Move over, Bitcoin, SUPER MONEY is here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBbLpxLglz0
SUPER MONEY!
killhamster banking, buttcoin, currency, funny, gold, money, super money 4 Comments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBbLpxLglz0
SUPER MONEY!
Buttcoin bitcointalk, funny, hack, hole seekers, prank 4 Comments
On the day of October 2nd in the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Thirteen, something amazing happened. In the wake of the shocking news that Silk Road had been shut down and that it’s fearless leader Sir Captain Dread Pirate Roberts was totally fucked, BitcoinTalk was once again the subject of a full breach of their forums and code was injected into every webpage. This is the exact same hack that happened nearly 2 years ago when Bill Cosby graced our screens inviting us to join the exciting new world of CosbyCoins. The attackers didn’t leave much information about how or why this was done but it’s probably our favorite moment ever on Buttcoin.
Being the serious investigative journalists we are, we decided to track down and find out who was behind the “Hole Seekers” hack this time. We got our hands on the source code (all 7000 lines of it!) and followed the rabbit hole as far as we could go until we finally got in contact with someone who called themselves barbarianbob. barbarianbob is the leader of the “Hole Seekers” hacking crew and agreed to meet us in a dark parking garage outside of the Mt. Gox headquarters and grant us a brief QA session.
This is the story of the BitcoinTalk Hole Seekers hack, told from the man who made it happen.
killhamster buttcoin, crash, done, drugs, funny, panic, silk road 7 Comments
The US Federal Government shutdown has closed many “nonessential” services, but the criminal justice system is chugging along, and has outed “Dread Pirate Roberts” as one Ross William Ulbricht, and charged him with narcotics trafficking, hacking, and money laundering. It was fun while it lasted, Buttcoin!
[youtube id=”NoBFhdeR9PE” width=”580″ height=”337″]
ETA: According to some dude on reddit, “It looks like they sniffed him out by looking back at old Internet records (forum posts, IPs etc) around the times of SRs appearance. The first person to ever advertise SR was DPR himself, and he used an email account attached to his natural born identity. No NSA or technical hack.”
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, funny, mining, mining rigs, terrible 0 Comment
If you’ve been awaiting another obsessive catalog of disastrous and dangerous Bitcoin mining rigs, then you are in for a treat. Today Buttcoin launches the all-new BitcoinMiningRigs dot com, an archive of the most hilarious and ridiculous computers, cable spaghetti, and arrays of fans to grace the world of Bitcoin.
We’ll be updating it regularly, as we’ve collected a shameful amount of pictures and videos, and mechanisms are in place to submit your own sad computers as well. If you’d like to follow on Facebook, you can do so here.
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, DreamHost, funny, reddit, stupid 8 Comments
DreamHost, notable for such things as “websites,” “domain names,” and “I think a goon used to work there,” releases an email newsletter each month to inform customers of important changes, announcements, and features that are coming up or have been made already. In August’s newsletter, their marketing VP opens with a humorous introduction to his new altcoin, BrettCoin.
Brettcoin is a peer-to-peer virtual currency that is generated from electrons – “something from nothing” as we say in the money biz! Brettcoin is a testament to the power of the Internet.
Brettcoin can be used to easily fund things like puppy mills, Scientology, terrorism, and “drugs”.
You can’t yet use Brettcoin to buy food, gas, clothing, or other so-called “goods and services,” but trust me – that day is coming! Once the world wakes up and recognizes the incredible potential of Brettcoin and the immediate improvement to quality of life that only peer-to-peer Bretts can deliver, you’ll have made your first million Brettcoins by virtue of being an early adopter!
Instead of appreciating the humor of this, especially regarding to the hypersaturated altcoin market, bitcoiners took to the streets, er, the basement computer chairs to take a stand, absolutely infuriated that Brett would speak ill of the Church of Bitcoin.
