Everybody whose shit was pushed in by the invisible hand, however, doesn’t want him to forget his follies and are intent on reminding him that they threw thousands of dollars away “investing” in an unstable proof of concept created by an anonymous libertarian. Read on for a lengthy gallery of people who have made terrible decisions:

The post Mt. Gox’s MagicalTux is back, oblivious as ever appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

As the price of Bitcoin trundles to new heights, more and more people are looking to cash in their Beenz and run like Hell before exchanges vanish or are “hacked,” and are finding it to be a rather daunting task. With the popular Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange taking almost two yearsto allow withdrawals, Bitcoiners are turning to smaller exchanges that are ill-prepared to handle the volume, small-potatoes ATMs, or shady parking lot deals made through LocalBitcoins.

We’re here today to detail the story of a man in Canada who happened to mine some Bitcoins back when CPU mining was possible, then forgot about them until the hype started to bubble the price unsustainably. This adventure is proving to be a little more difficult than expected. Here is his story so far, as outlined by SA Forums goon UberJumper:

I just learned my coworker has bitcoins from 2010. He apparently has spent most of the week trying to figure out how to convert them into USD. Mt Gox apparently wants an insane amount of personal information and even then he has to be added to a waiting list to even get any money out, and even then there is apparently some stupid low limit. But he sold some through Mt Gox, and estimates ~3 months before he can get any money out of it.

Trying to sell the coins in person, and basically saying he ether wants Cash, or a Cashiers check (since it can be handed over right then and there), has apparently been a hilarious clusterfuck.

Today he met some guy infront of his bank, and apparently as soon as he mentioned that he needs to get the cash checked to make sure it is not counterfeit, the guy freaked out and basically walked away. Stuff like this has been happening all week, and he apparently so far has only sold a single coin of several hundred.

Even more hilarious, there is apparently a place here that will buy your bitcoins from you. According to him on their site, they offer prices that are less than Mt Gox, so he tried to go in to sell them. Only to be told they will only offer 150$/coin.

Bitcoin is the currency of the future right guys?

The consensus here was “take the money and run.” Not so fast!

I would do that as well, however according to him they don’t give you the money on the spot they take the coins and then send you the funds through a wire transfer. Which means no ESCROW, given how scammy bitcoin is i think he choose the better idea.

Also apparently almost all of Gyft’s Gift Cards are not valid outside of the united states.

He’s already got funds in MTGOX, but it, of course, has problems.

Apparently he already has a 6 digit sum sitting on Mt Gox, and he is fine with giving them his personal information, which apparently can take a couple of weeks to get verified.

He is apparently scared of leaving a large amount of money on some of the other exchanges mostly because he is worried of “What if it disappears?”. He is fine with giving them his personal information, and he is willing to pay taxes/do paper work. He just wants his filthy real money.

I’ll let him know about bitstamp, he is Canadian though, the entire process so far from what i can tell has been a massive headache. I do know tonight he is apparently meeting someone who is willing to give him 500$/coin, so i have a feeling he will end up lying in a ditch somewhere.

This leads to their first experience with LocalBitcoins:

I just got back from accompanying my friend, to meet someone who wants to buy bitcoins. So we go to Starbucks, and wait for this guy who is apparently willing to pay 500$/coin, and wants 50 coins. The buyer shows up, wearing a decent suit, buys me and my friend coffee (with filthy fiat of course), and starts talking about how he buys local bitcoins and puts them on the major exchanges (I asked him if he considered himself a Captain of Industry, and got a weird look ).

Everything was going well, until the buyer tried to write my co-worker a check. Not a cashiers check, just a plain old check that will bounce if there isn’t enough money . Which according to him is apparently as “good as a cashiers check”. He didn’t want to use an ESCROW service, and his “feedback on localbitcoins.something is all we needed to see that he is legit”. Because you know an exchange valued at 25,000$ obviously you can just trust the guys feedback. We left pretty fast.

My coworker is going to try to use bitstamp and see if he can get his money out.

*EDIT* I just realized how completely and utterly stupid this is. Who the fuck does an exchange valued at 25,000$ in a Starbucks? Shouldn’t something like this be done with Lawyers, or Accountants present? Some sort of professional service to handle exchanges like this?

Obviously this wasn’t kosher, but they were willing to give it another try.

I am supposed to go with my friend soon to meet another Captain of Industry, to try and sell 25 butts at 300$/coin. He is apparently paying cash, and has agreed to meet us at a bank, and has agreed to have the cash verified as legit.

Bitcoin is supposed to be worth 800+ according to mt gox, yet getting someone to pay even half of that value in real life is apparently too difficult.

While we waited for an update, our beleaguered heroes were informed of the ease of cashing out via Coinbase:

Guys getting money out of bitcoin is super fucking easy, according to a goon who PM’ed me said i should use coinbase, and can just drive to the US and open an account. The steps involved from what i can tell are:

1. Drive to the US
2. Open a bank account with a bank there
3. Drive home
4. Sign up for Coinbase, give them all your personal information, and wait until your verified.
5. One of the verification steps is:

Complete A Purchase – Buy some bitcoin and wait at least 30 days

6. Ignore all these coinbase horror stories of that are on reddit right now.
6. Sell your coins
7. Since coinbase has no fees* they will take 1% of your money if you try to cash out.
8. Have the US Bank wire it to your other account (who knows what kind of fee it is!)

