What are Buttcoins?

What is a Buttcoin?

Buttcoin is a peer-to-peer butt. Peer-to-peer means that no central authority issues new butts or tracks butts. These tasks are managed collectively by the network. It’s like a bitcoin, but with butts instead.

Why call it Buttcoin?

Because butts are funny. And it kinda sounds like Bitcoin.

So, then what is a Bitcoin?

Here’s a great post by someone in Bitcoin’s very own forum.

Bitcoin P2P Crypto-Commodity

OK, so Bitcoin is a medium of exchange. No one can question that. And it seems a very effective medium of exchange.

But is it a currency? Is it money, backed by a store of value to be redeemable from the issuer giving the issuer no option not to accept it to be redeemed? Or is it a secure accounting utility with a user allocated value due to market forces?

Can a Bitcoin site (bitcoin.org) decide individually whether to call Bitcoin a currency or not – because it has a decentralized nature?

Can a Bitcoin site (mtgox.com) decide individually whether to call Bitcoin an internet commodity or not – because it has a decentralized nature?

Can every Bitcoin holder, merchant, trader, etc. decide individually how they interpret Bitcoins?

Does Bitcoin allow for modern day barter transactions between the fairly secure Bitcoin Accounting Utility and a good/service?

See this legal ideas with regards to barter exchange as opposed to virtual currency (Scroll down to the end to Matthew C ‘s answer):

http://www.linkedin.com/answers/law-legal/corporate-law/finance-securities-law/LAW_COR_FSL/46277-12027705

Can Bitcoin be interpreted as an internet utility which can be bartered for any number of goods/services/other?

Is bitcoin.org ‘s blatant misrepresentation of Bitcoin not misleading?

“P2P Virtual Currency
Bitcoin is a peer-to-peer currency. Peer-to-peer means that no central authority issues new money or tracks transactions. These tasks are managed collectively by the network.”

“… no central authority … tracks transactions … ” – Can anyone not track transactions on the blockchain (provided Bitcoin was not laundered – and laundering Bitcoin would be illegal)?

P2P Virtual Currency – Does a currency not require a store of value backing it?

Does Bitcoin’s only value derive from its secure, transferable utility value as an internet commodity described by MtGox? Have we bought an internet commodity that we are bartering for goods/services/other as a medium of exchange? Or have we been issued a virtual currency with a backed store of value – to be redeemed, without option not to accept, from the backing entity on demand?

Would “P2P Crypto Accounting Utility” not be a more aptly description? Would it not be less incriminating to bitcoin.org ‘s author who identifies his Bitcoins as currency – even though it is not backed, or redeemable from an entity, without option not to accept?

And the answer to all those questions is “no”. Therefore all Bitcoins are Buttcoins.

That’s a whole lotta words I’m not going to read, do you have an infograph for me to stare at and furrow my brow in a vain attempt to understand what you’re trying to say?

Sure!

that's you in the middle, dork

I hear what you’re saying, but I’d really like to invest in Buttcoins Bitcoins!

Great, then check out my page called “Why should I invest in bitcoins?

This page sucks and you’re afaggotface.

Email me, comment on a page or hit me up on Twitter.

  • http://malkman Joseph Fablio

    This website has helped spurn on the crash of the bitcoin, I’m taking donations to completely DoS, wipe, and rid the world of this negative shit. Taking donations here – 1kFT3N2gMvjcY3DA4e14PefjLAqFmvxio

    • THE BUTTCOIN GOD

      I will pay you 90k internet dollars. Here you go.

      • theotherjay

        Come on man, you know that internet dollars are worthless! You should be giving him javascript tokens instead!

    • four tweny

      you have my axe

  • http://twitter.com/dickHelicopter richard helicopter

    ^^ lol

  • Cosby

    yospos bitch

  • hurrhurrhurr

    >Make a joke website

    >Anusbruised bitcoin user/HAKUR XTREEM thinks people would give away their buttcoins for inferior and fake bitcoins

    Thatsthejoke.jpg

  • Buttcoin Enthusiast

    I disconnected from THE grid and got in touch with the butt grid. You should too. Buttcoins will change your life.

