I want you to read the following block of text without thinking about how well your day is or isn’t going. This will induce spastic cringes so powerful your sleep apnea will be cured.
So today I took my kids to the pumpkin patch. It was a family farm and there were about 100 kids there. So it was nice, kids found their little pumpkins and were happy. Then I go to pay. Well I waited for 15 minutes, but nobody came to take my money. I walked to their house and there was a phone number there to call if nobody was around. Called it twice, left a message. Still nobody came out to take my money. I waited a total of 35 minutes and I don’t believe in stealing, but I’m not about to sit in a car for 30 minute car ride home with a 3 year old and 5 year old screaming at me as to why I left their pumpkins there, so I took them without paying.
Got home, found the farms email address and emailed them payment in bitcoin from coinbase. If they accept bitcoin next year, I’ll go back and buy more pumpkins. If not, fuck them, they will probably be out of business anyway since nobody was manning the register for a full 35 minutes(or longer)
Just in case there was any doubt, here’s the original post.
There are many things fucked up about this story. Here’s a short list, and feel free to add in the comments below if I missed anything:
1. Has this guy never been to a restaurant with a shitty waitress, and, instead of waiting for her to take your card, you just went up to the front desk and paid the guy at the register? There are ways around the problem of no one manning the register. One Redditor commented
brycey06 they didnt have a mailbox you could put your money through?
For the folks who can’t afford to suffer the whole playlist, listen directly to the two gems, 1st I got goxed, 3rd Love you like a bitcoin by Kryptina.
When I start trading my “fiat” money for buttcoins, then I’ll be a dumb fuck. Meanwhile, that honor goes, almost exclusively, to Ron Paul sheeplets, who repeatedly line up for fleecing… if bitcoins were printed on paper, you’d at least be able to wipe your arse with them:
We’ve figured out by now that Libertarians are basically scam artists and criminals… from online cime sydicates right down to petty pumpkin theft… with high minded excuses aplenty:) Yeah, in Libertopia those “property rights” don’t apply to other people’s property. Sounds less like a movement and more like “Lord of the Flies” to me.
lmfao @ butthurt maggots crying about a couple of pumpkins that OP actually paid for and will without a doubt have been the most expensive pumpkins ever. EVER!!
Bitbit is after you
April 16, 2014 @ 3:07 am
Hilarious, as usual 😀
For the folks who can’t afford to suffer the whole playlist, listen directly to the two gems, 1st I got goxed, 3rd Love you like a bitcoin by Kryptina.
“So send me one more bitcoin, maybe…” *whistle*
Antonpoopalous
April 16, 2014 @ 1:54 pm
I couldn’t listen to more than 5 seconds of each lol
After Waterboarding
April 28, 2014 @ 3:30 am
MAKE IT STOP!! DEAR GOD, MAKE IT STOP!!!
kfreed
May 5, 2014 @ 11:58 pm
Oh my… songs even… reminds me of something. Can’t quite put my finger on it. Wait… yes I can: http://www.sheilaomalley.com/?p=9750
Mike Tobias
May 6, 2014 @ 1:32 am
You are a dumbfuck
kfreed
May 6, 2014 @ 2:47 am
When I start trading my “fiat” money for buttcoins, then I’ll be a dumb fuck. Meanwhile, that honor goes, almost exclusively, to Ron Paul sheeplets, who repeatedly line up for fleecing… if bitcoins were printed on paper, you’d at least be able to wipe your arse with them:
“Fool’s Gold”
“Bitcoin is a fantasy. The Internet
Lord William Fitzgerald faunt
October 23, 2014 @ 10:40 pm
Hard to care that much about this story.
Pocket Feature 25
October 30, 2014 @ 9:33 pm
One thousand, nine hundred and ninety words indignantly moralizing over a brief two paragraph Bitcoin-STDH.txt.
I mean I’m definitely cringing and the word “spastic” certainly comes to mind but neither one of those is because of the Reddit post.
kfreed
November 21, 2014 @ 5:56 am
We’ve figured out by now that Libertarians are basically scam artists and criminals… from online cime sydicates right down to petty pumpkin theft… with high minded excuses aplenty:) Yeah, in Libertopia those “property rights” don’t apply to other people’s property. Sounds less like a movement and more like “Lord of the Flies” to me.
ed
March 2, 2017 @ 3:27 am
lmfao @ butthurt maggots crying about a couple of pumpkins that OP actually paid for and will without a doubt have been the most expensive pumpkins ever. EVER!!