No commentary for this one.
2 days ago I was delivering a USB stick with an GPG encrypted wallet to a customer for exchange. I wanted to do the delivery the next morning when I was going be in their part of town anyway but the customer insisted they needed it right away and I kinda owed them the favor of an after midnight delivery to the nightclub they worked at. No biggie, I’d couriered other packages to them there so I thought it was cool. Plus, they were gonna let me slide another week on a payment I owed them.
Anyway, the parking lot was full and I had to find a spot around the corner in the underground parking lot of a nearby business. I’ve blown too much money in that club on booze and women and squandered lots more on pool games, so to remove all temptation I left my wallet in my car and headed out with just my keys and the USB stick in my pocket. Because the street level is reserved for emergency vehicles and monthly paid parking, I had to go down two levels to find a spot. I parked near the elevators and noticed a couple of shady dudes hanging out near the stair well on the other side of the garage, smoking blunts and throwing bones. Oh, well, I’ll only be a minute. wallet and ride should be fine I think as I head to the elevators. I can prolly get one of the bouncers to walk back with me and the bundle I’ll be taking for the BTCs.
Turns out, the elevators are shut off that late at night. I gotta walk past the guys rolling dice at the stairs who are polite enough to tell me they shut the elevators off at 11pm as keep a brisk pace for the stairs.
About half-way up to the exit, through the long echoing concrete stairwell, I hear the more bleary-eyed of them asking in loud drunken slur what I’m doing in here this late and then something like “yeah let’s check it out”….I can hear them coming up the stairs.
I panicked. If I had my wallet on me I might be able to bribe them off with the $100 or so that’s in it, but all I’ve got on me is my keys and this USB stick that’s worth close to 10 large and my customer getting antsy at the other end. I start running for the next flight of stairs to the alley exit….when fuck me if one fast little bastard hasnt made it all the way around and is coming through the door above me with 2 more coming from below.
I knew they would shake me down and I had visions of them stealing the USB or worse, smashing it rage because I didnt have the blow or cash or whatever they were hoping to find. I didnt know what to do but I knew I had to do it fast….I swallowed the USB.
It barely made it down and was gagging me as it tried to make it’s way back up….they didnt know what to think. I think they thought I was having a seizure or something and just split as I stood there clutching the handrail and spewing out gobs of stringy spit as the jagged USB stick kind just hung there in what felt like the middle of chest.
Anyway…to make a long story short, I finally made it into the bar and had to belt down a couple of beers while I told my customer to fuck off for making me come out here so late with such a shitty neighborhood around. I told him he could have his BTC once it passed and that there’d be an extra 10% if that didnt happen before Wednesday.
The problem is, it hasnt passed. I’ve been shitting into my bathtub and put a big screen over the drain to catch the USB while washing it all down, but nothing. I’m fucking sick of Total cereal and prunes and had enough coffee to keep an interstate truck driver awake for 2 days. Nothing. I’m starting to worry the stick is dissolving inside me at this point.
I went to the emergency room and told them I think I swallowed something bad but didnt say what. maybe a battery or something. They took 5 hours to decide to take xrays and….nothing. They gave me some laxative and said to check back with my regular doctor.
I’m so screwed. The customer thinks I’m lying to him and the guy who I’m delivering for is equally sure I’m fucking him over. At this point if I dont get the 500BTC to my customer in the next 3 days I’m not going to have an ass to shit anything out of.
Can anyone please help me?
Bitcoin forums member sharuku is killing him/herself, literally, in the name of bitcoins. But at least the ferret is happy.
Found via the wonderful Bitcoin Mining Accidents site.
Lionhat Security takes claim for Mt. Gox hack and user dump, taunts owners and promises next black friday.
I just received an email from a reliable source (who clued me into the Mt. Gox hack well before the bitcoin forums knew) which points to a security group taking response for the hack and database dump today.
Subject: mt.gox hack 2day
i know the guys who hacked into mt.gox and dumped the data today. they released about 60k usernames/passes (hashed), but say they are hanging on to the good stuff for now, preparing for another major crash (without correction this time they say)
these guys aren’t lulsec or anon, think bigger picture, esp. in an unreg market like bitcoins ðŸ˜‰
He sent me a link to a manafesto from Lionhat Security, who taunts the lead developer storing US customer info overseas and who’s previous experience includes iPhone applications.
