I want you to read the following block of text without thinking about how well your day is or isn’t going. This will induce spastic cringes so powerful your sleep apnea will be cured.

The title of this Reddit post is “I just forced a business to accept bitcoin whether they wanted to or not.” The author is unknown, since, as you can see in the picture below, the [deleted] tag is where the name would be (We think its this guy), presumably after the negative shit he got from this post. Here’s the full text:

So today I took my kids to the pumpkin patch. It was a family farm and there were about 100 kids there. So it was nice, kids found their little pumpkins and were happy. Then I go to pay. Well I waited for 15 minutes, but nobody came to take my money. I walked to their house and there was a phone number there to call if nobody was around. Called it twice, left a message. Still nobody came out to take my money. I waited a total of 35 minutes and I don’t believe in stealing, but I’m not about to sit in a car for 30 minute car ride home with a 3 year old and 5 year old screaming at me as to why I left their pumpkins there, so I took them without paying.

Got home, found the farms email address and emailed them payment in bitcoin from coinbase. If they accept bitcoin next year, I’ll go back and buy more pumpkins. If not, fuck them, they will probably be out of business anyway since nobody was manning the register for a full 35 minutes(or longer)

Just in case there was any doubt, here’s the original post.

There are many things fucked up about this story. Here’s a short list, and feel free to add in the comments below if I missed anything:

1. Has this guy never been to a restaurant with a shitty waitress, and, instead of waiting for her to take your card, you just went up to the front desk and paid the guy at the register? There are ways around the problem of no one manning the register. One Redditor commented

brycey06
they didnt have a mailbox you could put your money through?

He could have just left the money there, as well. I don’t think anyone would steal the cash, especially if the guy had left a note saying “You weren’t here, I saw a price list, here’s your money, Love, Dave” or something. But if you think it might have been stolen, he could have left the cash in some odd nook and�cranny, and emailed them to say�”You weren’t there, the cash is behind the rosemary” or whatever. There are multiple ways to be a good person.

2. What the hell were his kids doing this whole time? He said he waited 30 minutes. During that time, were the kids with him? If so, did the kids see Dad here steal the pumpkins? What the fuck kind of example is that?!

pm_me_pasta
Good example to show your children.

“No one’s here so we’ll just steal the pumpkins, kids!”

You could have made this a lesson in ethical behavior that they would have remembered. Oh well.

This guy is right. You could have tried to pay and taught your kids “This is the right thing to do”. I thought that’s what you libertarian and/or Freeman of the Land types were all about: Integrity, respect, honor, pulling yourself by your bootstraps, etc. You threw your battle-hardened ideals out the rear window for some pumpkins? The fuck kind of movement is this?

3. The farm did not accept Bitcoin, yet you paid in Bitcoin. User “pm_me_pasta” summed it best:

pm_me_pasta
Couldn’t agree more. From the farm’s point of view:

“Hey mom and pop pumpkin farm, no one was attending your register so I helped myself to some of your stuff. Don’t worry I’ll pay you later in Japanese yen.”

Assuming this is a working farm, they don’t have time to figure out what a Bitcoin is, let alone get payment for it. I know CoinBase, its where I keep my BTC that I have no idea what to spend it on, but sending and receiving payment are two completely different experiences.

If your sending, say to your bank account, it takes me 3-5 days to get it transferred. If I’m sending it to Silk Road to score some smack, its 10 minutes. If your sending it to that farmer, he has to set up a CoinBase account, then his bank info (With Routing Number, Bank Number, Account Number, etc.), then wait for the bank to be verified, which can take 2 days for them to do that thing where they send you some pennies and you see what the exact amounts were. Then converting it from BTC to USD takes 3-5 days.

That’s 7 days to receive payment. YOU COULD HAVE JUST KNOCKED. Which brings me to my next point.

4. WHY DIDN’T YOU KNOCK? There was 100 other kids there, it was a well kept family farm. You mean to tell me you went to one spot and waited for half an hour, and that’s it? I understand, they should have been there, that is a point against them, but they had to have been somewhere! Its a family farm! Go to their front door, they won’t mind you bothering them! Your giving them money! And even if you are bothering them, like they’re having a family emergency or something, you ask where you can leave the money. Or your just leave the money by the register with a note of what you took. Or you leave without pumpkins, and tell your kids you’ll come back later. But you don’t steal! Why the fuck did you steal the great pumpkins?!�Did Linus put you up to this?

“Did you get the pumpkins, lil’ bitch?”

5. There was a phone number, you called twice and left a message. With all we have established, you could have, from that point onward, been polite enough to say in the message anything we have suggested here. But assuming your a smart guy, which, from what we’ve seen, you aren’t, there is another option: Just leave.

Leaving could have fixed two problems:

1. I wouldn’t have had to have written this!

2. Your kids could have learned a lesson.

But you didn’t want to waste gas! That’s why you stole, because your kids were miserable without the pumpkins!

Your kids went to a farm with “a hundred other kids”, had a blast, and might have a great memory of their dad getting them some pumpkins to carve later. But when they find out�that you stole them, that memory is going to be tainted.