  • Internet Sensation

    @Joseph Flabio

    I trust a currency where the owners of it try to silence dissent and criticism. Maybe you should be a North Korean Treasurer instead, Joseph “Begging Faggot” Flabio

  • your worst enemy (aka your self)

    “But is it a currency? Is it money, backed by a store of value to be redeemable from the issuer giving the issuer no option not to accept it to be redeemed? Or is it a secure accounting utility with a user allocated value due to market forces?”

    Uhh, and how is this different than the american dollar? Oh that’s right it’s not, except that they can print as many dollars as they want, where as there’s a cap to bit coins and the number generated is proportional to the communities processing power.

    • http://www.buttcoin.com Buttcoin

      I would have to say a nearly $15,000,000,000,000 economy backing it could be something going for the USD.

      Inflation is a good thing for economies BTW, keeps people from hoarding money and actually spend it (which seems to be a major issue in the bitcoin economy. Everyone’s mining, no one’s spending.).

      • Buttgroin

        No, inflation just steers people away from that currency and into others not affected – like gold, for instance.

        • Hrm

          1) On the contrary, Gold can be subject to both wild inflation and deflation. It is unstable due to its finite nature, its ability to be mined, and its difficulty as a easy medium of exchange in a modern economy. Worse yet, it is starting to be physically removed in small due to its use in many manufacturing processes where its not practical to get it back via recycling (e.g. many electronics).

          2) Runaway inflation steers people away from a currency. Inflation itself, in small amounts, is desirable. As Mr. Buttcoin alluded to there, the purpose of money is to facilitate transactions, not to make whoever happens to be holding onto it rich.

          3) There’s also the point that no inflation often means the economy is stagnant. More people with money spending tends to drive up the general cost of goods a bit (inflation), which is actually indicative of a healthy economy. Again, runaway inflation==bad. Some inflation, actually can be be good.

    • asshole

      So basically you’re saying its an inherently deflationary currency, giving bitcoin holders no incentive to actually spend their fake internet play money.

    • UserGoogol

      Dollars are backed by the force of a gun, to phrase it in a particularly libertarian way. You have to use dollars to pay taxes, the government requires lenders to accept dollars as payment, so the government backs dollars in many different ways, just not by the direct method of shoving a bunch of gold in a vault.

      • random4925

        So basically it turns out that a currency backed not by coercion but by voluntary trade is much stronger and valuable. The only reason the dollar is backed by violence is that some people feel they have a right to purchasing stuff even though they don’t produce anything and that the only way they can full fill this wet dream is by forcing the people who produce to use a specific currency. I have a big surprise to you: If the producers had free choice what currency they could sell their produce in they would not chose USD. They would chose a currency free of coercion. Which is exactly why bitcoin is exploding, all sorts of trade and work is nominated in bitcoins and it grows every day. Just like the internet revolutionized communication bitcoins will revolutionize finance. The main reason the internet have been so insanely successful and has grown so fast is because it is literally without any rules or regulation. Bitcoins are the exact same thing for finance. In just two years we have seen a reinvention of forex, stock exchange, futures marked and whatnot done by nerds without filling out a single form. I would prefer anarchy over statism, it is clearly less violent and better organized. There is a major incentive from every productive individual in society to use peaceful currencies.

  • LOL

    Oh you mean $55,000,000,000,000 that the United States is in debt with? Good thinking. Inflation may be a good thing, but not at the rate that it’s at in the United States.

  • Vincent Valdez

    Suddenly I’m reminded of that episode of South Park where the boys are trying to raise internet money to pay off Canada.

    I wonder how much funnier that ep would have been if the internet dollars were changed to bitcoins.

  • http://www.lolcoin.com LOLCOIN

    https://twitter.com/#!/lolcoin/statuses/89857888645955584

    What are Buttcoins? Outdated.

    lolcoins are the next generation of fake virtual currency. Backed by laughs, not farts.

