Even Ron Paul hates bitcoins
In an interview with Bloomberg TV, former U.S. Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) said that he is concerned about the
Buttcoin bitcoin, fail, freedom, gold, hate, ron paul 2 Comments
In an interview with Bloomberg TV, former U.S. Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) said that he is concerned about the
Buttcoin bitcoin, bitfloor, bitstamp, ddos, hackers, mt. gox, shock and awe 3 Comments
A group of hackers is planning on a massive campaign to drop the price of Bitcoins for fun and profit.
According to a pastebin post, hackers are planning to unleash “Operation Shock and Awe”, a campaign to distribute negative news articles in conjunction with a massive sell-off and DDoS campaign on all bitcoin exchanges except one. Using this one remaining exchange, the plan is to buy up remaining coins for cheap, cheap, cheap and then profit when it goes up.
From the post:
15:30-15:45 UTC – Spread bogus AP press releases to 50+ national US and British media outlets and 100+ local outlets indicating exchange site Mt. Gox under investigation by Japnese government for securities fraud, with seizure and asset freeze soon 15:45-16:00 UTC – After initial publication of bogus AP press releases, spam story on reddit and upvote with sock accounts, spread panic in comments using sock accounts 16:00 UTC – Several sellers lined up for a coordinated dump of 250,000+ BTC which will crash the price to under 100 to correlate in time with publication of bogus AP reports 16:10 UTC – Massive coordinated http packet flood (distributed F5) from botnet of 1,000,000+ compromised machines on the following sites: – https://www.mtgox.com – https://btc-e.com – https://www.coinbase.com – https://www.bitpay.com – https://www.bitinstant.com – https://www.bitcoitalk.org – http://s2.bitcoinity.org – http://bitcoinium.com/ – http://bitcoincharts.com/ 16:30 – 17:00 UTC – During the ddos, buy only from Bitstamp which will not be included in the ddos but was included in the coordinated dump. 17:00 UTC – Stop ddos, buy as much cheap bitcoin from MTGOX as possible as quickly as you can 17:00 or later – Bogus AP reports will be corrected / debunked as hoax, price will rebound Potential profit 200-300%
These sound like scary dudes, I think we should be very afraid.
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, fraud, scam 1 Comment
In case you haven’t heard the news, German Polish buttcoin exchange Bitcoin24 is no longer operating, due to “The Polish authority” closing their bank account in Poland.
Before we proceed, let’s take a moment to look at Bitcoin24’s long and untarnished history. Founded in May of 2012, Bitcoin24 was allegedly the largest buttcoin exchange in Europe, with only the mighty Mt. Gox surpassing it in terms of volume and profit. Apparently they also surpass the Magic: the Gathering Online Exchange in terms of utter incompetence and hilarity. Recently, people found the admins asking questions on StackOverflow about how MySQL works and how to round numbers when working with financial data.
This was followed by the site’s trading engine shitting the bed and started to give people more money or bitcoins than they deserved, like a faulty ATM spitting torrents of cash into the street. It then broke down even further, with trades randomly appearing and disappearing before the site’s functionality went down entirely.
A few days ago, the site made the above announcement, in even more broken English. Today, we find this PDF, outlining the following (thanks to SA forums goon Greyhawk for the translation):
Oh, boy. So first thing this is a very, very bad translation from Polish into German. Very bad. Half of it doesn’t even make sense.
But the gist of it is:
– The German prosecution knows everything there is to know about bitcoin-24 right from when they began operating. And I do mean everything. Current bank accounts, old bank accounts. Who the money was coming from, who it was going to. Everything. In total over 500000 Euro were transferred via these accounts mostly from Germany towards Poland, Romania and Bulgaria
– German prosecution sees bitcoin-24 as a massive money laundering operation and are proceeding against the owner
– German prosecution has evidence that the owner is involved in phishing attacks and is proceeding against him about that too. Apparently the owner was retarded enough to send the “pure profit” of those attacks to the polish bitcoin24 bank account.
Furthermore, we find that his home was raided and he is no longer free.
Meanwhile, MtGOX is suffering from yet another “DDoS” and having a slew of issues with banks and Bitfloor is gone again. Just another day in the life of the currency of the future!