The reason we think user “peilthetraveler” is the original poster is because of this comment:

peilthetraveler
Yeah, probably should have just left the pumpkins, I would’ve had to suffer with 30 minutes of screaming kids, then I would’ve got home and been so pissed that my time was wasted i would’ve got on yelp and dragged their name through the mud, plus since its a small town, got on facebook telling everyone how bad the customer service was, cost that farm hundreds of dollars worth of business(maybe more because once I told everyone there was nobody manning the cash register all the “real” thieves would’ve come out of the woodwork to get the easy pickin’s) and then we all suffer greatly.

At least my way, they got their money, my time and gas wasn’t wasted for nothing and kids are happy. It was the lesser of 2 evils.

This guy makes it sound like he’s in control of everything here: If he does get his way, the kids love him, he didn’t waste his gas, and they have pumpkins, which kids love, cause its like legal stabbing.

If he doesn’t get his way, though, no problem, since he can do a negative review on Yelp and cost them hundreds! Then go on Facebook! And then we all suffer greatly, cause where else am I gonna steal pumpkins next year! I’m such a sadist!

“Bend over.”

Also, he implies that if he had bitched about the farm and its lo 30 minutes+ of unmanned register control, the “Real Thieves” would steal straight from the unmanned register, because that’s a thing that happens.

2 points I want to make here:

1. You stole. You may pass it off as “I paid in Bitcoins, whether they like it or not”, but they don’t accept it. Like I covered earlier, its hard to get that money if you’ve never been set up to accept Bitcoin before. And to any business, revenue is important. So they have lost money on you taking product, ergo, you stole. You had 30 minutes (Or longer, since you weren’t being rushed) to put money down, and you didn’t. You can claim “Bitcoin!” until your blue in the face, but meanwhile the farmers you stole from are�out whatever they charge (Lets say $5 a pumpkin), which does add up, over time. To offset that, they may need to charge extra on a few other units, because that’s how stores offset the costs of stolen merchandise.�You robbed them, and they’re the bad guys?

2. When I said earlier “Just leave the money on the counter with a note”, I mean that. No one is going to steal that money. There’s 100 loudmouth kids there. Assuming they didn’t all get there on their own in a massive horde of toddlers, their parents are there. And the average Joe that would take their kids to a pumpkin patch has enough moral lessons and ethics to see a note on the table or just cash and not take it. The only people who would do that are lowlifes who steal. And, as we have seen in point one, that’s you.

This guy�had no control here. He took the worst possible avenue. And things weren’t going to go that horrible “I’m going to post on Yelp, and I hope they lose $10 billion trillion quadrillion dollars because I had to wait for 30 minutes while they milked cows or something” direction either, because it doesn’t work.

When Amy’s Baking Company was on Kitchen Nightmares, its Yelp rating was one of the things they bitched about the most. Its what got them on the show. Yet look at it now: 3 star rating. Its never been a question of it being a shitty place, its not. It looks nice, the food is decent at worst and fantastic at best. Gordon Ramsey said it was a pleasure to be there when he did his inspection of the place. The problem wasn’t the food, it was the owners shitty attitude and behavior! And yet, despite the beating they got, they’re still open. That is one of the worst examples of Yelp being used to “Take down” someone, and they’re still fucking here. If the whole fucking internet, with all its lethargic muster, couldn’t bring down Amy’s Baking Company, then you can’t bring down “Fuckin’ Pumpkin’ Inc.” because they weren’t there to complete a transaction. And, again, your the asshole here, because your the one that stole.

6. What the hell possessed you long enough to get onto Reddit and brag you ripped off a family farm. Did you seriously think that was going to go well?

In the words of Bill Maher:

“I can’t even think of a suitable analogy for that disconnect. Its like thinking getting a handjob will clean your garage”

Those are just some of the quick thoughts I jotted down. If I missed any, let me know below, so I can steal them and update this article pretending they are my own.

The post Is It Stealing if the Vendor Doesn’t See You Take It? appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Because I’ve been doing more digging�for Bitcoin-related stories, I have certain sources�I tend to go back to. One of them is /r/Bitcoin. It has been one of the best spots�for researching anything I have ever come across for a reporter such as myself. It’s like the all scams, misogyny and bad ideas come right to me! (But I look other places as well, because I’m not lazy, like CNN.)

I have no real opinion of Reddit. I actually kind of like it to be honest even though I personally never used it.�It just seemed like some popular link site that had weird groups like the Bitcoin nuts in addition to being the homebase of the Men’s Rights movement. I got turned off by things like that and�Adrien Chen’s article on�Violentacrez�but now, thanks to BTC, I’m back.

Throughout the time I’ve known of /r/Bitcoin I’ve figured it attracts a lot of newbies wanting to learn about the ‘coin. Seems reasonable, right? It is the first source listed in the “Keeping Up to Date” section on everyone’s favorite Bitcoin Starter site, WeUseCoins.com�(now owned by Butterfly Labs).

In life, there are many things we know we don’t know. There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. But what we do know is that there are�76% of Americans�don’t have a clue what�a Bitcoin is. Either they don’t know its a thing, or they don’t really care. In the same survey linked above, 80% of people said they’d rather have Gold over Bitcoin, probably because Gold is easy to explain and, economically speaking, proven.

