This blog is now in archive-only mode! We have new outlets for expressing our excitement and contempt for all forms of cryptocurrency now!

You can follow us and laugh along with Bitcoin and other cryptocurrency projects on our twitter, @Buttcoin.

You can also talk with other global banking shills on our subreddit, /r/Buttcoin.

While we are officially putting the blog out to pasture, Buttcoin is not dead. We still hate you all.

The post Buttcoin is pooped. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

tatertatertatertot

“bitcoins.” and then he
laughed. but who laughs last? (the one
who laughed at bitcoin.)

nobodybelievesyou

frictionless money
futuristic and secure
sorry for your loss

Purplekeyboard

Every Bitcoin tale
Begins with, “Fuck you, got mine!”
Ends, “Fuck, you got mine!”

Unistrut

Bitcoin price falls down
Hold the line! Trust Satoshi!
Tears fall, like your coins.

kadonka

reassuring words
with eerie robot cadence
hi i’m roger ver

Paradigmist

hey, I liked your post
have a penny for your thoughts
WHOA, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

serpentine91

To the Moon we go
Oh no, the price crashed again
Back to Mom’s Basement

PoopToucher3000

it’s that time again
please post the number for the
suicide hotline

Not to be outdone, SA forums goons got in on the action:

Trig Discipline

“cryptocurrency”
means “even you can’t find it”
sorry for your loss

at least tulip bulbs
grow into pretty flowers
bitcoin’s just hot air

Sweevo

all this mining heat
dries my strawberries nicely
help i have heatstroke

bucketmouse

eternal cycle
screaming, smug, crying, giddy, sad
cryptocurrency

theflyingexecutive

dread pirate roberts
will rot for life in prison
please send magazines

The post Bitcoin haiku appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

About 2 weeks ago I was rummaging around a garage sale (as I often do on the weekends) and found an old Dell laptop that was in fairly good condition and paid $50 for it. I’m fairly into tinkering with old electronics and such so before I reformatted the drive, I decided to go snooping. To my amazement, It had an old version of bitcoin qt on it which contained about 61 btc in an unencrypted wallet. At first i thought i was could good to be true but I was able to transfer the btc into the wallet on my computer with the help of a friend who knows way more about btc than I do. He was shocked as well. Next week I plan on selling about 1/2 of the stash on coinbase and use the money to buy a car. Am I a terrible person because i have no intention of giving any of the bitcoins back?

Now, before we continue, we should point out the following:

• 61 BTC, as of Nov. 18th, is worth $23,040 dollars, at $377.70 per BTC.
• In California, Grand Theft is when property has been taken at over $950. We’re using California as a reference, because Grand Theft law changes from state to state. Legal Match�pegs the average you’d need to steal as somewhere in the $500-$1,000 range.
• A Third Bullet Point!

But, hey! He is generous:

I did give my friend a few bitcoins for helping me out.

• That would make his friend an accomplice. Hey, that could be our third bullet point!

At this point, the Bitcoin community, who, may I remind you, loves “Be Selfish” icon Ayn Rand like no other, gave the following bits of advice:

mustyoshi

Pretty sure you’re fine legally.

But if you’re so concerned about the law, why don’t you return it? I’m sure the person would give you a portion for being a good person.

justanothershibehere

It would be a great thing for the collective if you were to take $1,000 cash, put it in an envelope and go put it in their mailbox. Anonymous $1,000 would brighten their world. Plus you just received $2x,XXX for nothing, don’t be a dick, spread the love.

The post Is It Stealing if the Vendor Doesn’t See You Take It? Part 2 appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

There is an incredible thread on r/Bitcoin right now�on how Bitcoin clearly isn’t catching on through its 1 documentary, so the cult�should spread the ‘Coin to fiction. Specifically movies, or, to, be more�specific, heist movies.

THIS IS THE BEST BITCOIN IDEA, EVER. They could do so many “Based on a True Story”-type movies, because Bitcoiners, as a community, have been scammed and stolen from countless times. I don’t even need to list examples like Mt. Gox or MintPal, just Google “Bitcoin Stolen”, and you get a list as long as long as pi.

A user on BitcoinTalk has posted a list of Bitcoin Heists since 2010. It was so big, they had to start a new thread due to character limits. Buisness Insider says based on the evidence presented by these lists (Which we’re going to assume is credible, since we’ve established these people don’t fuck around with their precious ‘Coin), over 818,485.77 BTC was stolen, estimated at $500+ Million Dollars.

By their estimates, that means 1 out of every 16-17 BTC is owned by someone who stole it.

Do you know what an awesome movie that could potentially be? The currency of the future: Stolen. Liam Neeson is: The Collector. Christmas 2014. Awesome.