Another release from lionhat security
bitcoin sure has come a long way lately? people moving their life savings around, putting it all in mtgox. well you saw what happened the other day what we were able to acquire from them. maybe you shouldn’t have trusted an 18 year old whose credentials include an iphone soundboard app with your offsite servers. also, shouldn’t he have been paying attention to transactions instead of attending anime conventions? ðŸ™‚
well, good luck with the mining and all, we’re halfway there with the next black fridayQQ
so throw a few coins our way and we’ll give you a little preview of what we have in store next in addition to some more goodies we got from the last hack ðŸ˜€
— lionhat security – in kimshe we trust
They included a bitcoin block link so maybe they’re looking to cash in on the same penny BTC action from today, who knows.
Remember, if you have any tips feel free to contact me
YOSPOS is amazing
I mine slow
I work in the information technology, and a lot of the people we work with have a lot of regrets. I’ve asked our computer janitors to have their servers come out and help me mine. I mine so slow, time run backwards. As I kilohash along, your life runs in reverse. Scars becomes wounds become chances to exercise better judgement. I mine slow.
Like most people, I enjoy mining in the mornings, before it gets to hot. Unlike most people, I’ve been given heatstroke by a GPU.
I mine slow. Sometimes when I am mining, I think of those zen pools that absorb a bit bit bit of coin down a plastic tube before finally tipping over and dumping their contents into a wallet. Each hash I make is another bitcoin. I think, that pool would call me a pussy.
I mine slow. But I know where I have been.
Six months ago, I didn’t mine.
Six months ago, I had heartburn bad enough to keep me from sleeping through the night. Six months ago, I felt like I needed to go to sleep at 2pm. And six months ago, mining felt impossible.
I mine slow, and I have ways to go. But I can sleep. I feel alive. I can mine two, slow, bitcoins. Slowly.
Sometimes I get discouraged. I compare where I am to where other people are. But all that matters is where I am compared to where I was.
Once something good becomes something you are going to do for the rest of your life, the pace becomes less important. I know that my drip drip drip will amount to that deluge, eventually. Someday I will mine 3 bitcoins, slowly.
A few light taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It had begun again. He watched sleepily the bitcoins, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: bitcoins were general all over Ireland. They were falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. They were falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. They lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the bitcoins falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.
He’d come home and gotten right down to it, slotted the
miner he’d rented from Two-a-Day and jacked in. punch-
ing for the wallet he’d chosen as his first live target. Figured
that was the way to do it; you wanna do it. then do it. He’d
only had the little Radeon deck for a month, but he
already knew he wanted to be more than just some Reddit
hotdogger. Bobby Newmark, aka Count Zero, but it was
already over. Shows never ended this way, not right at the
beginning. In a show, the cowboy hero’s girl or maybe his
partner would run in, place the stop-loss order, hit that little red
stud. So you’d make it, make it through.
But Bobby was alone now, his Wallet.dat file
overridden by the defenses of a bitcoin exchange three thousand kilo-
meters from Barrytown, and he knew it. There was some
magic chemistry in that impending darkness, something that
let him glimpse the infinite desirability of that room, with its
carpet-colored carpet and curtain-colored curtains, its dingy
foam sofa-suite, the angular chrome frame supporting the
components of a six-year-old Hitachi entertainment module.
Reddit has higher standards than most people:
Yeah, the whole banking system is like a 3rd grader set it up. Having a P2P currency that falls in value at the drop of a hat, a currency that can be lost with a hard drive crash, a currency that no one accepts as real money (unless you want to buy beef jerky and more video cards) sure is the currency of adults with discriminating tastes.
Give yourselves a round of applause! All your tweets and twats and whatnot about this site apparently brought down the entire market! Currency of the future indeed!
Actually, we didn’t do jack shit, we’re just a humorous blog on the internet.
His point about telling me that oil didn’t crash and then showing a graph where oil crashed is just ripe to be explored further, but unfortunately the bitcoin site has limited discussion of anything bitcoin related to the “old miners” now. Newbies are no longer welcome in the world of buttcoin.
EDIT: I just noticed he’s trying to prove oil didin’t crash in the 80’s by showing me a graph of oil dropping in 2008. What a useless bag of hot air. How about a new graph you sack of shit.
Does that giant spike look like anything to you? IT’S A FUCKING BUBBLE AND CRASH