But what about those few who genuinely want to know more? What about the men and women�who are genuinely excited about such a interesting concept? Those who want to dip their toe into “The Currency of the Future”? What does the Reddit Bitcoin community, linked to by many of the most prominent Bitcoin introduction sites, do to help them, the newest of newbies, looking for the most “Up to Date” info?

The answer is just harass them, apparently.

Case in point:

There’s an old business adage that says “No company was ever unionized without deserving it”. This means�things need to change but the guys in charge don’t seem to realize that�things are so bad�that�pretty much 90% of our�site’s content�is devoted to�them and their blatant idiocy. So now its time to force some changes.

First lets just be clear: A member of the Reddit Bitcoin community has decided there has been so much�harassment that there needs to be some basic guidelines on how to handle the newbies. So right off the bat things are less Utopian than they have been proclaimed, and more like if the newbies were Snake Plisskin in “Escape from New York”, with everyone just attacking him just because they’ve never seen him before.

Alright. So what’s going on?

Huh. That’s actually a pretty clear�depiction of what’s going on. Although there are so many other things you could have pointed out, in reference to just /r/Bitcoin.

This is going surprisingly well.

Well, you haven’t managed to run anyone off Reddit with the usual Bitcoin-Related insanity, so let’s listen.

Yes. If this rule was followed, they could have 5 more “Adopters”�a year.

Wow, 2 out of 3 so far. Bravo.

I’d just like to point out that this guy’s name is “secret_bitcoin_login“. It took a guy with the username “secret_bitcoin_login” to be reasonable. Good job, guys!

That “By Request” link, FYI, goes to a comment down in the same thread by a guy named “BigBlackHungGuy“. You guys suck with names.

But names aside, these are 4 legitimate, level-headed and, above all else, reasonable requests. However, given the history of the ‘Coin and its cult-like communities’ past PR disasters being basically a string of hilarious incidents�akin to a train crashing and spilling its cargo of dildos next to a row of churches, one car at a time, this is probably going to hit hard.

Now before we continue let me make one thing clear: No, I did not read the comments on the thread. It restored my faith in some Bitcoin followers and I don’t want that immediately destroyed by someone probably named 13-23. This isn’t like the last article�where there’s a string of comments that show “THESE PEOPLE SHUR ARE STUPID!”-esque rhetoric. I want to really look into what’s going on here. And I think I know a good starting place.

Recently in the Buttcoin subreddit�a man posted his story about trying to explain that there are, in fact, people who know about Bitcoin, but don’t really support�it. The top comment, according to him, was that those people don’t exist, a type of mindset the Cult Education Institute calls “Loading the Language“, where easy, memorable and short catchphrases become constricting, to the point that anything outside the “Language” is absurd.

The idea that 76% of Americans don’t know about Bitcoin is to some a laughable statistic in much the same way anti-vaccination crazies, when shown 4 different stories about how not getting vaccinated hurt or even killed people, just strengthened their belief that vaccinations are terrible.�Asterios Kokkinos�had a great quote on Episode 21 of the podcast “The Biggest Problem in the Universe“:

“I believe all these statistics, obviously, but the people that don’t vaccinate their kid are not gonna be convinced by statistics, so it’s like, what the fuck do we do? …Like, I know that on this program, you don’t necessarily talk about solutions, but, like, seriously. What the fuck do you do? You can yell a million statistics. You can get 1,000 doctors.” (Source)

The answer, it seems, is that you can’t do anything. Whether is be�Bitcoin cheerleaders or Anti-Vaccination nutjobs or 9/11 Truthers, there is no convincing people they are wrong or that there is other information they are refusing to see once the language has been loaded.

Therefore, none of the four great suggestions will ever come to fruition because they don’t really “Work” in the context of the language.

So we could show every single example of how embarrassingly easy it can be to scam these guys or how they get arrested for doing stupid things like starting Silk Road and letting a CAPTCHA expose your IP address every time someone logs on yet sticking to your�guns because Bitcoin is right and anything else is wrong. It’s like in “The Dark Knight Rises”, when Bane tells a really hot guy “You stay in this plane that’s about to crash”, and the guy just goes all blue steel on him, melts my heart, then crashes with the plane (~swoon~). Someone not constricted would go at least go “I wanna get out of the plane!” Then die, because Bane gave that person permission to. But at least make an effort! Don’t just let “The Cause” be the thing that leads you to your slaughter! Have a little fight in you!

But Bitcoin is comforting to them now. Anything that goes against it in turn goes against what makes them comfortable. Questioning Bitcoin, therefore, is a major source of discomfort and needs to be remedied ASAP.

In our coverage of the FTC’s case against Butterfly Labs, we showed you documents from BFL’s motion to dismiss that were so glaringly condescending it made me�dry-heave because I was laughing so hard. It was completely unnecessary but there it was. In a legal document, submitted to a federal court, this was presented with the only edits being certain italicized words to really layer on the sarcasm:

If they REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALY wanted to know, they’d just let us continue, like the market demands.