First they took to reddit, to call our brave entrepeneur an idiot and to promise they’d never buy services from DreamHost, which takes little effort on their part, since they were never considering it to begin with, instead opting to choose upstanding webhosts who only accept Bitcoin. Others swore they’d leave, but chances are they’ll just stay, since leaving would require effort. Everyone supporting Brett was shouted down or effectively censored with negative votes, so as not to disturb the echo chamber.
Meanwhile, a handful of dedicated zealots confronted him directly on twitter, insulting him, his company, his new altcoin, and generally being obnoxious. Included in this assault was Roger Ver, still apparently being mind-controlled by the staff of the Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange (Mt. Gox,) who commanded him to call Brett an “idiot” for displeasing the Bitcoin hivemind.
It’s a sad state of affairs when the Bitcoin community is so toxic that it actively stifles innovation. Godspeed, Brettcoin, we here at Buttcoin wish you the kind of success thus far only seen by Cosbycoin.
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, funny, twitter 1 Comment
Out of boredom and the desire to utilize a massive collection of shit bitcoiners actually believe, we here at Buttcoin are “proud” to bring you a twitter feed in the vein of horse_ebooks, Reddit.txt, and other never ending streams of garbage: BTC_ebooks (because some lazy jerk already registered “bitcoin_ebooks” and then did nothing with it.)
Still in its infancy, it has already given us amazing advice and insights:
I admit to avoiding brushing my teeth in favor of adopting bitcoin as payment
— BIT COIN DOT TEXT (@BTC_ebooks) August 21, 2013
there is no female friendzone, even if everyone doesn't use it. The block reward just got cut in half… …
— BIT COIN DOT TEXT (@BTC_ebooks) August 21, 2013
Own a piece of Bitcoin &cheeseburgers
— BIT COIN DOT TEXT (@BTC_ebooks) August 21, 2013
It's the year 2016…Bitcoin is now a thing
— BIT COIN DOT TEXT (@BTC_ebooks) August 21, 2013
Bitcoin, the poor Americans offshore tax haven.
— BIT COIN DOT TEXT (@BTC_ebooks) August 21, 2013
ITS FUCKING CALLED Bitcoin, NOT Bit Coin SO SHUT THE FUCK UP
— BIT COIN DOT TEXT (@BTC_ebooks) August 20, 2013
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, fire hazard, funny, mining, terrible 1 Comment
As with the Easy Butt Oven, this simply has to be seen to be believed:
What could this be? Some sort of HVAC installation? Read on…
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, fraud, funny, pirateat40, ponzi, scam 0 Comment
Every bitcoiner’s favorite scam artist, the venerable pirateat40, has been formally charged with defrauding people with… a Ponzi scheme! Shocking news, bitcoins being involved with a Ponzi scheme, but here it is, laid out by the evil feds, who are OK this time since they’re punishing the wicked instead of holding down captains of industry.
Washington D.C., July 23, 2013 — The Securities and Exchange Commission today charged a Texas man and his company with defrauding investors in a Ponzi scheme involving Bitcoin, a virtual currency traded on online exchanges for conventional currencies like the U.S. dollar or used to purchase goods or services online.
The SEC alleges that Trendon T. Shavers, who is the founder and operator of Bitcoin Savings and Trust (BTCST), offered and sold Bitcoin-denominated investments through the Internet using the monikers “Pirate” and “pirateat40.” Shavers raised at least 700,000 Bitcoin in BTCST investments, which amounted to more than $4.5 million based on the average price of Bitcoin in 2011 and 2012 when the investments were offered and sold. Today the value of 700,000 Bitcoin exceeds $60 million.
The SEC alleges that Shavers promised investors up to 7 percent weekly interest based on BTCST’s Bitcoin market arbitrage activity, which supposedly included selling to individuals who wished to buy Bitcoin “off the radar” in quick fashion or large quantities. In reality, BTCST was a sham and a Ponzi scheme in which Shavers used Bitcoin from new investors to make purported interest payments and cover investor withdrawals on outstanding BTCST investments. Shavers also diverted investors’ Bitcoin for day trading in his account on a Bitcoin currency exchange, and exchanged investors’ Bitcoin for U.S. dollars to pay his personal expenses.
