As the price of Bitcoin trundles to new heights, more and more people are looking to cash in their Beenz and run like Hell before exchanges vanish or are “hacked,” and are finding it to be a rather daunting task. With the popular Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange taking almost two yearsto allow withdrawals, Bitcoiners are turning to smaller exchanges that are ill-prepared to handle the volume, small-potatoes ATMs, or shady parking lot deals made through LocalBitcoins.

We’re here today to detail the story of a man in Canada who happened to mine some Bitcoins back when CPU mining was possible, then forgot about them until the hype started to bubble the price unsustainably. This adventure is proving to be a little more difficult than expected. Here is his story so far, as outlined by SA Forums goon UberJumper:

I just learned my coworker has bitcoins from 2010. He apparently has spent most of the week trying to figure out how to convert them into USD. Mt Gox apparently wants an insane amount of personal information and even then he has to be added to a waiting list to even get any money out, and even then there is apparently some stupid low limit. But he sold some through Mt Gox, and estimates ~3 months before he can get any money out of it.

Trying to sell the coins in person, and basically saying he ether wants Cash, or a Cashiers check (since it can be handed over right then and there), has apparently been a hilarious clusterfuck.

Today he met some guy infront of his bank, and apparently as soon as he mentioned that he needs to get the cash checked to make sure it is not counterfeit, the guy freaked out and basically walked away. Stuff like this has been happening all week, and he apparently so far has only sold a single coin of several hundred.

Even more hilarious, there is apparently a place here that will buy your bitcoins from you. According to him on their site, they offer prices that are less than Mt Gox, so he tried to go in to sell them. Only to be told they will only offer 150$/coin.

Bitcoin is the currency of the future right guys?

The consensus here was “take the money and run.” Not so fast!

I would do that as well, however according to him they don’t give you the money on the spot they take the coins and then send you the funds through a wire transfer. Which means no ESCROW, given how scammy bitcoin is i think he choose the better idea.

Also apparently almost all of Gyft’s Gift Cards are not valid outside of the united states.

He’s already got funds in MTGOX, but it, of course, has problems.

Apparently he already has a 6 digit sum sitting on Mt Gox, and he is fine with giving them his personal information, which apparently can take a couple of weeks to get verified.

He is apparently scared of leaving a large amount of money on some of the other exchanges mostly because he is worried of “What if it disappears?”. He is fine with giving them his personal information, and he is willing to pay taxes/do paper work. He just wants his filthy real money.

I’ll let him know about bitstamp, he is Canadian though, the entire process so far from what i can tell has been a massive headache. I do know tonight he is apparently meeting someone who is willing to give him 500$/coin, so i have a feeling he will end up lying in a ditch somewhere.

This leads to their first experience with LocalBitcoins:

I just got back from accompanying my friend, to meet someone who wants to buy bitcoins. So we go to Starbucks, and wait for this guy who is apparently willing to pay 500$/coin, and wants 50 coins. The buyer shows up, wearing a decent suit, buys me and my friend coffee (with filthy fiat of course), and starts talking about how he buys local bitcoins and puts them on the major exchanges (I asked him if he considered himself a Captain of Industry, and got a weird look ).

Everything was going well, until the buyer tried to write my co-worker a check. Not a cashiers check, just a plain old check that will bounce if there isn’t enough money . Which according to him is apparently as “good as a cashiers check”. He didn’t want to use an ESCROW service, and his “feedback on localbitcoins.something is all we needed to see that he is legit”. Because you know an exchange valued at 25,000$ obviously you can just trust the guys feedback. We left pretty fast.

My coworker is going to try to use bitstamp and see if he can get his money out.

*EDIT* I just realized how completely and utterly stupid this is. Who the fuck does an exchange valued at 25,000$ in a Starbucks? Shouldn’t something like this be done with Lawyers, or Accountants present? Some sort of professional service to handle exchanges like this?

Obviously this wasn’t kosher, but they were willing to give it another try.

I am supposed to go with my friend soon to meet another Captain of Industry, to try and sell 25 butts at 300$/coin. He is apparently paying cash, and has agreed to meet us at a bank, and has agreed to have the cash verified as legit.

Bitcoin is supposed to be worth 800+ according to mt gox, yet getting someone to pay even half of that value in real life is apparently too difficult.