It shows a level of condescension and confidence that is not acceptable in any trial, anywhere, especially when it’s you against the feds. It shows said traits on the same levels as, say, serial killer�Ted Bundy as he defended himself in court. We all knew he was guilty but he was so sure he could use his charm to get out of jail because it worked with everyone else, especially his victims. It didn’t work. Even when his 5 court-appointed lawyers told him to let them handle it he demanded to be his own defense, a move one of his lawyers, Polly Nelson, said

“…sabotaged the entire defense effort out of spite, distrust, and grandiose delusion” (Source)

Same with any clip of Charles Manson. You see him saying insane shit all the time, but have you noticed there is a structure to how he will say something in English, then devolve into babbling nonsense? It seems like he is having bits of clarity, followed by�being pulled back into, well, Mansonland. That’s the language constricting him. And with Manson that constriction by language is so tight that the only words that can come out are gems like “You guys are living a thousand illusions, man!”�Between those two quotes, the one from Bundy’s lawyer and Charles Manson, does the Bitcoin Cult not pop up just a little bit? Especially with Nelson’s “Grandiose Delusion” bit?

When people are trying to learn about this cool thing called Bitcoin and are met with hostility, and then the cult wonders why people hate them, it becomes absurdity! Of course people are going to hate the asshole who, when you ask a supposedly simple question like “What’s a gigahash?” or “Where can I find coins?”, instead of being directed to the Newbie forum, you get called a dick for wasting everyone’s precious time that could be spent studying the philosophy of Satoshi’s masterpiece.

The Loaded Language Bitcoiners work with involves phrases like “Currency of the Future”, “Sheeple”, “Early Adopters” and “Decentralized”. Words that, if strung together enough times, create an atmosphere that tells a Bitcoiner “Anyone who doesn’t know what Bitcoin is must be a fool!”, while everyone else looks at that guy and just goes “Fuck this, I’m paying for my Panera Bread with my Credit Card like an adult.”

There are so many other things that people don’t like about that community of nutjobs, like how everything is the most complicated process that cannot be explained, but these people are pretty much harmless fedora-wearing bronies�who hide behind the veil of Libertarianism like it means something to anyone besides Ron and Rand Paul.

A constricting loaded language has led to the cult of the ‘coin. Some of the members of said cult will read this and deny every word I’ve written and attempt to proclaim their currency is the way of the future.

All I will say is this: Visa has VisaNet, their main network�center, located on the eastern side of the US. VisaNet�can handle 24,000 transactions per second. In�that single second, security measures are put in place to stop fraud, stop risks (like overcharges) and help aid in disputes. They also do a 5 day stress test each summer to flood the network with transactions to make sure it can handle an excess number of transactions like at Christmas time, when everyone and their mother is trying to buy something. 2013’s highest capacity was 47,000 transactions per second. And since they can modify their system for maximum efficiency, everyone, everywhere can use Visa and not have to worry their payment won’t go through due to a technical error.

Bitcoin currently accepts 7 transactions per second. I can’t really provide a source though since all the information I wanted to link to is by the cult. And it’s all wrong. You try to get a legit answer from the cult on just this one thing, why the all-digital currency of the future can only handle a minuscule number of transactions compared to a supposedly outdated system, and all you get are lies. Pre-constructed lies at that because, like all cults, the members cannot think on their own.

The post Why People Dislike the Cult of ‘Coin. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

In a Reddit thread where the Bitcoin community tries an outreach program to understand why someone who understands Bitcoin would still�have a negative view of it, a lone small business owner speaks up (now edited) and offers an insightful opinion on why he doesn’t think that Bitcoin is worth the trouble for his shop:

I am a business owner. My sole interaction with Bitcoin comes from Bitcoin missionaries.

Not a single Bitcoin missionary has come in that hasn’t raised my ire. From being told that it’s “natural for older people to fear technology” (I’m in my 30’s) to being told that Bitcoin will allow me to make “real money”, it’s been nothing but a condescending shitshow of buzzwords.

It doesn’t save me money on credit cards. Don’t bother, I’ve walked through this with them before. But then they say “Well, what about POLITICAL reasons, hmm?”

If I’d listened to the kids who come into my store, I’d be locked into a bunch of $1000 coins lost in Mt. Gox. Then, later, I’d invest in that new business-minded bank, Neo Bee, which would help me with all my commerce needs! Then, to top it off, I could get a Robochain ATM to further bilk my customers.

There’s a never ending swarm of condescending college kids trying to pitch me ideas that end in disaster over and over. I’ve written about them before. Remember the whole “YELP LOVES BITCOIN!” thing? Yeah, I had to scrape those fucking “promo” stickers off my door.

The thing is, like I said, Bitcoin doesn’t help me. But you know how I hear about Bitcoin? From the same type of people that come in trying to get me to sign up for “United Electro Company TO SAVE BIG MONEY!” or “Totally not a scam ATM Company TO MAKE YOU BIG MONEY!”

And, like I said, it doesn’t help that I keep getting pitched ideas that fail. Plus, as much as you guys talk about how it isn’t about the price, you should connect to the guys handing out pamphlets business-to-business.

There is literally no difference in behavior from someone coming into my store trying to scam me, and the Bitcoin people. Same behavior, same pitches, same everything.