The SEC issued an investor alert today warning investors about the dangers of potential investment scams involving virtual currencies promoted through the Internet.
“Fraudsters are not beyond the reach of the SEC just because they use Bitcoin or another virtual currency to mislead investors and violate the federal securities laws,” said Andrew M. Calamari, Director of the SEC’s New York Regional Office. “Shavers preyed on investors in an online forum by claiming his investments carried no risk and huge profits for them while his true intentions were rooted in nothing more than personal greed.”
According to the SEC’s complaint filed in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Texas, Shavers sold BTCST investments over the Internet to investors in such states as Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Massachusetts, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania. Shavers posted general solicitations on a website dedicated to Bitcoin discussions, and he misled investors with such false assurances about his investment opportunity as “It’s growing, it’s growing!” and “I have yet to come close to taking a loss on any deal,” and “risk is almost 0.” Contrary to the representations made to investors, BTCST was not in the business of buying and selling Bitcoin at all.
The SEC alleges that Shavers, who lives in McKinney, Texas, paid 507,148 Bitcoin in investor withdrawals and purported interest payments. He transferred at least 150,649 Bitcoin to his personal account at an online Bitcoin currency exchange. Shavers suffered a net loss from his day trading, but realized net proceeds of $164,758 from his sales of 86,202 Bitcoin. Shavers transferred $147,102 from his personal account at the online Bitcoin currency exchange to accounts he controlled at an online payment processor as well as his personal checking account. He used this money to pay his rent, utilities, and car-related expenses as well as for food and retail purchases and gambling.
The SEC’s complaint charges Shavers and BTCST with offering and selling investments in violation of the anti-fraud and registration provisions of the securities laws, specifically Sections 5(a), 5(c) and 17(a) of the Securities Act of 1933, Section 10(b) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934 and Exchange Act Rule 10b-5. The SEC is seeking a court order to freeze the assets of Shavers and BTCST in addition to other relief, including permanent injunctions, disgorgement of ill-gotten gains with prejudgment interest, and financial penalties.
The SEC’s investor alert, prepared by the agency’s Office of Investor Education and Advocacy, recommends that investors be wary of so-called investment opportunities that promise high rates of return with little or no risk, especially when dealing with unregistered, Internet-based investments sold by unlicensed promoters.
“Ponzi scheme operators often claim to have a tie to a new and emerging technology as a lure to potential victims,” said Lori J. Schock, Director of the SEC’s Office of Investor Education and Advocacy. “Investors should understand that regardless of the type of investment, a promise of high returns with little or no risk is a classic warning sign of fraud.”
I hate to say we told you so, but we told you so.
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, funny, Max Keiser, stupid, terrible 2 Comments
In the wake of the Zimmerman acquittal, Bitcoin shill and inventor of the “Hollywood Dollar” Max Keiser appears to have totally snapped, deciding that he is now a black revolutionary instead of a weird old white dude.
@WazobiaMan Ask 100 black men who's the blackest cat you know and you'll be surprised how many say, Max Keiser.
— Max Keiser (@maxkeiser) July 14, 2013
Dear Black America, Start using Bitcoin to f** whitey up. Our brothers and sisters in Kenya are busting a move. http://t.co/AlW20eCU3M
— Max Keiser (@maxkeiser) July 14, 2013
If black America went 100% bitcoin they could control US economy within 10 yrs. Whitey is too frickin stupid to get it. This is our time.
— Max Keiser (@maxkeiser) July 14, 2013
@ClassClownKJL If all of black America had bought Bitcoin when it was .50 cent (get it!) they'd control more wealth than white America.