  • http://mstgal.proboards.com/ amardkcihc

    i wonder what would be the best win-win or win-abled solution for gaining bitcoins OR good ‘ol cash ?? invest or build or promote or generate or ???

    i will be very interested to do a JV or pay ( invest ) outright for the “best” deal

  • hashman

    LOLz

    comedy gold has spiked again, thanks Shitoshi!

    I would donate some lube from my buttphone wallet
    but I don’t see your assdress

    – Butt Cosby

  • Anonymous

    Wow, you guys must waste so much time and energy bashing bitcoins while ignoring all the good things happening to it.

    • http://www.buttcoin.com Buttcoin

      Please, enlighten us.

      Also, quit spamming all my pages.

      • ithinkerer

        What’s your bitcoin address? I would like to donate some bitcoins to you! :)

        • Fluxity

          Why would you ever think I’d own a single bitcoin?

          • ithinkerer

            Just to add to the “epic-ness” of your site! What would be more funny than accepting Bitcoin donations to your website! I’d love to help you set it up :).

          • Fluxity

            It’s my site. I have no use for Bitcoins, I’m all stocked up on beef jerkey and dried strawberries or whatever crap I can buy with them. If you want to send me a sack of gold ol’ American USD or even some McDonald’s gift cards I’ll take that.

          • ithinkerer

            “send me a sack of gold ol’ American USD”
            — Wait, you want a sack of gold or a sack of good ol’ American USD? I guess either one should be fine…

            So, what’s your address? I need it so I can send the sack of USD to you. Now, if you’re concerned that some bozo might see your address and send you a sack of shit, then I’d recommend setting up a bitcoin wallet or an MtGox account, then give me the bitcoin address so I can send you some bitcoins without having to worry about shit. You can sell those bitcoins on MtGox and get some good ol’ American USD for them, it’s totally cool! Just think about it: I send you buttcoins and you get good ol’ American USD!!! AMAZING!

          • Fluxity

            Jesus Christ I don’t want your butt bucks give it a rest

  • borscht

    who invests in anything at all anymore?

  • Zhu Bajie

    Here in China there is something called Hell Money. It’s paper bills, “ingots”, etc., which you buy, then burn on certain holidays, to give your dead relatives some spending money in the after-life. The bills are fun, they have Yama King of the Dead’s “portrait” on one side, in imperial robes, and on the other the words BANK OF HELL. Best of all, it’s bad luck to keep in the house, so you can send it to your enemies (like Pat Robertson) and they are not only horribly insulted but get bad luck, too!

  • Brian

    Are buttcoins similar to ass pennies? What’s the conversion rates? I gotta get rid of these ass pennies.

    • JohnBill

      Brian, hold on to those ass pennies, you don’t know how much power you’re just going to throw away.

      • Sausage dog prime

        On the contrary JohnBill, what makes Ass penies powerful is that they are in another mans hand. Unlike Bitcoins, you gotta spend them.

        And you cant put a bitcoin up your ass. They will never be powerful.

  • DrEvil

    I must have 1,000,000,000 Buttcoins.

  • John Andersson

    Any differences between buttcoins and penny stocks?
    Seem to work exactly the same: buy,spam,sell. Apart from one going in the spambox and the other making me stabby.

  • Pingback: Buttcoin Reader Douche.. er, Mailbag of the Month! - Buttcoin - The P2P cyrpto-currency for butts. - Buttcoin - It's Bitcoins with Butts! - Buttcoin.org()

  • mandrakeweb

    HAHAHAH Furrow their brows, in a vain attempt to understand the situation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/siaabd Sia Abderezai

    I’d take it more seriously if there were not a billion ads around the website. Good call trolling people into trolling and the internet to get angry, thus fueling traffic, leading to more ad revenue. You should also accept bitcoins. For lulz.