Or it would have been, had the Ed Wood’s of the web not decided to take the cool factor out of the heist and replaced it with the following�pitches:

procabiak
How about a 300,000 bitcoin BIP38 private key embedded onto a $50,000 diamond?

tenthirtyone1031
Spoiler: They used multisig. The paper wallet was broken in to pieces and held by X number of people around the world. Two different groups are racing to collect the pieces. No one knows how many signatures they need. After three failures the cold wallet locks forever.

escapevelo
So weird that I had this idea today too when I woke up this morning, albeit, with a different script idea. My script was based around a developer that creates an app that allows him to create anonymous bounties to get anything done in the real world. The bad guys are chasing him, but the app allows him to stay one step ahead of them by paying anonymous strangers to do tasks.

So Roger Ver’s new “Bitcoin Bounty Hunter” thing. Or alleged Silk Road mastermind Ross Ulbright’s alleged murder plot. Honestly, that’s decent, but not original. Next.

jcoinner
It should be story of some guys who break in and steal the private key for the FBI $130 million address. Months of planning and reconnaissance, daring social engineering, hi-tech gadgetry and zero day exploits. But wait, Jack Bauer is on the scene and all is lost until he is convinced to join the team and thwart the evil FBI agents who are about to sell the key to a Russian hacker for 10% (in unrelated coins). The team gets the key and away but before they have a chance to sweep the coins Jack has divert them to an African charity outfit “and they’re gone”…

What is it with these guys and “Social Engineering”. I swear I’m doing an article someday on how truly awful they are at it. Also, Jack Bauer is a trademarked character. You can’t use him. I know you can understand that. And why would Jack give the coins to an “African Charity Outfit”. And what’s a “Charity Outfit”? And what $130 FBI address? A Bitcoin Address? Their physical address is worth $130 Million?

This is probably the first movie “Best of the Worst” could just read and critique, without even needing to see the movie.

And, to be clear, the plot here is a highly skilled team breaks into the FBI, a highly secure area with the potential of being shot on sight, and steal millions with their hi-tech gear.�Sound familiar?

Next.

The_Evil_Within
If we’re going to crowd-fund this, we should (obviously) raise the funds in Dogecoin. (I hope the meta-humour aspect is obvious…)

Oh yeah! Ha! I get it! Obviously!

I’d say suspense/comedy loosely based on the MtGox story. Except you need a physical break in aspect to the heist, and probably some kind of special government strike force in play at the same time.

A Suspense Comedy? The hell�is that? And based on Mt. Gox? Mt. Gox wasn’t a heist, it was a tragic case of incompetence gone unchecked in the libertarian utopia. A heist movie based on that would not be related to the Mt. Gox tragedy story at all! Its like comparing�Edward Penishands�to Alice in Wonderland: Sure, they have that Tim Burton connection, but one is a porno, and the other is a kids movie! They’re two completely different things, barely hanging by a single thread.

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do…

A “Suspense Comedy” based on Mt. Gox is an oxymoron, like “Jumbo Shrimp” or “Successful Long-Term Bitcoin Investment”. Next.

n1nj4_v5_p1r4t3
Just get me a GoPro and ill make it!

Y’know, I looked up this guy on YouTube, and nothing. Did a Google Video search, and found this pro-marijuana site. Turns out his only video experience is commenting this�on a video:

Do an Image search on his name, and its marijuana everything. In short, he’s a stoner without a camera. Considering Bitcoin’s development history, he’s perfect! Get on it, N1nj4!

Perish_In_a_Fire
Plot twist: At the end, when the police get the paper wallet, the owners transfer their bitcoins to another offline wallet, making the physical paper worthless.
In Hollywood terms, they’d make the balance shrink to zero dramatically with a sound effect.

Problem: Explaining that plot twist to an audience that�has no idea what Bitcoin is�would take so long, the only suspense that would be in the theater is the guy who falls asleep, then wakes up suddenly when the seat in front of him squeaks loudly. PUT SOME WD-40 ON YOUR SEATS, EDWARDS 21 IN BOISE, ID. I WANT TO TAKE A NAP DURING TRANSFORMERS 4.

By the way, the sound effect of “The Balance Shrink” would be this:

Also, this thread explains a lot about the Bitcoiner’s mindset: There is no main plot they are all “Crowdsourcing”. Its just adding “Plot Twist” onto “Plot Twist”. They are just looking for the reward, and not doing the work themselves. Explains a lot, actually.

ilhaguru
The blockchain needs its “THE MATRIX” movie moment.

What the fuck was the Matrix’s “Movie Moment”? When it got inducted into Guinness Book of World Records? When research papers popped up around it? �When it made a Billion globally? When it made $2B globally? When it made $2.5B globally? When Larry (Sorry, Lana) Wachowski became Lana Wachowski? Exactly what and when did “The Matrix” have its “Movie Moment”?

And what good would a “Blockchain” movie be in a post-Matrix world? It’d be seen as a ripoff, and lose all of its money. Next.

yaginuma
I want to see Zack Galifianakis digging for a hard drive in a garbage dump.

