Why should I invest in bitcoins?

Don’t.

52 Comments

  1. Lori Whitley
    June 9, 2011 @ 12:43 am

    i cannot wait for butt

    Reply

  2. im gay
    June 9, 2011 @ 2:31 pm

    yes ok

    Reply

  3. Buttface
    June 9, 2011 @ 5:22 pm

    I am a big gay butt and I smell

    Reply

  4. hurrdurr
    June 9, 2011 @ 6:03 pm

    Looks like OP is jelly that he didn’t get in early. I did, and now I have enough money to pay off my student loans~

    Reply

    • Buttcoin
      June 9, 2011 @ 6:31 pm

      You are correct. I am very “jelly”. Do your buttcoins work at buttcollege? Will they also accept payment in WOW Gold?

      Reply

      • D.O.A.
        September 6, 2011 @ 8:48 am

        lol he has no comeback for facts. Digital toilet paper.

        Reply

      • Alex Iturbe
        March 6, 2013 @ 4:11 pm

        Hahaha, if only, right? Bitcoins are indeed a volatile “currency”, but thanks to Mt. Gox, people can exchange that “currency” for real currency, and vice-versa. It’s kind of like laundering your money from the internet. Whether or not it is a silly notion, it’s a little difficult to look at the numbers and not be deeply interested. It’s still very early in the game, and only half of all the Bitcoins have been mined, so what will happen to the value is something left to be seen. Your picture of Bitcoins flying out of that butt is quite funny, but unfortunately cultivating Bitcoins at this stage is a lot harder than even the most strenuous of shits, and we can thank the engineers for that. Since half of the Bitcoins have been mined, the transaction algorithms have become multitudes more intense, and the reward has been halved. When it first started out, it was so easy, an Android phone could poop 3 out every day. Imagine being that one person who stumbled on the concept, found it interesting, and made a few hundred, not really knowing anything of this magnitude would happen. Today, even a supercomputer will be able to mine about as many Bitcoins as a high end gaming PC could 3 years ago. It’s frustrating for people like you and me, people who bust their butts to make our money, to see something so fundamentally simple gain so much value in so little time. If I only knew then what I know now, I would have bought hundreds of BTCs and waited for a bubble like this to sell them off. This bubble will burst, and I can’t wait for it to happen, but it will grow again, and I’ll be there scraping as many as I can while the faith is low. I have no ties to any Bitcoins, save the .0003 that I got from a faucet, so this is coming from an entirely neutral perspective. All I can say is to be less downtrodden on a concept that hopes to bring an anlternative to banking with the corporate world.

        Reply

        • thr33phas3
          March 4, 2014 @ 4:18 pm

          How’s that MtGox working for you now,,.?

          Reply

        • APC
          October 27, 2014 @ 4:29 am

          Mt. Gox?

          Reply

    • shinratdr
      October 18, 2011 @ 11:56 am

      Hope you got out by now, or you’re going to end up with some of the worst student loan debt ever.

      Reply

      • vgpr0n
        December 22, 2013 @ 3:08 pm

        That does not even make any sense.

        Reply

  5. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
    June 13, 2011 @ 11:07 am

    bitcoiin is gay!

    Reply

  6. Internet Sensation
    June 13, 2011 @ 10:51 pm

    And here I thought WoW gold was gay…bitcoins…scam of the future…

    Reply

  7. four tweny
    June 16, 2011 @ 7:22 pm

    thx 4 this

    Reply

  8. butts
    July 10, 2011 @ 1:09 pm

    excuse is there a list of hookers that accept buttcoins? also do the hookers mind if it’s 155 degrees in my bedroombitmining datacenter because i am seriously going to die of heatstroke and id like to get the hooker over really quick before all these fucking things are worthless again

    Reply

  9. TheMisanthropicMeanie
    July 20, 2011 @ 11:05 pm

    That, sirs, is quite the impressive case of fiduciary diarrhea!

    Reply

  10. TheCorporateShill
    September 2, 2011 @ 8:15 pm

    I’m investing all my hedged assets in Buttcoin!

    Reply

  11. hashman
    September 9, 2011 @ 5:00 pm

    Might not want to go in the bathroom anytime soon..

    I left some proof of work.

    Reply

  12. samefag
    January 2, 2012 @ 2:58 pm

    The owner of the website is samefagging the fuck out of his website.

    Reply

  13. John Andersson
    February 17, 2013 @ 5:43 pm

    (make your own xkcd)
    “Actually I built this for a bigger project. I want to explain Bitcoin technically in the form of XKCD comix. This won’t be one-off comix strip. This will be something like wiki/book which will evolve and I hope it will attract other contributors (not necessarily graphic designers).”
    http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5209492

    Reply

  14. John Andersson
    March 9, 2013 @ 8:02 pm

    Reply

  15. Robert
    March 21, 2013 @ 8:10 am

    I bought 1000 when they were 10p each and sold 750 when they reached 25 for the first time. I’m now slowly releasing the rest, probably keeping 10 long term.

    But keep telling me how you’re not jealous.

    Reply

    • Fluxity
      March 21, 2013 @ 9:09 am

      Well, I have an enormous penis so at least I got that going for me.

      Reply

      • George
        December 31, 2013 @ 12:11 am

        I think you have macropsia.

        Reply

    • APC
      October 26, 2014 @ 11:02 am

      Yah, its liek Ima millonaire and I sez to world jaw rich Iam. Derp.

