Buttcoin has closed.
Dear Visitors,
Effective immediately Buttcoin will be shutting down all news / satire and returning all client laughs.
Due to declining comedy value Buttcoin can not operate in it
For immediate press release:
Bitcoins seem to be slowly rising from their doledrums. In the last 30 days the price of bitcoins have rising, from nearly crashing below $3 before slowly and steadily rising, just touching above $7 today. What’s going on, what’s driving this increase and what’s going on in the next week for bitcoins?
I have 3 theories myself:
1) People cashing out bitcoins after starting up school again. No time to devote to mining anymore, cash out and spend the cash on books and supplies. The price rise is normal buy-back from people still in the game.
2) Cashing out bitcoins for holiday spending. The end of the year cash crunch means that many people could be selling their bitcoins to buy Christmas presents. Price tanked around October though, which seems too early for that. Price increase was people buying back their coins.
3) Bitcoin is just being the volatile cunt it always is and who know why the fuck the price tanked.
Option 3 seems the most likely option. What’s interesting to watch out for is the upcoming episode of the hit CBS sandy-vagaina show
We’ve been nominated for Best Bitcoin Blog for 2011 in the BitcoinBetas.com Bitcoin Awards! Go vote today, they don’t give participation awards.
A bitcoin user found the best use of his anonymous crypto-currency was to purchase medication from Craigslist. It went about as well as one can expect buying: nearly dead, lying on the floor in the bedroom of your studio apartment gasping for air and cursing the feds.
This is an actual thing. I am not making this up. Just look at this chucklefuck on this stupid paper bill for digital currency. LOOK AT IT!!!
Bitcoin is about to be featured in a major network tv drama about crying first ladies or something, I don’t fucking know.
CBS’s Primetime Drama Series “The Good Wife” just put out a casting call for an upcoming episode entitled “Finding Mr. Bitcoin”:
[DYLAN] 34 to 45, an underdressed lawyer prankster, brilliant, likable, and a bit childlike, he represents the creator of Bitcoin, an online currency, and is being pressured by the Treasury Department to reveal the identity of his client…GUEST STAR
[ELAINE] 30 to 35, stunning, extremely intelligent, and a bit mischievous, an MIT astrophysicist, she’s been named one of the Ten Hottest Geek Women. A rarity in the cryptography field, she proves very popular at Crypto-Con, the Comic-Con of cryptographers…GUEST STAR
[BAO] 26 to 35, a Chinese, male individual, brilliant but painfully shy, easily embarrassed, and quick to develop crushes, he’s an econophysicist from Nankai University who may or may not be the true inventor of Bitcoin…GUEST STAR. PLEASE SUBMIT ALL ASIAN ETHNICITIES
[TOM] 30 to 42, a severe, serious, suited man, he’s a federal agent from the U.S. Treasury Department who’s been following Dylan and trying to shake him down for information on the inventor of Bitcoin…GUEST STAR. SUBMIT ALL ETHNICITIES
[ALEX] 28 to 35, a nervous, small-time hotel manager, he testifies to the existence of a promotion at his business that accepted frequent flyer miles and Bitcoin as currency…ONE-DAY GUEST STAR
[DYLAN] 34 to 45, an underdressed lawyer prankster, brilliant, likable, and a bit childlike, he represents the creator of Bitcoin, an online currency, and is being pressured by the Treasury Department to reveal the identity of his client…GUEST STAR
[ELAINE] 30 to 35, stunning, extremely intelligent, and a bit mischievous, an MIT astrophysicist, she’s been named one of the Ten Hottest Geek Women. A rarity in the cryptography field, she proves very popular at Crypto-Con, the Comic-Con of cryptographers…GUEST STAR
[BAO] 26 to 35, a Chinese, male individual, brilliant but painfully shy, easily embarrassed, and quick to develop crushes, he’s an econophysicist from Nankai University who may or may not be the true inventor of Bitcoin…GUEST STAR. PLEASE SUBMIT ALL ASIAN ETHNICITIES
[TOM] 30 to 42, a severe, serious, suited man, he’s a federal agent from the U.S. Treasury Department who’s been following Dylan and trying to shake him down for information on the inventor of Bitcoin…GUEST STAR. SUBMIT ALL ETHNICITIES
[ALEX] 28 to 35, a nervous, small-time hotel manager, he testifies to the existence of a promotion at his business that accepted frequent flyer miles and Bitcoin as currency…ONE-DAY GUEST STAR
Sounds thrilling, I’m sure.
Someone decided that the only thing Bitcoin needs to revive it’s slow and torturous death is a little publicity! What better way to advertise then radio tv a cheaply made flyer to plaster around your neighborhood. Fortunately, not many people took him seriously and instead our friends BitcoinPorn decided to do Buttcoin a little honor in making this poster for me.
What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.
Ars Technica had a great article on Bitcoin’s latest crash, and instead of reflecting on what this means to the community and the possible coming age of stability of the currency, they decided to tear down this website as being a shill for the Fed and accuse us of trolling Bitcoins and causing all the problems.
The jig is up guys, we better pack it in because we’re shills for the Fed, being paid in Mt. Dew and Bugels
Also, what’s up with that “penis” spoiler tag?