Again, there’s just the reward, but no context or set up. There is no work here. Its just a cool reward he’d like to get to, ASAP. In fact, the only�fleshed out plot and Buttcoin Award recipient for weirdest fucking movie pitch so far is from this guy who is seriously violating Poe’s law with his post:

crap_punchline
Hackers 2: Bitcoin Boogaloo

Directed by M. Night. Shywhatever

Soundtrack by Skrillex

Plot: A group of young hackers lead by notorious nude celebrity photo hacker “Dubst3pWarr10r@MP3” (played by Shia LaBeouf) discover Bitcoin and use it to hack the Government Infastructure Business Security Ordnance Network (GIBSON) in order to take down the Fed and reboot the finance system with the currency, but all of their Bitcoins get hacked by a paedophile terrorist called “Reddit0r” (played by Dustin Diamond), so they embark on a mission to infiltrate a costume convention using the youngest member of their hack crew, a 9 year old transgendered video game champion, to lure Reddit0r into a sex sting trap on a show called To Catch A Reddit0r, where he is caught red handed (literally with his hand down a child’s pants) and is forced to surrender the Bitcoins but then they all die in a surprise Coen Brothers inspired twist ending.

Left here, without comment.

In the beginning of the Reddit post, the OP asked for a producer. Well, believe it or not, I worked at, then ran a public access TV studio in Boise, ID for 3 years. And I can say this with 100% certainty: all these pitches are incomplete messes, and the one almost-developed pitch would only work as a porno, because of the level of lame parody in it.

Noted Film Critic�Mike Stoklasa once said

Movies are a blend of art and business.

That basically means movies are half artistic, as in writing, acting, set design, props, directing, lighting, etc., and business, or pitch meetings, budgets, balance sheets, revenue streams, monetization�through merchandise and trademarking, etc.

From the failures I’ve seen, both here and in the Bitcoin community as a whole, no Bitcoin movie will ever come from this. That’s probably why the one forum is “BitcoinTalk”, and not “BitcoinAction”, because all these people do is talk, but never do. The most they will ever get from film or TV is that brief plot point in the cancelled FOX series “Almost Human“:

What a bunch of dickhands.

The post The Greatest (Bitcoin) Movie Never Made appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Because I’ve been doing more digging�for Bitcoin-related stories, I have certain sources�I tend to go back to. One of them is /r/Bitcoin. It has been one of the best spots�for researching anything I have ever come across for a reporter such as myself. It’s like the all scams, misogyny and bad ideas come right to me! (But I look other places as well, because I’m not lazy, like CNN.)

I have no real opinion of Reddit. I actually kind of like it to be honest even though I personally never used it.�It just seemed like some popular link site that had weird groups like the Bitcoin nuts in addition to being the homebase of the Men’s Rights movement. I got turned off by things like that and�Adrien Chen’s article on�Violentacrez�but now, thanks to BTC, I’m back.

Throughout the time I’ve known of /r/Bitcoin I’ve figured it attracts a lot of newbies wanting to learn about the ‘coin. Seems reasonable, right? It is the first source listed in the “Keeping Up to Date” section on everyone’s favorite Bitcoin Starter site, WeUseCoins.com�(now owned by Butterfly Labs).

In life, there are many things we know we don’t know. There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. But what we do know is that there are�76% of Americans�don’t have a clue what�a Bitcoin is. Either they don’t know its a thing, or they don’t really care. In the same survey linked above, 80% of people said they’d rather have Gold over Bitcoin, probably because Gold is easy to explain and, economically speaking, proven.

But what about those few who genuinely want to know more? What about the men and women�who are genuinely excited about such a interesting concept? Those who want to dip their toe into “The Currency of the Future”? What does the Reddit Bitcoin community, linked to by many of the most prominent Bitcoin introduction sites, do to help them, the newest of newbies, looking for the most “Up to Date” info?

The answer is just harass them, apparently.

Case in point:

There’s an old business adage that says “No company was ever unionized without deserving it”. This means�things need to change but the guys in charge don’t seem to realize that�things are so bad�that�pretty much 90% of our�site’s content�is devoted to�them and their blatant idiocy. So now its time to force some changes.

First lets just be clear: A member of the Reddit Bitcoin community has decided there has been so much�harassment that there needs to be some basic guidelines on how to handle the newbies. So right off the bat things are less Utopian than they have been proclaimed, and more like if the newbies were Snake Plisskin in “Escape from New York”, with everyone just attacking him just because they’ve never seen him before.

Alright. So what’s going on?

Huh. That’s actually a pretty clear�depiction of what’s going on. Although there are so many other things you could have pointed out, in reference to just /r/Bitcoin.

This is going surprisingly well.

Well, you haven’t managed to run anyone off Reddit with the usual Bitcoin-Related insanity, so let’s listen.

Yes. If this rule was followed, they could have 5 more “Adopters”�a year.

Wow, 2 out of 3 so far. Bravo.

I’d just like to point out that this guy’s name is “secret_bitcoin_login“. It took a guy with the username “secret_bitcoin_login” to be reasonable. Good job, guys!

