How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bitcoin
For anyone who has been under a rock or in a cabin in Canada or something for the past thirty-six hours, the price of Bitcoins has crumbled. After hitting a high of 266 filthy fiat dollars per tulip bulb, the price crumpled as thousands of people stepped back and realized they’d made a terrible mistake. The resulting selloff once more devastated the Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange‘s servers, pushing the lag up to over an hour, allowing us to watch the price topple down the charts like distant starlight reaching the Earth for the first time in millennia. It finally settled at a low of $105 before jumping back up to $200, then back down, then up, then down, up and down like a yo-yo. Relatively smarter people and panic sellers got out, while the true believers rode it all the way down, despite their losses.
MtGOX finally admitted that they were not being DDoSed, instead announcing that they are merely incompetent and unprepared for actual web and exchange traffic. They then pulled the brakes and halted all trading entirely to let the market “cool down” following the price crashing.
Meanwhile, trading continued at smaller exchanges, with the prices falling well below $100 as wary “investors” jump ship. Many of them have experienced their own issues from the flood of traffic, with Bitfloor crying wolf DDoS.
What drove this ridiculously huge bubble? If you ask the average bitcoin chump, he’ll tell you that the citizens of Cyprus are buying up huge amounts of bitcoins to hide from their government’s “theft” as the country tries desperately to save its flailing economy. Amazing bitcoin ATMs and fantastic new bitcoin services are springing up all over the country, as well as everywhere else in Europe. None of this is true, however. Cyprus is involved, but not in the way that everyone is trumpeting. Bitcoiners saw the crisis in Cyprus and attempted to pitch their flaky “currency” to Cypriots as a way to escape government controls, hype built up around this, media attention built up around the hype, and then this all began feeding back on itself until yesterday’s reality check.
Today, prominent posts in the bitcoin subreddit included links to suicide helplines, angry screeds about MtGOX, people calling each other out for giving bad financial advice, and the occasional smuglord showing off that he’s still hoarding his buttcoins. The atmosphere there is rather deflated. Bitcointalk just wants MtGOX’s blood.
Who’s left holding the bag this time? Everybody who was gambling on the price going up uP UP forever, all the true believers who’ve been led astray by the likes of Rickard Falkvinge, Max Keiser, and Alex Jones, foolish investors who read about this newfangled “bitcoin” thing in shitty financial rags, and the Winklevoss twins (notable for such aptly named websites as “Hukkster” and “
AntonAnsgar
April 12, 2013 @ 12:51 am
An exchange failed and speculators flocked away as they came. This is not a display of any weakness related to Bitcoin itself. Your website will make you feel like an idiot one day.
Holloway
April 12, 2013 @ 2:54 am
At the crest of a more than 200$ loss overnight? Yeah, I bet he’s feeling really damn foolish.
AntonAnsgar
April 12, 2013 @ 5:12 am
I bet he’s feeling pretty smart today. What I said was: Your website will make you feel like an idiot “one day”
mmxbass
April 12, 2013 @ 9:49 am
Yeah well… that day isn’t today, kid. Keep on bleating, we can use the laughs.
C W
April 21, 2013 @ 10:44 am
HISTORY WILL ABSOLVE ME A BLEE A BLOOH.
It’s slightly less effective to bluster while we can still see the tears welling up in your eyes. The weaknesses in BTC are social in nature, and gullible idiots like yourself are the “weakness”.
You play at being a “Captain of Industry” and get de-pantsed by your fellow deregulation-spewing free marketeers. Let us know when we can stop laughing and we will, promise. We’ll pay! We’ll ALL PAY.
Butt Coin
April 12, 2013 @ 7:24 am
It’s been 2 years I’ve been writing about this junk, hopefully that day comes soon so I can finally put a bullet in my brain.
Sneakernets
April 12, 2013 @ 12:45 pm
Pinging mtgox.com [72.52.5.67] with 32 bytes of data:
Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Request timed out.
Ping statistics for 72.52.5.67:
Packets: Sent = 4, Received = 0, Lost = 4 (100% loss),
All I really need to know.
Living on Bitcoin for a week: What we should have learned - Buttcoin - The P2P cyrpto-currency for butts.
May 23, 2013 @ 8:27 am
[…] price fluctuations leading to losses one way or another. He himself got out right before the last big crash, selling for $250 apiece. She later meets up with Dan Kaminsky, who is at times a bit more […]