    • http://twitter.com/ButtCoin Butt Coin

      There are exactly 3 ads on this entire website and I earned a cool 43 cents today in ad revenue, not even covering the cost of the domain and hosting. But hey, why should anyone get compensated for their work right? I could just mine me some free money from thin air!

      • http://www.facebook.com/siaabd Sia Abderezai

        Good luck buying an asic with “free money.” 43 cents sounds like crap. But hey, if you had .43 btc that would buy you a dennys breakfast worth of meals. Just sell it at the right time of day. You are of course entitled to your opinion. I got a good chuckle, good luck striking it rich with the ads (I really do wish you prosperity over dying in a corner shivering, whatever gets you there.)

      • Someone Reasonable

        “I could just mine me some free money from thin air!” It’s not really as easy as you seem to think.

        Bitcoin mining involves real risk and probably won’t make you much money. Attempting to mine with your CPU or GPU wouldn’t cover electricity costs. Even with an ASIC, you might never make your RoI. (Initial investment on ASICs, by the way, should be measured in BTC. If you meet RoI in USD, but not BTC, you won off of speculation, not mining.)

        And if you’re thinking you can have your miner tack on a few zeroes to the mining reward, think again. That block would be immediately rejeted by everyone else.

  • bitz23

    can’t believe this guy pays a monthly fee for this site

  • fukurlife

    FAGOTTTTTTTTTTTTT…….FFFFFAAAAAAGGGGGOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!! LMAO LEWIS CK

  • chodeholder

    >buttcoin.org
    >not butthurt.org
    lol

  • I Want a Fedora

    YU Jelly? U commie or something? We need bitcoins and we need to all have guns, lots of big guns. Live off of the grid and take down all the major corporations. Power everything from solar and wind. Grow our own food. No more bowing down to our corporate masters and begging for their scraps. No more cowering in fear of fascist police violence. No more perpetual war and killing and raping children. We can feed ourselves, get our own electricity, defend ourselves with guns, as long as we have bitcoin!!! We can get on with the business of burning down this fucking planet as free people, not slaves.

    • Fluxity

      Dammit I really hate when school lets out for the summer.

      • the truth

        Says the child who can’t see the wood for the trees! What an absolute bell end you are. Go eat you Mac Donalds slop while its still open you brainless moron! Just because you can’t see what’s going on and listen to the main stream media, doesn’t mean we all do! Intact, 90% don’t now, why do you think there closing shit down now! Its been fun everybody, good luck in these dark times coming…..

  • niga222

    bitch if it sounds too good to be true dont do it

  • MikeDH

    If there really is an international banking cabal that controls all commerce on planet Earth, then I doubt Bitcoin will stop them. Bitcoin like anything else is only worth someone’s willingness to accept it as a medium of exchange. Can’t pay taxes with it, so you’ll have to convert it if you want to keep your property, which still keeps sovereign currencies relevant. Plus, banks have merchants in the palms of their hands with VISA/MC/Discover/AMEX – and they can easily incentivize most retailers to refuse Bitcoins.

    Besides it should tell you something when the Bitcoin billionaires cash out for real dollars, and it takes real dollars to buy Bitcoins – kind of like people trying to sell me gold because my dollars are worthless, yet they want to give me all that “valuable” gold for these “worthless” dollars….umm, OK, right.

    It just seems like a bunch of children raised in the fantasy worlds of video games wanting so badly to bend physics in the real world too, so this is the kind of shit you get when everyone is praised for mediocrity and gets a trophy for showing up. Who knows? Who fucking cares? I have enough real money.

  • Heavyoak

    give me coins 1MNhR3A5487zbGTzedjBwjZwefjbiDXdHo

  • palestinian atheist

    PMSL this is the funniest thing I’ve seen. Peer to peer butt. Pure comic gold!