That “By Request” link, FYI, goes to a comment down in the same thread by a guy named “BigBlackHungGuy“. You guys suck with names.

But names aside, these are 4 legitimate, level-headed and, above all else, reasonable requests. However, given the history of the ‘Coin and its cult-like communities’ past PR disasters being basically a string of hilarious incidents�akin to a train crashing and spilling its cargo of dildos next to a row of churches, one car at a time, this is probably going to hit hard.

Now before we continue let me make one thing clear: No, I did not read the comments on the thread. It restored my faith in some Bitcoin followers and I don’t want that immediately destroyed by someone probably named 13-23. This isn’t like the last article�where there’s a string of comments that show “THESE PEOPLE SHUR ARE STUPID!”-esque rhetoric. I want to really look into what’s going on here. And I think I know a good starting place.

Recently in the Buttcoin subreddit�a man posted his story about trying to explain that there are, in fact, people who know about Bitcoin, but don’t really support�it. The top comment, according to him, was that those people don’t exist, a type of mindset the Cult Education Institute calls “Loading the Language“, where easy, memorable and short catchphrases become constricting, to the point that anything outside the “Language” is absurd.

The idea that 76% of Americans don’t know about Bitcoin is to some a laughable statistic in much the same way anti-vaccination crazies, when shown 4 different stories about how not getting vaccinated hurt or even killed people, just strengthened their belief that vaccinations are terrible.�Asterios Kokkinos�had a great quote on Episode 21 of the podcast “The Biggest Problem in the Universe“:

“I believe all these statistics, obviously, but the people that don’t vaccinate their kid are not gonna be convinced by statistics, so it’s like, what the fuck do we do? …Like, I know that on this program, you don’t necessarily talk about solutions, but, like, seriously. What the fuck do you do? You can yell a million statistics. You can get 1,000 doctors.” (Source)

The answer, it seems, is that you can’t do anything. Whether is be�Bitcoin cheerleaders or Anti-Vaccination nutjobs or 9/11 Truthers, there is no convincing people they are wrong or that there is other information they are refusing to see once the language has been loaded.

Therefore, none of the four great suggestions will ever come to fruition because they don’t really “Work” in the context of the language.

So we could show every single example of how embarrassingly easy it can be to scam these guys or how they get arrested for doing stupid things like starting Silk Road and letting a CAPTCHA expose your IP address every time someone logs on yet sticking to your�guns because Bitcoin is right and anything else is wrong. It’s like in “The Dark Knight Rises”, when Bane tells a really hot guy “You stay in this plane that’s about to crash”, and the guy just goes all blue steel on him, melts my heart, then crashes with the plane (~swoon~). Someone not constricted would go at least go “I wanna get out of the plane!” Then die, because Bane gave that person permission to. But at least make an effort! Don’t just let “The Cause” be the thing that leads you to your slaughter! Have a little fight in you!

But Bitcoin is comforting to them now. Anything that goes against it in turn goes against what makes them comfortable. Questioning Bitcoin, therefore, is a major source of discomfort and needs to be remedied ASAP.

In our coverage of the FTC’s case against Butterfly Labs, we showed you documents from BFL’s motion to dismiss that were so glaringly condescending it made me�dry-heave because I was laughing so hard. It was completely unnecessary but there it was. In a legal document, submitted to a federal court, this was presented with the only edits being certain italicized words to really layer on the sarcasm:

If they REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALY wanted to know, they’d just let us continue, like the market demands.

It shows a level of condescension and confidence that is not acceptable in any trial, anywhere, especially when it’s you against the feds. It shows said traits on the same levels as, say, serial killer�Ted Bundy as he defended himself in court. We all knew he was guilty but he was so sure he could use his charm to get out of jail because it worked with everyone else, especially his victims. It didn’t work. Even when his 5 court-appointed lawyers told him to let them handle it he demanded to be his own defense, a move one of his lawyers, Polly Nelson, said

“…sabotaged the entire defense effort out of spite, distrust, and grandiose delusion” (Source)

Same with any clip of Charles Manson. You see him saying insane shit all the time, but have you noticed there is a structure to how he will say something in English, then devolve into babbling nonsense? It seems like he is having bits of clarity, followed by�being pulled back into, well, Mansonland. That’s the language constricting him. And with Manson that constriction by language is so tight that the only words that can come out are gems like “You guys are living a thousand illusions, man!”�Between those two quotes, the one from Bundy’s lawyer and Charles Manson, does the Bitcoin Cult not pop up just a little bit? Especially with Nelson’s “Grandiose Delusion” bit?

When people are trying to learn about this cool thing called Bitcoin and are met with hostility, and then the cult wonders why people hate them, it becomes absurdity! Of course people are going to hate the asshole who, when you ask a supposedly simple question like “What’s a gigahash?” or “Where can I find coins?”, instead of being directed to the Newbie forum, you get called a dick for wasting everyone’s precious time that could be spent studying the philosophy of Satoshi’s masterpiece.

