I want you to read the following block of text without thinking about how well your day is or isn’t going. This will induce spastic cringes so powerful your sleep apnea will be cured.
Because I’ve been doing more digging for Bitcoin-related stories, I have certain sources I tend to go back to. One of them is /r/Bitcoin. It has been one of the best spots for researching anything I have ever come across for a reporter such as myself. It’s like the all scams, misogyny and bad ideas come right to me! (But I look other places as well, because I’m not lazy, like CNN.)
I have no real opinion of Reddit. I actually kind of like it to be honest even though I personally never used it. It just seemed like some popular link site that had weird groups like the Bitcoin nuts in addition to being the homebase of the Men’s Rights movement. I got turned off by things like that and Adrien Chen’s article on Violentacrez but now, thanks to BTC, I’m back.
Throughout the time I’ve known of /r/Bitcoin I’ve figured it attracts a lot of newbies wanting to learn about the ‘coin. Seems reasonable, right? It is the first source listed in the “Keeping Up to Date” section on everyone’s favorite Bitcoin Starter site, WeUseCoins.com (now owned by Butterfly Labs).
In life, there are many things we know we don’t know. There are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. But what we do know is that there are 76% of Americans don’t have a clue what a Bitcoin is. Either they don’t know its a thing, or they don’t really care. In the same survey linked above, 80% of people said they’d rather have Gold over Bitcoin, probably because Gold is easy to explain and, economically speaking, proven.
But what about those few who genuinely want to know more? What about the men and women who are genuinely excited about such a interesting concept? Those who want to dip their toe into “The Currency of the Future”? What does the Reddit Bitcoin community, linked to by many of the most prominent Bitcoin introduction sites, do to help them, the newest of newbies, looking for the most “Up to Date” info?
The answer is just harass them, apparently.
Business Owner sounds off about Bitcoin Missionaries trying to convert him, the flock does not take well to dissenting opinions.
In a Reddit thread where the Bitcoin community tries an outreach program to understand why someone who understands Bitcoin would still have a negative view of it, a lone small business owner speaks up (now edited) and offers an insightful opinion on why he doesn’t think that Bitcoin is worth the trouble for his shop:
I am a business owner. My sole interaction with Bitcoin comes from Bitcoin missionaries.
Not a single Bitcoin missionary has come in that hasn’t raised my ire. From being told that it’s “natural for older people to fear technology” (I’m in my 30’s) to being told that Bitcoin will allow me to make “real money”, it’s been nothing but a condescending shitshow of buzzwords.
It doesn’t save me money on credit cards. Don’t bother, I’ve walked through this with them before. But then they say “Well, what about POLITICAL reasons, hmm?”
If I’d listened to the kids who come into my store, I’d be locked into a bunch of $1000 coins lost in Mt. Gox. Then, later, I’d invest in that new business-minded bank, Neo Bee, which would help me with all my commerce needs! Then, to top it off, I could get a Robochain ATM to further bilk my customers.
There’s a never ending swarm of condescending college kids trying to pitch me ideas that end in disaster over and over. I’ve written about them before. Remember the whole “YELP LOVES BITCOIN!” thing? Yeah, I had to scrape those fucking “promo” stickers off my door.
The thing is, like I said, Bitcoin doesn’t help me. But you know how I hear about Bitcoin? From the same type of people that come in trying to get me to sign up for “United Electro Company TO SAVE BIG MONEY!” or “Totally not a scam ATM Company TO MAKE YOU BIG MONEY!”
And, like I said, it doesn’t help that I keep getting pitched ideas that fail. Plus, as much as you guys talk about how it isn’t about the price, you should connect to the guys handing out pamphlets business-to-business.
There is literally no difference in behavior from someone coming into my store trying to scam me, and the Bitcoin people. Same behavior, same pitches, same everything.
So now when an awkward kid dressed in their dad’s ill-fitting suit come ins, dragging a buddy and pamphlets, we play the following game:
Watchtower or Blockhain?
Reddit, in their ongoing effort to seem friendly to newcomers and help them understand the nuances of the technology and how it can better their lives, puts their best foot forward and respond to common criticisms.
They call him a liar, a troll, and try the same tired schtick he’s just got done explaining that he’s heard a million times before.