CURRENCY OF THE FUTURE

Success!

My friend managed to sell 5 of his butts at 400$/butt! So he bought everyone in our group lunch .

Also apparently when you fail coinbase’s identity verification it locks you out for 24 hours.

Someone wasn’t paying attention and suggested LocalBitcoins.

What my friend told me is that a large number of people on localbitcoins, wanted him to use something like paypal, or moneypak codes. Then kindly asking people who want to pay cash to meet at a bank, to verify the cash is not counterfeit, also apparently causes a lot of people to nope right the fuck out of there.

He can’t use gyft and cash out through giftcards because unfortunately the vast majority of the giftcards do not work in Canada.

He sold some on mt gox, and he is apparently in some cashout queue, with no real indication of how long until he can take his money out. Coinbase doesn’t let you use non american accounts to cash out. He is currently trying to get verified on VirtEx.

“Trust me.”

My friend and I went and contacted a buyer on localbitcoins, and met with him at lunch. The buyer was offering 600$/coin in cash according to the listing, and was willing to buy up to 25 coins.

My friend showed up, the buyer instead insisted on paying the entire amount in Amazon giftcards (50 bucks a card, and had a small plastic shopping bag just filled with gift cards).

I asked him how do we know the gift cards are activated? “Trust me”.

Nope.

The score so far?

He has cashed out (as in he has money in his possession and can use it) of 11 bitcoins so far i think (this is over 2 weeks). He sold 30 odd coins on Mt Gox, and is trying to cash out (he is in some sort of retarded queue and apparently there is a limit of how much money you can take out per withdrawal).

My friend is still trying to get Virtex to do anything. He filled in information and sent them all the information required, and is basically waiting for them to consider him verified. They also have a 3.0% fee on selling apparently.

Also apparently they charge you a 50$/month if you do not do anything with coins/cash on their system.

ARTICLE 13 – DORMANT ACCOUNTS
13.1 If you have not executed a trade with your VirtEx account for more than 1 year your account will be considered inactive. VirtEx will charge an inactivity fee of $50 per month up until such a time when the account balance reaches zero. BTC balances will be converted to CAD to pay for this fee, as required.

And finally:

Well this is an improvement:

Hello,

I am interested in purchasing Bitcoins and i am willing to pay $500.00 per BTC. Payment would be provided in the form of bullion gold bars of equivalent value.

Would this be a suitable exchange rate for you?

What the Christ indeed. For anyone left paying attention, cashing out in any appreciable way is a disaster, and you won’t get anything close to the “value” quoted on the various exchanges, which isn’t terribly surprising given that they seem to be subject to manipulation and in no way represent what people are actually receiving for their pogs. If UberJumper and his Bitcoin millionaire pal manage to get anything more out of the system, we’ll let you know.

The post It’s So Easy appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

TOKYO – JAPAN – June 20th, 2013

Over the past weeks Mt. Gox has experienced rising volumes of deposits and withdrawals from established and upcoming markets interested in Bitcoin. This increased volume has made it difficult for our bank to process the transactions smoothly and within a timely manner, which has created unnecessary delays for our global customers. This is especially so for those in the United States who are requesting wire transfer withdrawals from their accounts. We are currently making improvements to process withdrawals of United States Dollar (USD) denominations, and as a result are temporarily suspending cash withdrawals of USD for the next two weeks. Please be reassured that USD deposits and transfers to Mt. Gox will remain unaffected, as will deposits and withdrawals in other currencies, and we will be resuming USD withdrawals once the process is completed. We apologize for any inconvenience this causes our U.S. customers in the meantime, and look forward to resuming withdrawal service as well as debuting a dramatically improved trading engine which will be launching very soon.

Regards
Mt.Gox Co. Ltd Team.

Mt.Gox Contact [email protected]

Mt. Gox will no longer allow withdrawals for the next few weeks but will happily accept deposits and transfers just fine. You can put cash in but you can’t cash out.

MtGox also claimed that they are overwhelming the banks system. That bank is Mizuho. It’s the second largest financial group in Japan and the ninth largest in the World. Yes, MtGox is claiming the 2 week pause is this banks fault.

I wonder if they will encounter any more “delays” before they claim the Feds finally shut them down.

The post Mt. Gox freezes all USD cash withdrawals and says you can’t have any of your money back. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

One can dream, no?

The post Mt Gox closing all US accounts in 48 hours. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Let’s get this party started by calling people Hitler:

https://twitter.com/c01212uqti0n/status/335056183079604224

The government/PayPal/banks are afraid of Bitcoin!