The Loaded Language Bitcoiners work with involves phrases like “Currency of the Future”, “Sheeple”, “Early Adopters” and “Decentralized”. Words that, if strung together enough times, create an atmosphere that tells a Bitcoiner “Anyone who doesn’t know what Bitcoin is must be a fool!”, while everyone else looks at that guy and just goes “Fuck this, I’m paying for my Panera Bread with my Credit Card like an adult.”

There are so many other things that people don’t like about that community of nutjobs, like how everything is the most complicated process that cannot be explained, but these people are pretty much harmless fedora-wearing bronies�who hide behind the veil of Libertarianism like it means something to anyone besides Ron and Rand Paul.

A constricting loaded language has led to the cult of the ‘coin. Some of the members of said cult will read this and deny every word I’ve written and attempt to proclaim their currency is the way of the future.

All I will say is this: Visa has VisaNet, their main network�center, located on the eastern side of the US. VisaNet�can handle 24,000 transactions per second. In�that single second, security measures are put in place to stop fraud, stop risks (like overcharges) and help aid in disputes. They also do a 5 day stress test each summer to flood the network with transactions to make sure it can handle an excess number of transactions like at Christmas time, when everyone and their mother is trying to buy something. 2013’s highest capacity was 47,000 transactions per second. And since they can modify their system for maximum efficiency, everyone, everywhere can use Visa and not have to worry their payment won’t go through due to a technical error.

Bitcoin currently accepts 7 transactions per second. I can’t really provide a source though since all the information I wanted to link to is by the cult. And it’s all wrong. You try to get a legit answer from the cult on just this one thing, why the all-digital currency of the future can only handle a minuscule number of transactions compared to a supposedly outdated system, and all you get are lies. Pre-constructed lies at that because, like all cults, the members cannot think on their own.

The post Why People Dislike the Cult of ‘Coin. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

In a Reddit thread where the Bitcoin community tries an outreach program to understand why someone who understands Bitcoin would still�have a negative view of it, a lone small business owner speaks up (now edited) and offers an insightful opinion on why he doesn’t think that Bitcoin is worth the trouble for his shop:

I am a business owner. My sole interaction with Bitcoin comes from Bitcoin missionaries.

Not a single Bitcoin missionary has come in that hasn’t raised my ire. From being told that it’s “natural for older people to fear technology” (I’m in my 30’s) to being told that Bitcoin will allow me to make “real money”, it’s been nothing but a condescending shitshow of buzzwords.

It doesn’t save me money on credit cards. Don’t bother, I’ve walked through this with them before. But then they say “Well, what about POLITICAL reasons, hmm?”

If I’d listened to the kids who come into my store, I’d be locked into a bunch of $1000 coins lost in Mt. Gox. Then, later, I’d invest in that new business-minded bank, Neo Bee, which would help me with all my commerce needs! Then, to top it off, I could get a Robochain ATM to further bilk my customers.

There’s a never ending swarm of condescending college kids trying to pitch me ideas that end in disaster over and over. I’ve written about them before. Remember the whole “YELP LOVES BITCOIN!” thing? Yeah, I had to scrape those fucking “promo” stickers off my door.

The thing is, like I said, Bitcoin doesn’t help me. But you know how I hear about Bitcoin? From the same type of people that come in trying to get me to sign up for “United Electro Company TO SAVE BIG MONEY!” or “Totally not a scam ATM Company TO MAKE YOU BIG MONEY!”

And, like I said, it doesn’t help that I keep getting pitched ideas that fail. Plus, as much as you guys talk about how it isn’t about the price, you should connect to the guys handing out pamphlets business-to-business.

There is literally no difference in behavior from someone coming into my store trying to scam me, and the Bitcoin people. Same behavior, same pitches, same everything.

So now when an awkward kid dressed in their dad’s ill-fitting suit come ins, dragging a buddy and pamphlets, we play the following game:

Watchtower or Blockhain?

Reddit, in their ongoing effort to seem friendly to newcomers and help them understand the nuances of the technology and�how it can better their lives, puts their best foot forward and respond to common criticisms.

They call him a liar, a troll, and try the same tired schtick he’s just got done explaining that he’s heard a million times before.

[�]jonstern 3 points an hour ago

Bitpay? No risk and you pay 1%. How can you say that doesn’t save you on 3% credit card fees?

 

[�]yourliestopshere 3 points 2 hours ago

This was silly. Not being condescending, just observing. Its okay for a new technology to meet resistance, we should all expect this, but to compare bitcoin to a company that interacts with bitcoin, is entirely different, that is silly, or illogical. I understand your frustration, but if you care for an opinion worth repeating or public, you’d be better off googling more. There is a lack of understanding here, there needs to be clarification. If I can help, just ask.

 

[�]Forlarren 0 points an hour ago

The OP asked for informed opinions, sciencelovesyou doesn’t like bitcoins because of ignorance (admittedly knows little to nothing and doesn’t want to learn for reasons), and an anecdotal experience. Doesn’t exactly qualify but it got upvotes.