So now when an awkward kid dressed in their dad’s ill-fitting suit come ins, dragging a buddy and pamphlets, we play the following game:

Watchtower or Blockhain?

Reddit, in their ongoing effort to seem friendly to newcomers and help them understand the nuances of the technology and�how it can better their lives, puts their best foot forward and respond to common criticisms.

They call him a liar, a troll, and try the same tired schtick he’s just got done explaining that he’s heard a million times before.

[�]jonstern 3 points an hour ago

Bitpay? No risk and you pay 1%. How can you say that doesn’t save you on 3% credit card fees?

 

[�]yourliestopshere 3 points 2 hours ago

This was silly. Not being condescending, just observing. Its okay for a new technology to meet resistance, we should all expect this, but to compare bitcoin to a company that interacts with bitcoin, is entirely different, that is silly, or illogical. I understand your frustration, but if you care for an opinion worth repeating or public, you’d be better off googling more. There is a lack of understanding here, there needs to be clarification. If I can help, just ask.

 

[�]Forlarren 0 points an hour ago

The OP asked for informed opinions, sciencelovesyou doesn’t like bitcoins because of ignorance (admittedly knows little to nothing and doesn’t want to learn for reasons), and an anecdotal experience. Doesn’t exactly qualify but it got upvotes.

 

[�]Forlarren 0 points 41 minutes ago

Yes, ignorance, it’s not a dirty word.

I’m sure you know all sorts of things but bitcoin isn’t it and that’s what the OP asked for.

 

[�]Forlarren -1 points 40 minutes ago

He understands a few things about what he doesn’t like bitcoin, that in no way means he “understands bitcoin”. Even admitted so himself. Not what the OP asked for.

 

[�]Forlarren 0 points 23 minutes ago

Apparently because I told some Jehovah’s witnesses to got off my porch I now qualify as an expert in all things church related.

Either that or the shills don’t understand the OP’s question at all when they upvoted this post.

 

[�]MyDixieWreck4BTC 7 points 5 hours ago

Did you hear the one about being able to communicate with strangers miles away electronically?

 

[�]felipelalli 0 points 4 hours ago

Did you hear “bitcoin is about freedom“? This one is true.

 

[�]ToTheGroundGuy 1 point an hour ago

What sold you on credit cards?

You’re obviously a very strongly opinionated person.

Why do you accept them?

 

[�]dewbiestep 0 points 3 hours ago

If you buy into an insolvent exchange at the height of a speculation bubble, that’s not the fault of the missionaries. Mt gox was an incredibly stupid place to hold money for a year before they bailed. You should do due dilligence before making any of these decisions. But i’m sure the missionaries are annoying, and that alone will turn you away even if they’re talking about a good thing.

 

[�]Forlarren 2 points an hour ago

“But i’m sure the missionaries are annoying, and that alone will turn you away even if they’re talking about a good thing.”

This is a good way to go out of business.

 

[�]Forlarren 1 point 23 minutes ago

Too bad it isn’t what the OP asked for. You are just upvoting a criticism because it’s a criticism you agree with, not one coming from deep understanding of fundamentals that the OP was asking for.

 

[�]Perish_In_a_Fire -1 points 55 minutes ago

This is really a well-crafted astroturf piece. My congrats.

Coming off like a business owner who would’ve single-handedly been “ripped off” by every bad situation in Bitcoin and would have had coins lost on Mt. Gox!

What are the odds? I’d say they’re pretty fucking astronomical. But then again, we’re taking you at face value, aren’t we? We’re also assuming you don’t have any axe to grind against bitcoin in general, that you don’t have a business that enjoys a relatively lax credit-card processing tier – or indeed, does enough business to qualify for one.

I mean hell, for all we know you repair old televisions and typewriters, and couldn’t care less about Bitcoin because none of your clients would understand it.

Your story seems severely skewed. Pro-tip – if you want to sound more credible, just list one or two knocks for why you think Bitcoin won’t help you. It seems you went overboard and decided to go for the gusto – and it seems a bit forced.

 

[�]Perish_In_a_Fire -1 points 26 minutes ago

Hit a nerve?

It would’ve been more believable if you had just stuck to one or two, just remember that for next time. Nobody believes the guy that says he hit every pothole in the road

 

[�]Forlarren -1 points 21 minutes ago

No I agree, you haven’t actually shown any knowledge of bitcoin, just repeated a few headlines and bitched about your (potential) customers.

Anyone leaving coins on Gox automatically means they aren’t the opinion the OP was asking for.

 

The guy was eventually run out of the subreddit and deleted all his posts.

Way to go guys! What a warm and welcoming community!

The post Business Owner sounds off about Bitcoin Missionaries trying to convert him, the flock does not take well to dissenting opinions. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Bitcoin should “market” to kids (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 10 hours ago by Euphorbium
Well, maybe not market, but kids should be educated about it. There should be some campaigns targeting young children, similar to raspberry pi foundation teaching kids to code. Children are not stupid, nor as ignorant as adults, they will understand this if explained correctly and they can influence their parents a lot. If you think this would be somehow unethical, just think about all the crapfood advertisement targeted to children. This would be beneficial to kids, as it would help them understand current monetary system way better. How should this be done? I don’t know, but lets brainstorm. Maybe some bitcoin related mobile apps directed to kids are needed?