Buttcoin bitcoin, dating, magic, mtg, nerds, okcupid 2 Comments
Nerd-favorite dating site OKCupid is now accepting Bitcoins for whatever their A-List membership is. They’re using Coinbase to convert the coins into filthy fiat obviously because no one is dumb enough to accept Bitcoins directly. OKCupid chose to announce this momentous occasion by posting on Twitter and they did it the best way anything like this could be announced.
OkCupid will begin accepting Magic: the Gathering trading cards for our premium memberships beginning today @wizards_magic
— OkCupid (@okcupid) April 16, 2013
Wait, did we write Magic: the Gathering? We meant #bitcoin. Honest mistake. http://t.co/t1mbKeVH5d
— OkCupid (@okcupid) April 16, 2013
Maybe a slight nod to the fact that bitcoin’s largest business is a defunct Magic the Gathering trading card website? Or just an apt comparison for the usefulness of bitcoins?
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, funny, music, terrible 2 Comments
We’ve been so focused on the catastrophic crash of bitcoin that we’ve neglected to bring you some of the finest art that both the bitcoin and buttcoin worlds have to provide.
First, we bring you a labor of love from the SA forums:
Be sure to check out the fantastic Cosby mode!
Now that we’re done with the good, on with the bad!
killhamster bitcoin, burst, bust, crash, FUD 11 Comments
As everyone and their mother is aware of now, the price of bitcoins has fallen drastically, dragging the Winklevoss twins’ net worth down by over 20 million dirty dollars, destroying thousands of redditors’ “investments,” and crushing the hopes and dreams of FYGM libertarians everywhere. Since this obviously was not a speculative bubble and certainly didn’t pop because it was ridiculous, we’ll want to take a look at some of the forces that are actually at play here.
MtGOX and other smaller exchanges suffered from severe downtime and delays in trading as panic rippled through the streets and bitcoiners tried to withdraw their funds before their losses were too great. Now you may be tempted to say that these issues were due to being unprepared for the unprecedented popularity of bitcoin or that their infrastructure wasn’t suited to the unexpected rush of traffic. It could even be posited that the admins and coders were incompetent and clueless and had programmed the trading engines horribly. This couldn’t have been the case though, and instead we know for sure (because they told us and they’re absolutely trustworthy!) that every single exchange that was unreachable was being helplessly DDoSed by hundreds of thousands of anonymous hackers from notorious internet website 4chan in an attempt to both discredit Bitcoin and to drive down prices, allowing the miscreants to buy all the bitcoins at low prices before the rebound to million dollar bitcoins. Sadly, the attacks were unsuccessful and the mighty Mount Gox stands strong before us.
Some bitcoin enthusiasts have considered the logistics of launching satellites into orbit to maintain the bitcoin network and blockchain should the world economy collapse and cause a descent into anarchy. Those with access to the satellites would be able to continue mining and trading bitcoins, coming to rule over those who hadn’t planned so well. It could be that Avalon miners have surreptitiously been sent into space and slowly added to the network, their hashing throttled at the moment so as not to attract attention. Until Wednesday all was well until the notriously dangerous HAARP‘s energy was focused on these satellites, destroying the miners and destabilizing the currency, leading to the crash.
Meanwhile, the United States government has been attempting to destroy bitcoin as well, initiating their own DDoS attacks spearheaded by the CIA, launching packets from their headquarters in Langley, and the Department of Defense, using all five sides of the Pentagon to launch heretofore unprecedented attacks on bitcoin exchanges, bitcoin websites, bitcoin forums, and possibly even individual bitcoin users. Reports of imposing men dressed entirely in black suits attempting to intimidate and threaten bitcoin users have begun to trickle in. Unfortunately these reports are anonymous, as the affected users fear for their safety were they to go public.