 

[�]Forlarren 0 points 41 minutes ago

Yes, ignorance, it’s not a dirty word.

I’m sure you know all sorts of things but bitcoin isn’t it and that’s what the OP asked for.

 

[�]Forlarren -1 points 40 minutes ago

He understands a few things about what he doesn’t like bitcoin, that in no way means he “understands bitcoin”. Even admitted so himself. Not what the OP asked for.

 

[�]Forlarren 0 points 23 minutes ago

Apparently because I told some Jehovah’s witnesses to got off my porch I now qualify as an expert in all things church related.

Either that or the shills don’t understand the OP’s question at all when they upvoted this post.

 

[�]MyDixieWreck4BTC 7 points 5 hours ago

Did you hear the one about being able to communicate with strangers miles away electronically?

 

[�]felipelalli 0 points 4 hours ago

Did you hear “bitcoin is about freedom“? This one is true.

 

[�]ToTheGroundGuy 1 point an hour ago

What sold you on credit cards?

You’re obviously a very strongly opinionated person.

Why do you accept them?

 

[�]dewbiestep 0 points 3 hours ago

If you buy into an insolvent exchange at the height of a speculation bubble, that’s not the fault of the missionaries. Mt gox was an incredibly stupid place to hold money for a year before they bailed. You should do due dilligence before making any of these decisions. But i’m sure the missionaries are annoying, and that alone will turn you away even if they’re talking about a good thing.

 

[�]Forlarren 2 points an hour ago

“But i’m sure the missionaries are annoying, and that alone will turn you away even if they’re talking about a good thing.”

This is a good way to go out of business.

 

[�]Forlarren 1 point 23 minutes ago

Too bad it isn’t what the OP asked for. You are just upvoting a criticism because it’s a criticism you agree with, not one coming from deep understanding of fundamentals that the OP was asking for.

 

[�]Perish_In_a_Fire -1 points 55 minutes ago

This is really a well-crafted astroturf piece. My congrats.

Coming off like a business owner who would’ve single-handedly been “ripped off” by every bad situation in Bitcoin and would have had coins lost on Mt. Gox!

What are the odds? I’d say they’re pretty fucking astronomical. But then again, we’re taking you at face value, aren’t we? We’re also assuming you don’t have any axe to grind against bitcoin in general, that you don’t have a business that enjoys a relatively lax credit-card processing tier – or indeed, does enough business to qualify for one.

I mean hell, for all we know you repair old televisions and typewriters, and couldn’t care less about Bitcoin because none of your clients would understand it.

Your story seems severely skewed. Pro-tip – if you want to sound more credible, just list one or two knocks for why you think Bitcoin won’t help you. It seems you went overboard and decided to go for the gusto – and it seems a bit forced.

 

[�]Perish_In_a_Fire -1 points 26 minutes ago

Hit a nerve?

It would’ve been more believable if you had just stuck to one or two, just remember that for next time. Nobody believes the guy that says he hit every pothole in the road

 

[�]Forlarren -1 points 21 minutes ago

No I agree, you haven’t actually shown any knowledge of bitcoin, just repeated a few headlines and bitched about your (potential) customers.

Anyone leaving coins on Gox automatically means they aren’t the opinion the OP was asking for.

 

The guy was eventually run out of the subreddit and deleted all his posts.

Way to go guys! What a warm and welcoming community!

The post Business Owner sounds off about Bitcoin Missionaries trying to convert him, the flock does not take well to dissenting opinions. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Cigarette Smuggling: Its not just the thing your cool Uncle did for you in high school (besides letting you watch scrambled porn in his wood-paneled den). It is a huge, ever growing, worldwide industry that you probably didn’t even know was a thing. Not that its your fault: in the United States, anyone�18 or over can get them, pretty much anywhere, and turn their lungs into ash (you still can’t legally get fucked up on wine coolers, though). How bad could it be?

Havocscope puts the worldwide illegal cigarette smuggling trade at $50 Billion, with $10 Billion in the United States alone. Or if you’re in the tech industry, that’s 10 Instagrams!

How?! How is something that is legal pretty much everywhere (Sans smoking bans in specific places like bars, restaurants and Idaho) make so much money?! How could Boston be in a situation where it is selling a legal, regulated product, and yet 40% of the cigarettes sold there are black market? In NYC, the rate is estimated to be as low as 48%, and as high as 60% , bringing yearly losses of $419 Million dollars for the state. How does a regulated product you can buy pretty much anywhere bring about such a huge loss? More specifically, who would Ron Paul blame for all this?

The answer is simple: Taxes. People buy smokes from “Alternative sources” (Reservations, states with lower taxes, the kid behind your old high school{go lions}) to avoid paying whatever the higher tax is in that state. See, here’s the thing: Each state has its own special tax on cigarettes. Some states have the infamous “Sin tax“, or that thing old people believe discourages other people from doing things that are bad for them, like drinking, smoking, masturbating, and buying junk food, thus�driving the price of that thing up (It doesn’t work, by the way).