Someone posed a question in /r/bitcoin on Reddit asking if kids should be
indoctrinated marketed to about the wonderful benefits of Bitcoin, other than drugs and gambling of course.
Bitcoin should “market” to kids (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 10 hours ago by Euphorbium
Well, maybe not market, but kids should be educated about it. There should be some campaigns targeting young children, similar to raspberry pi foundation teaching kids to code. Children are not stupid, nor as ignorant as adults, they will understand this if explained correctly and they can influence their parents a lot. If you think this would be somehow unethical, just think about all the crapfood advertisement targeted to children. This would be beneficial to kids, as it would help them understand current monetary system way better. How should this be done? I don’t know, but lets brainstorm. Maybe some bitcoin related mobile apps directed to kids are needed?
Some other Redditors wondered aloud however, what’s so wrong with gambling anyways? You should get your kids hooked on gambling too!
astrolabe 3 points 6 hours ago
I agree that children are a very good use case for bitcoin. They don’t have credit cards, but want to purchase things on the internet. There is a bit of a chicken and egg situation with not much for them to buy (I can think of the humble bundle) and not many kids with bitcoins. Improving either side of this relation would be helpful.
I gave my God son a small amount of bitcoin after explaining the system to him, showed him the transactions and blocks coming in on http://blockchain.info/, and the trades appearing on http://bitcoin.clarkmoody.com/.
I didn’t tell him about the bitcoin gambling sites, but he’s capable of discovering them himself. I’m not sure whether exposing children to gambling is a good thing or a bad thing. Maybe they could become addicted to gambling at an early age, but maybe they will have the experience of losing all their money when it doesn’t really matter, and it will serve as an innoculation.
Lentil-Soup 4 points ago
Don’t you think it might be a bad idea to introduce kids to gambling, an activity that can trigger all sorts of compulsive behaviors on young malleable minds? That if they lose Bitcoins they don’t just go “oh well, I won’t do that again” and might do as some gamblers do, keep wanting to chase that big score?
Or maybe it’s all part of the plan? Hmmm…
BITCOIN! Get ’em hooked while they’re young!
The Reddit bitcoin tipping bot is the worst way to promote bitcoin and the shills won’t shut up about it.
I have a confession to make: I read Reddit. I feel so dirty for reading that shithole of mysogony, racism and creepy borderline pedophelic behavior but I do love pictures of cats getting their heads stuck in jars. What’s a man to do?
One of the few subreddit I actually subscribe to is naturally /r/bitcoin. The subreddit that was originally owned by infamous bitcoiner Atlas (who tried to sell off the subreddit at one point) has grown quite a bit since it’s inception. In fact, not to toot our own horn or anything, but with only 200+ upvotes, our article on Bruce Wagner was the top post of all time in the Bitcoin subreddit for several months before some shitty image macro complaining about Paypal replaced it. Out of this subreddit a grand idea was born, the Bitcoin Tipping Bot.
The way the bot works is amazingly simple. Just follow these few steps:
- First know what bitcoin is and get yourself some. I’m not going to explain this part because most people will not get this far.
- Message the bot /u/bitcointip “SIGNUP”. A bitcoin address will be created for you.
- Send your bitcoins to this second wallet that you don’t control
- Tip other redditors by commenting on posts using the format “+/u/bitcointip @username (amount)
That’s all there really is to send bitcoins. Actually receiving bitcoins is fucking terrible for a person who has no interest in bitcoins in the first place. I discovered this first hand when someone tipped me $1 and I tried to claim it. Read More
DreamHost, notable for such things as “websites,” “domain names,” and “I think a goon used to work there,” releases an email newsletter each month to inform customers of important changes, announcements, and features that are coming up or have been made already. In August’s newsletter, their marketing VP opens with a humorous introduction to his new altcoin, BrettCoin.
Brettcoin is a peer-to-peer virtual currency that is generated from electrons – “something from nothing” as we say in the money biz! Brettcoin is a testament to the power of the Internet.
Brettcoin can be used to easily fund things like puppy mills, Scientology, terrorism, and “drugs”.
You can’t yet use Brettcoin to buy food, gas, clothing, or other so-called “goods and services,” but trust me – that day is coming! Once the world wakes up and recognizes the incredible potential of Brettcoin and the immediate improvement to quality of life that only peer-to-peer Bretts can deliver, you’ll have made your first million Brettcoins by virtue of being an early adopter!
