bust – Buttcoin Foundation http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org Buttcoin - It's Bitcoins with Butts! Wed, 07 Jun 2017 22:27:42 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.7.5 What really caused the 2013 bitcoin crash? http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/what-really-caused-the-2013-bitcoin-crash http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/what-really-caused-the-2013-bitcoin-crash#comments Fri, 12 Apr 2013 23:04:54 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=1179 As everyone and their mother is aware of now, the price of bitcoins has fallen drastically, dragging the Winklevoss twins’ net worth down by over 20 million dirty dollars, destroying thousands of redditors’ “investments,” and crushing the hopes and dreams of FYGM libertarians everywhere. Since this obviously was not a speculative bubble and certainly didn’t […]

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As everyone and their mother is aware of now, the price of bitcoins has fallen drastically, dragging the Winklevoss twins’ net worth down by over 20 million dirty dollars, destroying thousands of redditors’ “investments,” and crushing the hopes and dreams of FYGM libertarians everywhere. Since this obviously was not a speculative bubble and certainly didn’t pop because it was ridiculous, we’ll want to take a look at some of the forces that are actually at play here.

gribbleMtGOX and other smaller exchanges suffered from severe downtime and delays in trading as panic rippled through the streets and bitcoiners tried to withdraw their funds before their losses were too great. Now you may be tempted to say that these issues were due to being unprepared for the unprecedented popularity of bitcoin or that their infrastructure wasn’t suited to the unexpected rush of traffic. It could even be posited that the admins and coders were incompetent and clueless and had programmed the trading engines horribly. This couldn’t have been the case though, and instead we know for sure (because they told us and they’re absolutely trustworthy!) that every single exchange that was unreachable was being helplessly DDoSed by hundreds of thousands of anonymous hackers from notorious internet website 4chan in an attempt to both discredit Bitcoin and to drive down prices, allowing the miscreants to buy all the bitcoins at low prices before the rebound to million dollar bitcoins. Sadly, the attacks were unsuccessful and the mighty Mount Gox stands strong before us.

Some bitcoin enthusiasts have considered the logistics of launching satellites into orbit to maintain the bitcoin network and blockchain should the world economy collapse and cause a descent into anarchy. Those with access to the satellites would be able to continue mining and trading bitcoins, coming to rule over those who hadn’t planned so well. It could be that Avalon miners have surreptitiously been sent into space and slowly added to the network, their hashing throttled at the moment so as not to attract attention. Until Wednesday all was well until the notriously dangerous HAARP‘s energy was focused on these satellites, destroying the miners and destabilizing the currency, leading to the crash.

i_want_to_believeMeanwhile, the United States government has been attempting to destroy bitcoin as well, initiating their own DDoS attacks spearheaded by the CIA, launching packets from their headquarters in Langley, and the Department of Defense, using all five sides of the Pentagon to launch heretofore unprecedented attacks on bitcoin exchanges, bitcoin websites, bitcoin forums, and possibly even individual bitcoin users. Reports of imposing men dressed entirely in black suits attempting to intimidate and threaten bitcoin users have begun to trickle in. Unfortunately these reports are anonymous, as the affected users fear for their safety were they to go public.

We’ve also heard some rumors that the Freemasons are once more directly manipulating bitcoin prices, although to what extent and for what reasons we are unsure. They could be looking into colluding with the Illuminati/Bilderbergers to take control of Bitcoin while destroying the world economy and devaluing all other currencies with the ultimate goal of developing a one-world currency while ushering in the New World Order, eventually handing the planet over formally to the Reptoid aliens that have already infiltrated most of the world’s governments.

Its-A-Conspiracy

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How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bitcoin http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-bitcoin http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/how-i-learned-to-stop-worrying-and-love-the-bitcoin#comments Fri, 12 Apr 2013 00:16:25 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=1159 For anyone who has been under a rock or in a cabin in Canada or something for the past thirty-six hours, the price of Bitcoins has crumbled. After hitting a high of 266 filthy fiat dollars per tulip bulb, the price crumpled as thousands of people stepped back and realized they’d made a terrible mistake. […]

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For anyone who has been under a rock or in a cabin in Canada or something for the past thirty-six hours, the price of Bitcoins has crumbled. After hitting a high of 266 filthy fiat dollars per tulip bulb, the price crumpled as thousands of people stepped back and realized they’d made a terrible mistake. The resulting selloff once more devastated the Magic: the Gathering Online eXchange‘s servers, pushing the lag up to over an hour, allowing us to watch the price topple down the charts like distant starlight reaching the Earth for the first time in millennia. It finally settled at a low of $105 before jumping back up to $200, then back down, then up, then down, up and down like a yo-yo. Relatively smarter people and panic sellers got out, while the true believers rode it all the way down, despite their losses.

KongBitBomb

GIF credit @bakedinapie

MtGOX finally admitted that they were not being DDoSed, instead announcing that they are merely incompetent and unprepared for actual web and exchange traffic. They then pulled the brakes and halted all trading entirely to let the market “cool down” following the price crashing.

goxbrakesMeanwhile, trading continued at smaller exchanges, with the prices falling well below $100 as wary “investors” jump ship. Many of them have experienced their own issues from the flood of traffic, with Bitfloor crying wolf DDoS.