So how does cigarette smuggling work? First, you get smurfers who will run to pharmacies around the state Well, as the Boston Globe explains, in places like Boston or New York (which, thanks to sin taxes, have put historically high taxes on smokes), smugglers will buy from either Native American reservations/factories on their land wholesale, or from states with lower taxes, like New Hampshire or Pennsylvania (Pennsylvania accounts for 60% of smuggled cigarettes in the US).�They then get them to the states with higher taxes. In Massachusetts, if you get caught with under 12,000 packs, its 1 year in jail. Over 12k packs, and its 5 years. Both penalties have fines up to $5,000. Meanwhile,�A Washington Post article from 2004 said that a whole truckload of cigarettes could net $2 Million off 800 cases, or 48,000 cartons. (Adjusted for inflation between 2004 and now, that $2M is more like $2.5M.) Bloomberg says that in the Carolinas, a load of 200 cases headed to New York can net almost $500,000.�So some people are seeing the $5K fine vs. the $500,000 profit, and are saying “Eh, who gives a shit.”

The difference for consumers is generally half the price of legal cigs. In New York, a legally bought pack of cigs can cost $13, whereas a smuggled pack can cost $6.

This sounds like an industry ripe for disruption (God I feel dirty after saying that).

Enter DutyFree, a company�with a beautiful website and a dirty job. They claim to have been in business since 2009, and their (self reported) stats are staggering. Just look at their front page:

Their claims are as follows:

-They�have saved consumers $3,440,000.
-They have sold 76,500 cartons.
-They can keep the cost, per pack, at around $4. (However, when you buy from them, its a carton. 1 carton = 10 packs = 20 Cigarettes per pack, on average.)
-They sell major brands, like Marlboro, Winston, Camel and more.
-BONUS: TAXES R THEFT!

They’re like Dollar Shave Club, only if Dollar Shave club was selling a heavily regulated, cancer-causing product illegally! Yes, this is illegal too, we’re not advertising them so you can get your smokes for free! We’re saying they’re going to jail soon! How? Lets explore:

On their FAQ, the VERY FIRST question is “Who are you and can I trust you with my money”. Their answer includes the fact that they sell on Silk Road, the Libertarian utopia where you can get drugs sent to your front door, as well as other hidden service marketplaces. This was Silk Road slightly over a year ago:

“Yeah, we used to sell there, but then it got shut down by THE MAN.”

Silk Road was shut down once (A second iteration has been running for a while now) for being a drug trafficking site, so the fact that they “Proudly” sell on there is a pretty big red flag.

The whole site is a giant red flag. That’s why everything here is red.

Now, lets go through all the laws they’ve broken so far:

–The PACT Act, a law that was signed by President Obama in 2009 to make the sale of cigarettes illegal online. This buinsess is tailor made to be a “Fuck You” to this law. If they’re caught, that’s a year in jail and their money gets sent to the Postmaster General to help fund operations finding this shit in the mail.

– The�Contraband Cigarette Trafficking Act of 1978�makes it illegal to sell over 10,000 cigarettes in a single transaction. The penalty is 3-5 years. We’ll go with 5, since they’re blatantly advertising how many cartons they’ve sold (75,00 cartons, or, at 200 cigarettes per carton,�150,00,000 cigarettes sold.)

–Being on Silk Road or any other marketplace is tricky. When Nod was arrested, he was charged with Conspiracy to Distribute Cocaine, Heroin and Meth, a violation of�Title 21 USC�841 (a)(1) and (b)(1)(C), and Title 21 USC 846�(Note that he was only charged on one count, despite there being 2 violations.) Yet Silk Road users could also be charged because each sale brings a commission that goes to SR’s management, ie financing a criminal enterprise. There’s also SR’s tumbler feature which mixes BTC to make it untraceable (However, since SR2’s�massive loss earlier this year, I believe they’ve stopped this and rely on 3rd party escrow), which is definitely�laundering�(I say definitely because its a major piece of evidence in the Ross Ulbright trial). Its tricky, but in the end, Nod’s crime would net him 10 years, minimum. Laundering cash is either giving all the money you laundered back, or a $10,000 fine. Between the two, that’s an extra 10 years + $10,000. In USD, not Buttcoins.

Total so far: $10,000 fine (Again, in USD, not Butts), and up to 15 years in jail.

Now how does this tie into BTC? Its all they take. They had bank accounts, but they were frozen. And, like any legitimate business, they have an excuse:

Why would banks ever hate doing business with shady overseas criminals? They’re just holding the money, right?

What happened before was THE MAN froze their accounts, because this is clearly illegal. But now, with Bitcoin, they are unstoppable! No one can find them, because they’re so secure, with their 256-AES encrypted digital money and that’s it!