Some other Redditors wondered aloud however, what’s so wrong with gambling anyways? You should get your kids hooked on gambling too!

astrolabe 3 points 6 hours ago

I agree that children are a very good use case for bitcoin. They don’t have credit cards, but want to purchase things on the internet. There is a bit of a chicken and egg situation with not much for them to buy (I can think of the humble bundle) and not many kids with bitcoins. Improving either side of this relation would be helpful.
I gave my God son a small amount of bitcoin after explaining the system to him, showed him the transactions and blocks coming in on http://blockchain.info/, and the trades appearing on http://bitcoin.clarkmoody.com/.
I didn’t tell him about the bitcoin gambling sites, but he’s capable of discovering them himself. I’m not sure whether exposing children to gambling is a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe they could become addicted to gambling at an early age, but maybe they will have the experience of losing all their money when it doesn’t really matter, and it will serve as an innoculation.

Lentil-Soup�4 points�5 hours�ago

but maybe they will have the experience of losing all their money when it doesn’t really matter, and it will serve as an innoculation.

So much this. My 7 year old saw me playing Satoshi Circle and asked what I was doing. I explained it to him and he seemed interested. I gave him 100 millibits and let him go crazy. After he was done, he said that it was interesting because it was both good and bad. He said it was good because you have a chance of winning a lot of money, but bad because you will probably lose all of it instead.

Don’t you think it might be a bad idea to introduce kids to gambling, an activity that can trigger all sorts of compulsive behaviors on young malleable minds? That if they lose Bitcoins they don’t just go “oh well, I won’t do that again” and might do as some gamblers do, keep wanting to chase that big score?

Or maybe it’s all part of the plan? Hmmm…

BITCOIN! Get ’em hooked while they’re young!

The post Reddit thinks children should be introduced to gambling as a valuable Bitcoin teaching tool. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

One of the few subreddit I actually subscribe to is naturally /r/bitcoin. The subreddit that was originally owned by infamous bitcoiner Atlas (who tried to sell off the subreddit at one point) has grown quite a bit since it’s inception. In fact, not to toot our own horn or anything, but with only 200+ upvotes, our article on Bruce Wagner was the top post of all time in the Bitcoin subreddit for several months before some shitty image macro complaining about Paypal replaced it. Out of this subreddit a grand idea was born, the Bitcoin Tipping Bot.

The way the bot works is amazingly simple. Just follow these few steps:

1. First know what bitcoin is and get yourself some. I’m not going to explain this part because most people will not get this far.
2. Message the bot /u/bitcointip “SIGNUP”. A bitcoin address will be created for you.
3. Send your bitcoins to this second wallet that you don’t control
4. Tip other redditors by commenting on posts using the format “+/u/bitcointip @username (amount)

That’s all there really is to send bitcoins. Actually receiving bitcoins is fucking terrible for a person who has no interest in bitcoins in the first place. I discovered this first hand when someone tipped me $1 and I tried to claim it.

I posted an article a little while ago titled “Cards against Humanity kindly tells Bitcoiners to please go fuck themselves” which was about the creator of the wildly popular Cards against Humanity game turning down the offer to accept bitcoins and the person who asked ends up being a little bitch about it. Go read the article, I’ll wait.

Eventually someone on Reddit with half a brain posted a thoughtful message to the Reddit community that trying to be snide dicks and forcing businesses to accept your busted funny money maybe isn’t the best way to grow your economy.

The link was posted without context so the OP posted a link to our Buttcoin article. Since I like to namesearch myself on social media in between chronic masturbatory sessions, I decided to jump in and defend myself against people who can’t seem to grasp things like “hobbies” and other non-profitable ventures. The following exchange took place:

Someone, out of the kindness of their heart, took the time to send me a whole dollar just to .. spite me? Shame me? For whatever reason, Reddit loves to throw micro-bucks around Reddit, and they actually consider it to be one of the best validations that Bitcoin is a real currency.

We wrote up an article earlier on the site about how Reddit just loves to wander into different subreddits and “expose people to the value of Bitcoins”. They do this via the Bitcoin tip bot and you can always identify when it’s being used as a quasi-advertisement for Bitcoin via the phrase “Whoa, what just happened�here?“. It’s like they’re reading from a script. Once you see it once you can’t stop seeing it and the constant shilling becomes unbearable. There will frequently be calls to go rush a post’s comment section to do nothing but tip and hype and shill for bitcoins. And the commenters are in it too because if you can get there first or pump Bitcoins�hard enough you too could get a micro Bitcoin sent your way!

I’ve never known what it’s like to actually receive a tip however, and since I now have my shiny new nickel I thought I’d find out what kind of hoops I’d have to jump through to claim this money.

The first thing that happens if you get a message in your PM box on reddit. It tells you who sent you your funbux, how much, and if you want to accept or decline it.

I really like getting money for free so of course I mashed that ACCEPT button with my grubby mitts!