      Reply

  16. Derpington_The_Third
    April 5, 2013 @ 7:17 pm

    I’ve gotten out and am hanging on with a few coins. I’m one of the lucky ones that made about $20k, which I have absolutely no problem paying taxes on, because it was essentially free money.

    It’s Tulip Mania: Electric Boogaloo 2

    Reply

  17. Daniel Ryan
    May 2, 2013 @ 1:31 am

    Thanks. I hear Zimbabwe has a good currency to invest in instead.

    But seriously if you going to invest, only invest what you can lose. I’ve been lucky that I been making a little sum.

    Reply

  18. Jorge
    September 5, 2013 @ 1:04 pm

    Do you have a bitcoin address to donate you for your work?

    Reply

  19. ButtCoinMinor
    November 23, 2013 @ 2:52 am

    I’m so glad I didn’t buy any stupid Bitcoins back in 2011 when I saw this.

    Reply

    • Trooper
      December 9, 2013 @ 2:40 am

      Why? You’re averse to becoming about 850% richer?

      o.O
      That’s very strange.

      Reply

  20. some dork
    November 23, 2013 @ 2:21 pm

    Wonder how many nerdy millionaires are out there now… They’re currently worth about 850$…

    Reply

    • bitchcoin
      December 16, 2013 @ 8:52 pm

      only retards accept bitcoin payments

      Reply

      • Common sense
        December 31, 2013 @ 12:05 am

        Correction: Only retards like you don’t.

        Reply

        • ang
          January 5, 2014 @ 8:04 pm

          because it totally makes sense to accept imaginary money in payment for real goods and services

          Reply

          • Sam
            January 12, 2014 @ 6:05 am

            You’re already using ‘imaginary money’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiat_money

          • matt
            October 22, 2014 @ 10:08 pm

            “Imaginary money” backed by a major national government’s backing and accepting them as payment of taxes, as opposed to “imaginary money” backed only by wishful thinking and libertarian daydreaming.

  21. Strange site
    December 1, 2013 @ 10:31 am

    Why such condescending tone on this site? Bitcon is just a tiny piece of software holding some computermoney that some people enjoy playing with? Spend your time on earth creating something creative and innovative yourself instead.

    Reply

    • Strange site
      December 1, 2013 @ 10:34 am

      HEHE BitCON 😛 Not a good typo to make when defending the currency 😛

      Reply

      • Jonas Namensen
        December 5, 2013 @ 4:24 pm

        Nevermind the Haters strange site. i totally agree

        Reply

    • Robert Kupper
      November 13, 2014 @ 10:03 pm

      Mostly because Bitcoin attracts people with silly ideologies and lots and lots and lots of hilarious scams. Also they take it SUPER SERIOUSLY so its fun to poke them.

      Reply

  22. HLTGRP
    December 8, 2013 @ 12:04 pm

    Funny what lengths people will go to, to satiate their incredible jealousy levels. Cute website. Sorry you missed the gold rush, and subsequent payoff. I just cashed out $80,000 and bought myself a 2014 Range Rover Sport. Hows your investment portfolio looking? Kisses…

    Reply

    • Kizone Kaprow
      December 20, 2013 @ 6:13 pm

      Oh yeah? Well I just cashed out and bought a small country in the Pacific and a 200-foot yacht to get there! And with the money left over I built an infinity pool and filled it with Cristal Champagne! For my harem to swim in. Naked!

      Reply

      • Bobus
        January 22, 2014 @ 7:09 pm

        i cashed out my runescape gp and have my own skull shaped island hows your investment portfolio looking? kisses… my ass bitch

        Reply

    • ang
      January 5, 2014 @ 7:44 pm

      It’s not like there’s a years-long waiting list to actually withdraw real money from any of the existing bitcoin exchanges or anything

      Reply

    • Cap'n Slappy
      February 11, 2014 @ 3:51 pm

      You blew 80k on a hugely depreciating gas-guzzler asset and you fancy yourself an investor? Don’t quit your day job.

      Reply

    • Guest
      February 13, 2014 @ 7:41 pm

      A 2014 Range Rover SPORT hhahaha u fucking poser!

      Reply

    • matt
      October 22, 2014 @ 10:09 pm

      I made more than that last year working at a real job.

      Reply

    • APC
      October 26, 2014 @ 11:00 am

      And counted up to infinite.Twice.

      Reply

  23. xnist
    December 18, 2013 @ 3:19 pm

    http://www.wired.com/wiredenterprise/2013/12/fbi_wallet/
    “Why do people value money… it’s just a piece of paper or metal or plastic or whatever that goes into your pocket.” “banks can just print more money and devalue what you own”

    (about dirty fiat money) “at the end of the day it doesn’t make this currency a good means of storing wealth as over time the value declines”
    Using money is bad, that’s why buttcoins are the future.

    Reply

  24. Tony
    January 29, 2014 @ 8:38 pm

    I made 6800% profit in 2013. By chance I didn’t listen you…

    Reply

    • penis pump
      March 27, 2014 @ 5:34 am

      by chance i didn’t rissen you! *GONG*

      Reply

  25. Snailman
    May 17, 2014 @ 4:08 am

    You would have to be a complete idiot to buy bitcoin, similar in stupidity to Richard Branson, Michael Novogratz, Li-Ka Shing, Jerry Yang, Chamath Palihapitiya, Andreesen Horowitz, Google Ventures, Ycombinator, Accel Partners, General Catalyst, Union Square, Benchmark & Ribbit Capital.

    Reply

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