What drove this ridiculously huge bubble? If you ask the average bitcoin chump, he’ll tell you that the citizens of Cyprus are buying up huge amounts of bitcoins to hide from their government’s “theft” as the country tries desperately to save its flailing economy. Amazing bitcoin ATMs and fantastic new bitcoin services are springing up all over the country, as well as everywhere else in Europe. None of this is true, however. Cyprus is involved, but not in the way that everyone is trumpeting. Bitcoiners saw the crisis in Cyprus and attempted to pitch their flaky “currency” to Cypriots as a way to escape government controls, hype built up around this, media attention built up around the hype, and then this all began feeding back on itself until yesterday’s reality check.

7JOxqoA

Today, prominent posts in the bitcoin subreddit included links to suicide helplines, angry screeds about MtGOX, people calling each other out for giving bad financial advice, and the occasional smuglord showing off that he’s still hoarding his buttcoins. The atmosphere there is rather deflated. Bitcointalk just wants MtGOX’s blood.

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Who’s left holding the bag this time? Everybody who was gambling on the price going up uP UP forever, all the true believers who’ve been led astray by the likes of Rickard Falkvinge, Max Keiser, and Alex Jones, foolish investors who read about this newfangled “bitcoin” thing in shitty financial rags, and the Winklevoss twins�(notable for such aptly named websites as “Hukkster” and “

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Bitcoin: a story in six panels http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/bitcoin-a-story-in-six-panels http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/bitcoin-a-story-in-six-panels#comments Wed, 10 Apr 2013 19:22:49 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=1153 The post Bitcoin: a story in six panels appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

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asaybitcoin

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Someone grab me a fork, because bitcoins are done. http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/someone-grab-me-a-fork-because-bitcoins-are-done http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/someone-grab-me-a-fork-because-bitcoins-are-done#comments Mon, 17 Oct 2011 20:53:45 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=516 HAI GUYZ DO YOU LIKE WORTHLESS CURRENCY?? Bitcoins have dropped from a stable $4 to nearly $2 in less than 24 hours.     As of this writing, Bitcoins are actually a bit lower than this graph, around $2.25. As you can see, Magic The Gathering Online eXchange promptly shit itself over the news and […]

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HAI GUYZ DO YOU LIKE WORTHLESS CURRENCY??

Bitcoins have dropped from a stable $4 to nearly $2 in less than 24 hours.

 

 

As of this writing, Bitcoins are actually a bit lower than this graph, around $2.25.

As you can see, Magic The Gathering Online eXchange promptly shit itself over the news and is sputtering useless graphs out. That graph looks rather fortelling.

Bonus graph:

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Your new buttcoin .gif for the day. http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/your-new-buttcoin-gif-for-the-day http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/your-new-buttcoin-gif-for-the-day#respond Wed, 03 Aug 2011 20:07:11 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=329 The post Your new buttcoin .gif for the day. appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

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Bitcoin price tanks below $10 http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/bitcoin-price-tanks-below-10 http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/bitcoin-price-tanks-below-10#comments Wed, 03 Aug 2011 17:53:16 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=325 How long has it been since we’ve seen $10? Before the bubble? And speaking of which, here’s the chart for the last 4 months. Not looking good here folks    

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How long has it been since we’ve seen $10? Before the bubble?

And speaking of which, here’s the chart for the last 4 months.

Not looking good here folks

 

 

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Another bitcoin crash is in effect http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/another-bitcoin-crash-is-in-effect http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/another-bitcoin-crash-is-in-effect#comments Tue, 02 Aug 2011 19:42:57 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=323   Watch it live here:�http://bitcoincharts.com/markets/mtgoxUSD.html

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Watch it live here:�http://bitcoincharts.com/markets/mtgoxUSD.html

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Holy shit look at this bitcoin crash graph http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/holy-shit-look-at-this-bitcoin-crash-graph http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/holy-shit-look-at-this-bitcoin-crash-graph#comments Sun, 19 Jun 2011 18:42:46 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=240 Just look. It’s 1929 but in a nanosecond.

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Just look.

1929It’s 1929 but in a nanosecond.

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Bitcoin Bubble update 6/12 http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/bitcoin-bubble-update-612 http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/bitcoin-bubble-update-612#comments Mon, 13 Jun 2011 05:39:09 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=180 Looks like I mistimed the stage we were in. The crash didn’t start, we just hit the bull trap. Combine that with the fact that bitcoins always lose value on the weekends, it was just an ugly couple of days. Regardless, check out these kickass graphs!

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Looks like I mistimed the stage we were in. The crash didn’t start, we just hit the bull trap. Combine that with the fact that bitcoins always lose value on the weekends, it was just an ugly couple of days.

Regardless, check out these kickass graphs!

matches up perfectly

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Today’s buttcoin action summed up in one .gif http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/todays-buttcoin-action-summed-up-in-one-gif http://www.buttcoinfoundation.org/todays-buttcoin-action-summed-up-in-one-gif#comments Sat, 11 Jun 2011 20:53:00 +0000 http://buttcoin.org/?p=130 The post Today’s buttcoin action summed up in one .gif appeared first on Buttcoin Foundation.

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who uh whaaaaa??

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