While we waited for an update, our beleaguered heroes were informed of the ease of cashing out via Coinbase:

Guys getting money out of bitcoin is super fucking easy, according to a goon who PM’ed me said i should use coinbase, and can just drive to the US and open an account. The steps involved from what i can tell are:

1. Drive to the US
2. Open a bank account with a bank there
3. Drive home
4. Sign up for Coinbase, give them all your personal information, and wait until your verified.
5. One of the verification steps is:

Complete A Purchase – Buy some bitcoin and wait at least 30 days

6. Ignore all these coinbase horror stories of that are on reddit right now.
6. Sell your coins
7. Since coinbase has no fees* they will take 1% of your money if you try to cash out.
8. Have the US Bank wire it to your other account (who knows what kind of fee it is!)

CURRENCY OF THE FUTURE

Success!

My friend managed to sell 5 of his butts at 400$/butt! So he bought everyone in our group lunch .

Also apparently when you fail coinbase’s identity verification it locks you out for 24 hours.

Someone wasn’t paying attention and suggested LocalBitcoins.

What my friend told me is that a large number of people on localbitcoins, wanted him to use something like paypal, or moneypak codes. Then kindly asking people who want to pay cash to meet at a bank, to verify the cash is not counterfeit, also apparently causes a lot of people to nope right the fuck out of there.

He can’t use gyft and cash out through giftcards because unfortunately the vast majority of the giftcards do not work in Canada.

He sold some on mt gox, and he is apparently in some cashout queue, with no real indication of how long until he can take his money out. Coinbase doesn’t let you use non american accounts to cash out. He is currently trying to get verified on VirtEx.

“Trust me.”

My friend and I went and contacted a buyer on localbitcoins, and met with him at lunch. The buyer was offering 600$/coin in cash according to the listing, and was willing to buy up to 25 coins.

My friend showed up, the buyer instead insisted on paying the entire amount in Amazon giftcards (50 bucks a card, and had a small plastic shopping bag just filled with gift cards).

I asked him how do we know the gift cards are activated? “Trust me”.

Nope.

The score so far?

He has cashed out (as in he has money in his possession and can use it) of 11 bitcoins so far i think (this is over 2 weeks). He sold 30 odd coins on Mt Gox, and is trying to cash out (he is in some sort of retarded queue and apparently there is a limit of how much money you can take out per withdrawal).

My friend is still trying to get Virtex to do anything. He filled in information and sent them all the information required, and is basically waiting for them to consider him verified. They also have a 3.0% fee on selling apparently.

Also apparently they charge you a 50$/month if you do not do anything with coins/cash on their system.

ARTICLE 13 – DORMANT ACCOUNTS
13.1 If you have not executed a trade with your VirtEx account for more than 1 year your account will be considered inactive. VirtEx will charge an inactivity fee of $50 per month up until such a time when the account balance reaches zero. BTC balances will be converted to CAD to pay for this fee, as required.

And finally:

Well this is an improvement:

Hello,

I am interested in purchasing Bitcoins and i am willing to pay $500.00 per BTC. Payment would be provided in the form of bullion gold bars of equivalent value.

Would this be a suitable exchange rate for you?

What the Christ indeed. For anyone left paying attention, cashing out in any appreciable way is a disaster, and you won’t get anything close to the “value” quoted on the various exchanges, which isn’t terribly surprising given that they seem to be subject to manipulation and in no way represent what people are actually receiving for their pogs. If UberJumper and his Bitcoin millionaire pal manage to get anything more out of the system, we’ll let you know.

The post It’s So Easy appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

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these type of threads are BULLSHIT

we have always honored our refund requests but a thread like this basically just kills my business

Ask yourself this question:

Do you want a nice friendly refund as we have been giving or do you want to completely put me out of business?

because if you completely put me out of business than you are going to have to come to NY to take me to small claims court.

ask yourself this question, do you really want to come to NY to take me to small claims court? or do you just want to wait your turn and quietly get your requested refund as hundreds of people already have. Keep with the mob mentality its only going to keep you separated from your money longer.

this thread is bad for anyone seeking a refund, and the mods need to take notice and remove threads such as this.

HELLO CUSTOMERS
this is not good for you. Please stop.

im reporting this to the mods myself – I encourage others to do the same.