Instead of appreciating the humor of this, especially regarding to the hypersaturated altcoin market, bitcoiners took to the streets, er, the basement computer chairs to take a stand, absolutely infuriated that Brett would speak ill of the Church of Bitcoin.
First they took to reddit, to call our brave entrepeneur an idiot and to promise they’d never buy services from DreamHost, which takes little effort on their part, since they were never considering it to begin with, instead opting to choose upstanding webhosts who only accept Bitcoin. Others swore they’d leave, but chances are they’ll just stay, since leaving would require effort. Everyone supporting Brett was shouted down or effectively censored with negative votes, so as not to disturb the echo chamber.
Meanwhile, a handful of dedicated zealots confronted him directly on twitter, insulting him, his company, his new altcoin, and generally being obnoxious. Included in this assault was Roger Ver, still apparently being mind-controlled by the staff of the Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange (Mt. Gox,) who commanded him to call Brett an “idiot” for displeasing the Bitcoin hivemind.
It’s a sad state of affairs when the Bitcoin community is so toxic that it actively stifles innovation. Godspeed, Brettcoin, we here at Buttcoin wish you the kind of success thus far only seen by Cosbycoin.
The reddit Buttcoin tip bot is considered by bitcoiners to be a fantastic way to “spread awareness” and attempt to indoctrinate others, bringing them into the cult of Buttcoin. We’ll delve deeper into the workings of this bot (it’s how I got my .05 Bitcoins,) but for now, we’d like to take a look at the following exchange, as outlined by the SA Forums’ Buttcoin poop-scooper, …!
[Bitcoiners] genuinely believe that if everyone found out about Buttcoin tipping then they would see that Bitcoins are awesome. They really believe that throwing a nickel at someone will make them a bitcoiner for life. Its so bizarre.
Its also funny watching Reddit bitcoiners start posting in random subreddits to do blatantly obvious buttcoin shilling. This is how it ALWAYS goes:
bitcoiner 1 writes some post tangentially related to whatever subreddit they’re infiltrating that day
bitcoiner 2: good point! bitcointip 0.02 USD
bitcoiner 1: this is amazing! thank you so much! this buttcoin thing sure sounds cool! im gonna go create a buttcoin wallet right now!
bitcoiner 3: whoa, what just happened here? <— that line is nearly always worded identically to that
bitcoiner 2: allow me to explain this awesome new thing called bitcoins
bitcoiner 2 spews five paragraphs of libertarian jargon and other nonsense
bitcoiners 4 – 7 post about how this is obviously the future and how they’re going to go right fucking now and get them some bitcoins, dammit
That is the exact thing that they do every. single. time. It’s like they dont realize how transparent they are.
It really is this obvious, and they get fantastically upset when you call them out.
Cards Against Humanity is a multiplayer party game created a few years back that bills itself as “A party game for horrible people”. It’s similar to Apples to Apples in gameplay except it’s very crude and you make jokes about 9/11 and dead babies. Bitcoiners are horrible people who won’t stop bugging companies to accept bitcoins and giving them ultimatums like “Accept bitcoin or I wont buy your product” even though it costs real money to process these transactions. Of course, instead of converting bitcoins to USD to buy their products, they insist the businesses do all the work for a currency no one is really using. So some bitcoiner wanted to buy a Cards Against Humanity deck and instead of paying with cash or even downloading the free PDF and making their own, they insisted that the company set up a bitcoin payment processor just for his one order. Of course he got all uppity and ran to Reddit to vent where they either called him an idiot or proclaimed the downfall of the world’s currency as usual. Read More
So much for that. Reddit is spending more money on people to police the currency than actual bitcoins received. A whopping 2%, what a model for the exploding bitcoin ecosystem.
Known haven for pedophiles, racists, and misogynists now accepting Bitcoin as payment for subscriptions
Reddit, bastion of free speech (as long as it’s speech with which they agree,) is now accepting payment for their pointless “Reddit Gold” service through Buttcoin processor Coinbase.
Of course, reddit CEO Yishan Wong has clarified that they don’t really accept buttcoins, but instead rely on another company to convert them into real money that a major company can use and report on tax records.
Inquiries on when reddit will be accepting Monopoly bills, chocolate coins, and replica Confederate dollars have gone unanswered.