Not everybody on Twitter is pessimistic though:

Yeah, I’m pretty sure this argument won’t work at all:

There’s more to social media than Twitter, which is why we’ve found these for you:

Bitcointalk:

Reddit:

Facebook:

Nobody’s career should depend on Bitcoins

For a fantastic laugh, look up “Freemen on the land” or “Sovereign Citizens“

The post The internet reacts to Mt. Gox’s woes appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

The post This is how royally screwed Mt. Gox is right now. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Ars Technica has revealed the court documents pertaining to

The post Mt. Gox. funds seized for running a money exchange illegally, lying on official bank documents appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

Text version:

DWOLLA

As of 12:13 PM on 5/14/2013:

You

The post BREAKING: Department of Homeland Security shuts down Mt. Gox’s business with payment processor Dwolla. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

]]> http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/breaking-department-of-homeland-security-shuts-down-mt-gox-doing-business-with-payment-processor-dwolla/feed 4 http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/operation-shock-and-awe-plans-to-bring-massive-ddos-and-price-drops-to-bitcoin-exchanges http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/operation-shock-and-awe-plans-to-bring-massive-ddos-and-price-drops-to-bitcoin-exchanges#comments Mon, 22 Apr 2013 15:52:55 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=1232 A group of hackers is planning on a massive campaign to drop the price of Bitcoins for fun and profit. According to a pastebin post, hackers are planning to unleash “Operation Shock and Awe”, a campaign to distribute negative news articles in conjunction with a massive sell-off and DDoS campaign on all bitcoin exchanges except […]

The post Hackers plan to turn your Bitcoin INTO A BOMB! Operation Shock and Awe to bring massive DDOS and price drops to Bitcoin exchanges. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

]]> A group of hackers is planning on a massive campaign to drop the price of Bitcoins for fun and profit.

According to a pastebin post, hackers are planning to unleash “Operation Shock and Awe”, a campaign to distribute negative news articles in conjunction with a massive sell-off and DDoS campaign on all bitcoin exchanges except one. Using this one remaining exchange, the plan is to buy up remaining coins for cheap, cheap, cheap and then profit when it goes up.

From the post:

1. 15:30-15:45 UTC – Spread bogus AP press releases to 50+ national US and British media outlets and 100+ local outlets indicating exchange site Mt. Gox under investigation by Japnese government for securities fraud, with seizure and asset freeze soon
2. 15:45-16:00 UTC – After initial publication of bogus AP press releases, spam story on reddit and upvote with sock accounts, spread panic in comments using sock accounts
3. 16:00 UTC – Several sellers lined up for a coordinated dump of 250,000+ BTC which will crash the price to under 100 to correlate in time with publication of bogus AP reports
4. 16:10 UTC – Massive coordinated http packet flood (distributed F5) from botnet of 1,000,000+ compromised machines on the following sites:
5. – https://www.mtgox.com
6. – https://btc-e.com
7. – https://www.coinbase.com
8. – https://www.bitpay.com
9. – https://www.bitinstant.com
10. – https://www.bitcoitalk.org
11. – http://s2.bitcoinity.org
12. – http://bitcoinium.com/
13. – http://bitcoincharts.com/
14. 16:30 – 17:00 UTC – During the ddos, buy only from Bitstamp which will not be included in the ddos but was included in the coordinated dump.
15. 17:00 UTC – Stop ddos, buy as much cheap bitcoin from MTGOX as possible as quickly as you can
16. 17:00 or later – Bogus AP reports will be corrected / debunked as hoax, price will rebound
17. Potential profit 200-300%

 

These sound like scary dudes, I think we should be very afraid.

 

 

 

The post Hackers plan to turn your Bitcoin INTO A BOMB! Operation Shock and Awe to bring massive DDOS and price drops to Bitcoin exchanges. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

]]> http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/operation-shock-and-awe-plans-to-bring-massive-ddos-and-price-drops-to-bitcoin-exchanges/feed 3 http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/as-bitcoin-jumps-20-overnight-someone-trips-over-the-surge-protector-and-brings-mt-gox-down http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/as-bitcoin-jumps-20-overnight-someone-trips-over-the-surge-protector-and-brings-mt-gox-down#comments Wed, 03 Apr 2013 16:16:47 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=1102 Bitcoin jumped from around $120 last night to over $140 this morning and of course Magic The Gathering Online eXchange shit itself because it’s run by a closet brony.     This is a company that makes $60k per day on average (more than $100k now with the price spikes and rise in volume) and […]

The post As Bitcoin jumps $20 overnight, someone trips over the surge protector and brings Mt. Gox down. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

]]> Bitcoin jumped from around $120 last night to over $140 this morning and of course Magic The Gathering Online eXchange shit itself because it’s run by a closet brony.

 

 

This is a company that makes $60k per day on average (more than $100k now with the price spikes and rise in volume) and has 18 employees but they can’t get a fucking server functioning for shit. Every time the price starts to drop Mt. Gox lags to the point of being unusable. Either they’re incompetent or are manipulating the price. Higer price = Bigger profits.

 

Can’t someone save the free markets!

The post As Bitcoin jumps $20 overnight, someone trips over the surge protector and brings Mt. Gox down. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

]]> http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/as-bitcoin-jumps-20-overnight-someone-trips-over-the-surge-protector-and-brings-mt-gox-down/feed 6