We’ve also heard some rumors that the Freemasons are once more directly manipulating bitcoin prices, although to what extent and for what reasons we are unsure. They could be looking into colluding with the Illuminati/Bilderbergers to take control of Bitcoin while destroying the world economy and devaluing all other currencies with the ultimate goal of developing a one-world currency while ushering in the New World Order, eventually handing the planet over formally to the Reptoid aliens that have already infiltrated most of the world’s governments.
killhamster bitcoin, bubble, burst, bust, buttcoin, crash 8 Comments
For anyone who has been under a rock or in a cabin in Canada or something for the past thirty-six hours, the price of Bitcoins has crumbled. After hitting a high of 266 filthy fiat dollars per tulip bulb, the price crumpled as thousands of people stepped back and realized they’d made a terrible mistake. The resulting selloff once more devastated the Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange‘s servers, pushing the lag up to over an hour, allowing us to watch the price topple down the charts like distant starlight reaching the Earth for the first time in millennia. It finally settled at a low of $105 before jumping back up to $200, then back down, then up, then down, up and down like a yo-yo. Relatively smarter people and panic sellers got out, while the true believers rode it all the way down, despite their losses.
MtGOX finally admitted that they were not being DDoSed, instead announcing that they are merely incompetent and unprepared for actual web and exchange traffic. They then pulled the brakes and halted all trading entirely to let the market “cool down” following the price crashing.
Meanwhile, trading continued at smaller exchanges, with the prices falling well below $100 as wary “investors” jump ship. Many of them have experienced their own issues from the flood of traffic, with Bitfloor crying wolf DDoS.
What drove this ridiculously huge bubble? If you ask the average bitcoin chump, he’ll tell you that the citizens of Cyprus are buying up huge amounts of bitcoins to hide from their government’s “theft” as the country tries desperately to save its flailing economy. Amazing bitcoin ATMs and fantastic new bitcoin services are springing up all over the country, as well as everywhere else in Europe. None of this is true, however. Cyprus is involved, but not in the way that everyone is trumpeting. Bitcoiners saw the crisis in Cyprus and attempted to pitch their flaky “currency” to Cypriots as a way to escape government controls, hype built up around this, media attention built up around the hype, and then this all began feeding back on itself until yesterday’s reality check.
Today, prominent posts in the bitcoin subreddit included links to suicide helplines, angry screeds about MtGOX, people calling each other out for giving bad financial advice, and the occasional smuglord showing off that he’s still hoarding his buttcoins. The atmosphere there is rather deflated. Bitcointalk just wants MtGOX’s blood.
Who’s left holding the bag this time? Everybody who was gambling on the price going up uP UP forever, all the true believers who’ve been led astray by the likes of Rickard Falkvinge, Max Keiser, and Alex Jones, foolish investors who read about this newfangled “bitcoin” thing in shitty financial rags, and the Winklevoss twins (notable for such aptly named websites as “Hukkster” and “
killhamster bitcoin, bubble, burst, bust, buttcoin, crash, funny, selloff 3 Comments
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, funny, twitter 0 Comment
Choice cuts of butts here:
i am nude, shaved, & ready to be submerged within the digital chrysalis where i will generate bigcoins by doing ki warrior poses until i die
— wint (@dril) April 9, 2013
"Here, kid." you say, flipping the urchin a bitcoin. It's a large server and you've actually thrown it at the child. A woman screams.
— Dank MisTLetoe (@dankmtl) April 9, 2013
Oh you're still into Bitcoin yeah I guess they're ok, I'm more into Litecoin and Namecoin, they're a bit more indie, but yah Bitcoin's cool.
— Andrew S (@bn2b) April 9, 2013
2905: Scholars say the ancient Fedorite used to place a 'bitcoin' under his tongue to gain passage into the Underworld they called 'Reddit'
— Rei_ (@Random_Factor) April 7, 2013
Lemme cut to the chase here: Can I use bitcoin to buy drugs? Okay, super. Why isn't that the only question on your Q&A?
— Brock Wilbur (@brockwilbur) April 7, 2013
killhamster bitcoin, bubble, crash, MtGOX, selloff 22 Comments
For those not in the know, the Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange (MtGOX for short, emptygox to some) is the largest and most popular bitcoin “exchange,” a service that matches fools wishing to buy bitcoins with those who are just a bit wiser and are trying to get out. It’s somewhat similar to real stock exchanges, except it focuses on only one thing, does a terrible job trading, and was originally intended to exchange virtual Magic: the Gathering cards. MtGOX theoretically matches buyers and sellers, then takes a fee for each transaction, then apparently throws that away instead of spending it on maintenance, infrastructure, or administration. The site is notoriously laggy, has been