So then it gives me this. I guess the way it works if that you just message back the bot? I really have no idea but I’m a very busy man so I just blindly click the accept button…

And then nothing. After I hit accept that’s pretty much it. There’s no next steps, there’s no “go here to spend it”, there’s not even anything telling me what the fuck bitcoins are. To just hit ACCEPT�and then your bitcoins get shuttled off into some randomly created bitcoin wallet which you don’t own yet.�I wait about 20 minutes to see if there’s any more PMs coming but nothing. I go back to my PMs and click on the little [ABOUT] link in the first one to see if I can figure out what this is all about.

Clicking that link takes you to this page.

Do you see the problem here? This is the documentation for how to operate the bot. This page doesn’t direct you on how to get your money, what a wallet is or does or even what a bitcoin is. It does tell how to fund your tipping account, how to tip other users and other unrelated shit to someone who recieved got 18 cents in internet money.

If you scroll down enough you see there’s a series of commands that you can PM to the bot. It doesn’t specify if these are for send or receiving Bitcoins but what the hell let’s give it a shot. I got some Sour Patch Kids with my name on it at the local CVS and I need to get my $1.

I click the link that says�WITHDRAW�and it sends me to another PM prompt to withdraw my coins from the random wallet they’re trapped in.

WTF is a BitcoinAddress? I go back to the documentation and there’s nothing there about what a bitcoin address is or what I’m supposed to do. I abandon this step for a second and want to make sure my bitcoins didn’t disappear into the ether or that is all just some sort of scam.

I hit the�BALANCE link on the page and get another oh-so helpful PM prompt.

Alright, I send off for my balance and wait some more. Over an hour passes and I don’t see a response from the bot anywhere in my PMs.

Nothing at all, no response. Wouldn’t some website be easier? An account I could create? can’t I just get on this fucking website and get my money already, I got some motherfucking Shaq Soda to buy!

Finally I get a response.

By this time I’ve jacked off like 28 times and I’m ready for bed and don’t really have time for this shit so I decide to jettison my Bitcoins off into the ether instead. I decide I want to send my Bitcoins to the EFF but they wisely declined.

So no can do.

The whole�r/bitcointip subreddit still doesn’t tell me shit so I just google “default bitcoin address” and get this lovely address in return.

1BitcoinEaterAddressDontSendf59kuE

That seems like a good address. I decide to send my bitcoins there to that nice guy or gal can do something great in the world with that money.

Back to the documentation I hit up the WITHDRAW link again.

God speed little Bitcoin!

NO TRANSACTION FEES! So I didn’t really get a dollar because the Bitcoin bot needs a little cheddar to grease his palms. EDIT:It’s actually because bitcoin does have transaction fees. WELP.

I bust out the TI-86, do a little math and figure out I can only send off .0098 Bitcoins instead. Round 2:

Success!

The transaction ends up confirming 4 fucking hours later

Currency of the future!

So why do these idiots still throw this crap around in the comments every chance they get. There’s 2 main reasons why it’s hyped on Reddit constantly.

1. True Believers think that the one and only thing preventing adoption of Bitcoin is that its lack of awareness. They simply cannot fathom a scenario where you present an argument in favor of using Bitcoin over something like cash and not have someone jump at the chance. This is a way to “get the word out” with the least amount of effort possible and if you jump on the hype bandwagon you can possibly make some money in the process!
2. It’s relatively low risk. You see, if your tipee doesn’t claim their Bitcoin in 21 days it goes back into your tipping pool. Wouldn’t it be nice that if you tipped that waitress at Denny’s, she doesn’t spend that $20 $10 $5 $2.80 and instead of her being able to save it for a rainy day, it just found it’s way back to your wallet? That’s how bitcoin works! No chargebacks but we can still have takebacks!

The bitcoin tip bot is really nothing more than an easy way for smug pricks to throw worthless “money” around while they jerk off over each other trying to out-surprise one another for internet nickles.

The post The Reddit bitcoin tipping bot is the worst way to promote bitcoin and the shills won’t shut up about it. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Brettcoin is a peer-to-peer virtual currency that is generated from electrons � �something from nothing� as we say in the money biz! Brettcoin is a testament to the power of the Internet.

Brettcoin can be used to easily fund things like puppy mills, Scientology, terrorism, and �drugs�.

You can�t yet use Brettcoin to buy food, gas, clothing, or other so-called �goods and services,� but trust me � that day is coming! Once the world wakes up and recognizes the incredible potential of Brettcoin and the immediate improvement to quality of life that only peer-to-peer Bretts can deliver, you�ll have made your first million Brettcoins by virtue of being an early adopter!

Instead of appreciating the humor of this, especially regarding to the hypersaturated altcoin market, bitcoiners took to the streets, er, the basement computer chairs to take a stand, absolutely infuriated that Brett would speak ill of the Church of Bitcoin.

First they took to reddit, to call our brave entrepeneur an idiot and to promise they’d never buy services from DreamHost, which takes little effort on their part, since they were never considering it to begin with, instead opting to choose upstanding webhosts who only accept Bitcoin. Others swore they’d leave, but chances are they’ll just stay, since leaving would require effort. Everyone supporting Brett was shouted down or effectively censored with negative votes, so as not to disturb the echo chamber.