-Tom

This occurred throughout multiple threads on the Bitcointalk forums.

all CC refunds are processed immediately

if you do a chargeback it will take MUCH longer (just the way the process works)

all refund requests should be sent to [email protected]

there is no delay in CC refunds – only short delay in BTC refunds because we need to buy more BTC

too bad threads like this ruined what could of been one of the best opensource ASIC based miners available.

Go send your money to BFL

blocks will be 12.5 a piece by the time you receive your device

im gone for the night

just KNOW THIS

this is a FUCKING SHAME in the worst kind

we have a completed design and wafers that are nearly completed and chips packaged
all this is grinding to a halt due to mob mentality and massive refunds
i had a good friend who literally has millions of bitcoins step in and say he would save the project

well threads like this have encouraged 90% refund rate, so guess what happens now

I will be forced to sell 16,000 packaged Brute force SHA-256 Bitcoin mining chips to a single buyer who will no doubt use them for their own mining purposes, I dont want to do it but I will have to just to pay the refunds. This mob mentality may be the end of Bitcoin. We will see what this person does with these 16,000 ASICS. but just use your imagination

He’s taking his bits and he’s going home!

this whole project has been ruined by internet trolls, heresay and bullshit

and i dont have the mental energy to carry it forward

im selling the chips
and the design if I can
and im moving on with my life

bye.

Sorry pal, Bitcoin has been a joke since day one.

For Sale : 16,000 Brute Force SHA-256 ASICS – PACKAGED AND READY TO GO
EMAIL [email protected] TO DISCUSS PRICE

THIS IS NOT A JOKE

EACH CHIP DOES ROUGHLY 4.5 GH/S
PRICE IS NEGOTIABLE

This is all vehemently denied shortly afterwards:

Cablepair’s account is compromised. Please treat any correspondence with him as fake until we can confirm that he has obtained control back to his account.

And of course everything’s been hidden away so nobody can see the public freakout. Presumably the sack full of chips is no longer available for purchase.

EDITED TO ADD: bASIC is throwing in the towel for good.

First I want everyone to know – that all that nonsense that was posted on the Bitcointalk forum last night was not me. In fact I have not been on that forum in quite a while. My forum account was compromised and some people had some fun with it. I can’t even get into the account now – so I am assuming that the admins checked the IP address and realized it was not me posting like a madman and locked my account for me. Either that or the intruder changed the password on me. Either way please DO NOT trust or believe anything that has been or is being posted by my Bitcointalk forum account. I plan to email theymos in a few moments to get my account back – I will update you when I once again have control over the account.

Many people have contacted me about buying these 16,000 chips – God I wished I had them, but I am sorry that post was not made by me and I do not have 16,000 chips to sell. I have to pay the second part of the deposit to receive the chips and I am not sure I will even be able to do that – although I am not giving up on the notion. I decided to not accept the loan that was offered to me to keep this company going. With a 90% refund rate there really is no point.

EVERY SINGLE CUSTOMER WILL BE REFUNDED. PERIOD.

I have the list of BTC Refunds and should be making those today.
All other CC orders will automatically be refunded today.

I hope you can please accept my deep apologies, I thought I could pull this off but it was just too much of an undertaking for me, I feel ashamed and embarrassed and I am so sorry that I could not come through for you. Everyone will receive their refunds. As a matter of fact I am starting on them now.

This will take a little time, we are talking thousands of refunds. I wish there was just a “refund all” button but unfortunately there is not one and I have to do this manually.

this forum will be locked from this point forward – if I need to tell you anything else I will post again otherwise you will not hear from me – your refund will come automatically and theres no reason for communication.

The post bASIC overheats, releases magic smoke appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

There’s really little chance of it ever coming back above that price point. Here’s the all-time chart, this is by far the largest selloff in Bitcoin’s history happening right now.

And just for fun, here’s another graph:

Remember when I called the peak at the beginning of June? I got so much shit for that.

The post Bitcoin crashes below the $5 mark, loses 35% of it’s value, MASSIVE selloff today. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Someone decides they want to be an internet million, sells off 135k of bitcoins, becoming a millionaire off the backs of broke nerds.

What happens when you place a sell order that large in a market that volitile? It drops like a fucking rock.

Woah, nelly. And it seems to be dropping and dropping more and more every minute.

The currency of the future!

BTW Mt. Gox stands for “Magic the Gathering online exchange”. That is the larget bitcoin marketplace, a discarded MtG site.

The post The buttcoin crash begins appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.