  • http://www.alfidicapital.com/ Anthony J. Alfidi

    This site is awesome. Here’s my take on why Bitcoin is a joke. Anonymous digits are not trustworthy as currency. Crypto-currencies invite criminality online and don’t work in the real economy. Wake up, fellow nerds. http://alfidicapitalblog.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-serious-disadvantages-of-bitcoin.html

    • Reason

      “Crypto-currencies invite criminality online and don’t work in the real economy.”

      Says who? You?

      My friend, function is dictated by the market, not by your emotional misgivings. If there’s supply and demand for Bitcoins, and it’s being successfully used to buy and sell goods and services (which is happening more every month), it “works.”

      • Fluxity

        Please tell me any popular, mainstream sites that accept Bitcoins as payment and have any type of meaningful revenue with them. BitPay doesn’t count, I’m talking actually accepting Bitcoins themselves.

        • Someone Reasonable

          Maybe *you* should list an example of any popular, mainstream websites that accept dollars. PayPal, Swipe, credit card, and banks don’t count; I’m talking about accepting the paper dollars themselves. And don’t forget that it has to be a website!

          • Fluxity

            Wait, why does it have to be paper currency? Why are you completely ignoring the entire credit and debit card industry.

            Credit, Debit and Dollars are all a representation of USD. They are all accepted as a valid currency backed by the United States government no matter the payment method.

            Bitcoin is supposed to the be the currency of the future. Not pegged to any currency. Not an investment vehicle. Supposed to free us from the shackles of the banksters and the corruptions of the world..

            Except every single news story about “X company takes bitcoin!” is just a company who takes bitcoin through an intermediary and immediately converts it to USD. No company wants to take part of your bitcoin economy.

        • mkgaley

          I think that if the bitcoin has been even mentioned on the forbes website, it has a value in the outlook for the future.

          http://www.forbes.com/sites/jonmatonis/2013/05/24/top-10-bitcoin-merchant-sites/

    • Wooxer Pt

      Tell that to the banks first (credit card, paying bills online or at atms, etc…) then get back to me.

  • Charles

    You guys should be feeling like a bunch of morons now :)

    The stupidity on this website was hilarious and enjoyable to read. Where can I donate some Bitcoin?

    • nigfag

      Now who’s a moron :3

  • Someone Reasonable

    Does anyone mind elaborating on the point about bitcoin being for “people who know nothing about math” (from the infographic)? The author fails to do so, and digital signatures and hashing algorithms are based on well-established sound mathematical concepts.

    • Anonymous1

      Defacating is also based on sound mathematical concepts or it wouldn’t work right. He’s not saying the math doesn’t work, he’s saying it doesn’t offer any reason for the existence of bitcoin, all of these things can be done using standard currencies much better.

  • jbooms

    u stold my idea u bastard!!!! u know who i am, u owe me money u stoner!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Edinthehead

    We cant manipulate the real stock market without being thrown in the slammer faster than a cat can lick its but, so lets create one out of thin air :)

    I invite all of you to study the stock markets of the 20’s and before. Pay particular attention to these terms.

    Bull Raid
    Bear raid
    and short selling.

    oh and syndicate, trading pools, and insider trading.

    The SEC exists for a reason. If you look at the numbers and recent events, you can see evidence of the above. I think when its over at the end of the day, there will be a lot of pistols in mouths. Never invest more than you can afford to lose. Know also when its time to quit while you are ahead. It’s all a gamble anyway, as is much of life.

    Treat it as a high risk investment. You play the game you assume the risks, but if you are slick, you just might reap some reward.

    Personally, If I had the windfall of getting a bitcoin, I would cash it in for USD on the first good uptick, as it really would’ve cost me nothing anyway. Nothing that makes something is an interesting concept :) What are they going for now, $490 US? Let some other sucker buy em’ and end up holding the bag.

  • Buttsforbuttcoin

    How can buttcoin be a peer to peer butt yet also be a peer to peer cryptocurrency for butts? Wouldn’t this cause an infinite loop in the peer to peer system?

  • HamWallet

    Where do I download the wallet? I would really like to run my full node on the peer-to-peer buttwork.