Except their website is on the clearnet, or the internet everyone knows and loves, and not hidden away like on a Tor hidden service. You know. Easier to find. And with that, easier to see who bought what, when, where it was shipped to, etc. But, hey, you saved $20 bucks this year! Thanks, Reddit!

Also, focus on that last bit. “We’re pretty proud to be introducing new people to this great currency, people who wouldn’t bother buying it otherwise.” This is a pretty big problem with the Buttcoin proselytizers: they are their own worst enemy when it comes to advertising.

You actually think introducing people to the currency of the future through an illicit market is really the best way to get new cult members? Do you actually think that if there was someone who had no idea what Bitcoin was, the best way to introduce them to said �”Currency of the Future” would be through a service hawking illicit cigs? Because, bear in mind, a survey done in February 2014 said that 76% of Americans are not familiar with Bitcoin, and 79% have no desire to ever use it. Bloomberg reported that 6% of their respondents thought Bitcoin was an Xbox game; another 6% thought it was an iPhone game. 80% of respondents said they’d rather have gold, because at least it has value. Worst of all, 38% think that Bitcoin has hurt the US dollar! Its unfounded, but that’s not the point. The point is the public, by and large, thinks of Bitcoin in a negative light, and to be “Proud” of introducing people to it through a shady service like this only cements that idea in their head! How the fuck do you not get this?!

Lets move on to other examples of how stupid they are. On each cigarette package, there’s supposed to be an excise stamp, or a label�that lets the government know that specific product’s taxes (usually tobacco and alcohol) have been paid for. Usually, smuggled cigs don’t have that label on it, so its easy to identify which ones are legal vs. illegal. Our Canadian friends�might recognize this label:

This is what a Canadian Excise Tax looks like, with all the details pointed out. Here’s one�you might see in a Canadian store:

Here’s what they put on cigarettes in Pennsylvania:

Like all things from Pennsylvania, its simple.

See the main connection between them? No? Well, look at one sold by DutyFree:

Oh, yeah. It’s in fucking German.

In their FAQ, they say all their shit comes from Europe. BUT THEY PAY EXCISE TAX!!! YOU CAN VERIFY IT!!!

Except one thing: Excise tax in the US and Canada is usually in�English. Also, the packages are in English, too. I seriously doubt anyone is selling imported Marlboro’s from Moldova just because they like the packaging. Its the same shit. The difference is the countries, and that difference can equal 15 years in jail and $10,000 to THE MAN. Even if you are paying excise tax, and the label is on it, it doesn’t matter, because once it gets stateside, its clearly not the pack you find at EVERY STORE EVERYWHERE.

In fact, putting excise stamps is probably a detriment, because you can really only get official stamps from those specific countries. So buying from these guys is:

A) A guarantee you’ll get a visit from either the cops, the IRS or the ATF for evading taxes/buying drugs from�overseas. And when they see the Moldavian excise stamp on your package of Ukranian cigs, they will use that against you in court.

B) A Complete and total guarantee that “A” will happen, because its a clearnet site. They will be found, and you will be found through them. Silk Road was supposedly 100% anonymous, but they had CAPTCHA’s that exposed their IP address anytime it was used. The CAPTCHA was a clearnet product. This is too, and they will be caught because of it.

C) A clear indication that you’re a cheap fuck, because you refuse to pay taxes over here and instead pay a little less to help al-Qadea.

Oh, I forgot that shit. The main reason the government doesn’t want people buying smuggled cigarettes is because terrorists are using the revenue from this to buy God knows what!

And, yeah, we get that “Terrorism” is a convenient excuse for anything in the media this past decade, but how about the fact that the IRA, Hezbollah, the PKK, CNDP and FARC have all used it for funding their campaigns. This isn’t the Fort Dix incident; these are serious groups doing real harm, and they’re doing it, in part, with funds from cigarette smuggling. That’s why its important. But now you can get cigarettes with Bitcoin, so all that goes out the window!

For a group as fervent as Bitcoin aficionados, they sure do throw their values and common sense out the window when another thing they could buy with cash becomes available for their internet dollars.

Were not saying these guys are propping up terrorists by selling this stuff, but at the same time, we have no idea who they are! If you look at the first FAQ question from before, you see a link that says “OTC web of trust”. This is what pops up when you click on it:

Blazedout419 is a guy I can trust!

To be fair, they seem to be clean and have actually sold product. And its really not fair to accuse them of funding terrorism, when clearly all they want to do is not pay insane amounts of taxes on a product they love, using the currency they love. Its kind of sweet, actually. Love knows no bounds, and this time its going to get a bunch of people arrested and fined. And because they accept Bitcoin, they will never�be blamed for running an illegal business. They’re merely helpless victims sitting on piles and piles of cash.

But at least they have shipped their product, making them slightly better than Butterfly Labs.

The post Buttcoiners Becoming Buttleggers: How One Cigarette Smuggling Operation Will Get Everyone Involved Arrested appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

No wait, they just want free shit and the “tipping economy” is is an entire joke.

The comments on the torrent page are just as wonderful

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