Meanwhile, a handful of dedicated zealots confronted him directly on twitter, insulting him, his company, his new altcoin, and generally being obnoxious. Included in this assault was Roger Ver, still apparently being mind-controlled�by the staff of the Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange (Mt. Gox,) who commanded him to call Brett an “idiot” for displeasing the Bitcoin hivemind.

It’s a sad state of affairs when the Bitcoin community is so toxic that it actively stifles innovation. Godspeed, Brettcoin, we here at Buttcoin wish you the kind of success thus far only seen by Cosbycoin.

The post Introducing Brettcoin appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

[Bitcoiners] genuinely believe that if everyone found out about Buttcoin tipping then they would see that Bitcoins are awesome. They really believe that throwing a nickel at someone will make them a bitcoiner for life. Its so bizarre.

Its also funny watching Reddit bitcoiners start posting in random subreddits to do blatantly obvious buttcoin shilling. This is how it ALWAYS goes:

bitcoiner 1 writes some post tangentially related to whatever subreddit they’re infiltrating that day
bitcoiner 2: good point! bitcointip 0.02 USD
bitcoiner 1: this is amazing! thank you so much! this buttcoin thing sure sounds cool! im gonna go create a buttcoin wallet right now!
bitcoiner 3: whoa, what just happened here? <— that line is nearly always worded identically to that
bitcoiner 2: allow me to explain this awesome new thing called bitcoins
bitcoiner 2 spews five paragraphs of libertarian jargon and other nonsense
bitcoiners 4 – 7 post about how this is obviously the future and how they’re going to go right fucking now and get them some bitcoins, dammit

That is the exact thing that they do every. single. time. It’s like they dont realize how transparent they are.

It really is this obvious, and they get fantastically upset when you call them out.

The post Whoa, what just happened here? appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

[�]thealmightydru�188 points�1 day�ago

That is exactly the response one should expect from people who created a card game full of Holocaust and dead baby jokes. Get uppity about it if you want, but that’s what that kind of response is meant to elicit.

[�]fellowtraveler�1 point�9 hours�ago

Sounds like these people never heard of Bitpay. Don’t they realize they can get “real” money while accepting Bitcoin?

 

[�]permanomad�-5 points�22 hours�ago

Kind of a contrary message to give it out for free and then snub someone for offering money, even if it was a funny come back. I’m kinda with OP on this. OP: just print them off, then you get to keep all your imaginary money!

 

[�]ymo�1 point�7 hours�ago*

The guy who called bitcoin imaginary money is a shill for federal government. His resume includes designing Obama’s visual prop campaign elements.

 

[�]Joe5YL�44 points�1 day�ago

Seems like an honest response. All currency is ultimately faith-based.

 

[�]enkrypt0r�19 points�23 hours�ago

Ugh, the pretentious responses in this thread are disgusting. This place is a circlejerk. CAH is a fantastic game. Bitcoin is a fantastic concept. Chill the fuck out.

 

[�]Piper67�7 points�1 day�ago

Well, it’s what the Dogue of Venice told Marco Polo while burning some Chinese paper money worth about half of a palazzo. Let them plod along in their ignorance and hold on to their “non-imaginary” money for dear life

 

[�]TheAndy500�-7 points�1 day�ago

That guy is a douche. And “imaginary” doesn’t even make sense. Even if you think Bitcoin will end up worthless, it will still never be “imaginary”.

 

[�]lethalperspective�-7 points�22 hours�ago

“sorry we don’t accept imaginary money right now” LOL, then I hope they don’t accept US dollars.

 

[�]ChaosMotor�-12 points�23 hours�ago

Well there goes my interest in buying their game. It’s not relevant that the game itself is based on sardonic or dark humor, you�always�treat customers or potential customers with the respect they deserve. I was planning to pay cash, too, but I don’t buy from assholes. Oh well.

 

[�]jhansen858�-4 points�17 hours�ago

So basically he is being a fag about it and doesn’t give a shit.

 

[�]cpkdoc�-7 points�18 hours�ago

They just prefer the imaginary debt based ‘money’ their slavemasters issue via the central banks of the world.

and my favorite:

[�]RandomMuthafucka�-2 points�16 hours�ago

Hey OP, if you really want to prove your point to the sellers of this game, you should: Once a month send an email detailing how much the Bitcoin you would have sent in payment for the game has increased in value, compared to how much the USD has decreased in value due to inflation. After awhile they just might understand

The post Cards Against Humanity creator kindly tells bitcoiners to please go fuck themselves. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

So much for that. Reddit is spending more money on people to police the currency than actual bitcoins received. A whopping 2%, what a model for the exploding bitcoin ecosystem.

The post Reddit spends more money on managing bitcoin transactions than it actually receives appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Of course, reddit CEO Yishan Wong has clarified that they don’t really accept buttcoins, but instead rely on another company to convert them into real money that a major company can use and report on tax records.

Inquiries on when reddit will be accepting Monopoly bills, chocolate coins, and replica Confederate dollars have gone unanswered.

The post Known haven for pedophiles, racists, and misogynists now accepting Bitcoin as payment for subscriptions appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.