— Max Keiser (@maxkeiser) July 14, 2013
Satoshi Nakamoto is black.
— Max Keiser (@maxkeiser) July 14, 2013
killhamster bitcoin, buttcoin, funny, market, scam 3 Comments
Don’t worry if those words don’t make any damn sense to you, because the entire thing is utterly nonsensical. Aside from the absolutely ridiculous name, the concept is outstandingly foolish: you, the hapless butt enthusiast, buy shares in the Winklevoss twins’ Bitcoin holdings and they take your money, then list dozens of ways your money can disappear, along with a hefty dose of caveat emptor, followed by cacophonous laughter.
Some choice readings from the writeup, thanks to SA‘s terrifying Bitcoin robot, …!, followed by translations for us regular folk:
As the Sponsor and its management have no history of operating an investment vehicle like the Trust, their experience may be inadequate or unsuitable to manage the Trust.
Translation: We, the absurdly named Winklevoss twins, have no idea what the fuck we are doing here.
The loss or destruction of a private key required to access a Bitcoin may be irreversible. The Trust’s loss of access to its private keys or its experience of a data loss relating to the Trust’s Bitcoins could adversely affect an investment in the Shares.
Translation: Oops we deleted our wallet.dat/reset the Amazon servers/forgot our password!
Political or economic crises may motivate large-scale sales of Bitcoins, which could result in a reduction in the Blended Bitcoin Price and adversely affect an investment in the Shares.
Translation: Some idiot will shout “Cyprus!” and the price will swing wildly.
It may be illegal now, or in the future, to acquire, own, hold, sell or use Bitcoins in one or more countries, and ownership of, holding or trading in Shares may also be considered illegal and subject to sanction.
Translation: The US government is cracking down on Bitcoin because all it’s really used for is to buy drugs and underage porn.
Shareholders cannot be assured of the Sponsor’s continued services, the discontinuance of which may be detrimental to the Trust.
Translation: We very well may just take the money and run.
The reviews thus far are mixed. Wait, no they aren’t:
I've seen a lot of bad ETF ideas come to market. Some are still around, some aren't. I can assure you the bitcoin idea is dreadful.
— ETF Godfather (@ETFGodfather) July 1, 2013
http://twitter.com/SSVa_Raven/status/352135242380873728
Not got a ticker yet Winklvii? SCKR is free. FYI
— JvS (@James_v_S) July 1, 2013
Bitcoin ETF ticker ideas: $DCHE $LOSS $ZERO $SCAM (via @jamesvonsimson – his idea: $SCKR)
— financial acrobat (@finansakrobat) July 1, 2013
Winklevoss twins are making a play to make bitcoins mainstream. How am I supposed to fund Central American revolutionaries now?
— Jacob Threadgill (@JacoboLaSombra) July 2, 2013
After much consideration, my comment on the winklevoss twins starting a bitcoin ETF is "lolololololololol"
— Jordan Haley (@JordanAHaley) July 2, 2013
Where do you trade Bitcoin ETF shares for WoW gold?
— J. Vincent Bennett (@JVincentBennett) July 2, 2013
The Winklevosses should have realized their Bitcoin exchange wasn't such a hot idea when Mark Zuckerburg didn't try to steal it from them.
— Brandon Z Smith (@BrandonZSmith) July 2, 2013
The Winklevoss twins are creating a Bitcoin ETF: http://t.co/VvE1TH4efr Ummmmmmmmmm
— Evan G (@eYank45) July 2, 2013
Having never seen Social Network, not getting all these Winklevoss puns but seem to be the only guys who can make Bitcoin even more annoying
— P Millenium Ducats (@PMileniumDucats) July 2, 2013
Even some of the True Believers at Bitcointalk are not so thrilled:
Even actual money news people are critical and skeptical.
Do not give your money to anybody named “Winklevoss,” especially if they’re offering you Bitcoins in return.