Whoa, what just happened here?

Buttcoin/ Editorial

Whoa, what just happened here?

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The reddit Buttcoin tip bot is considered by bitcoiners to be a fantastic way to “spread awareness” and attempt to indoctrinate others, bringing them into the cult of Buttcoin. We’ll delve deeper into the workings of this bot (it’s how I got my .05 Bitcoins,) but for now, we’d like to take a look at the following exchange, as outlined by the SA Forums’ Buttcoin poop-scooper, …!

[Bitcoiners] genuinely believe that if everyone found out about Buttcoin tipping then they would see that Bitcoins are awesome. They really believe that throwing a nickel at someone will make them a bitcoiner for life. Its so bizarre.

Its also funny watching Reddit bitcoiners start posting in random subreddits to do blatantly obvious buttcoin shilling. This is how it ALWAYS goes:

bitcoiner 1 writes some post tangentially related to whatever subreddit they’re infiltrating that day
bitcoiner 2: good point! bitcointip 0.02 USD
bitcoiner 1: this is amazing! thank you so much! this buttcoin thing sure sounds cool! im gonna go create a buttcoin wallet right now!
bitcoiner 3: whoa, what just happened here? <— that line is nearly always worded identically to that
bitcoiner 2: allow me to explain this awesome new thing called bitcoins
bitcoiner 2 spews five paragraphs of libertarian jargon and other nonsense
bitcoiners 4 – 7 post about how this is obviously the future and how they’re going to go right fucking now and get them some bitcoins, dammit

That is the exact thing that they do every. single. time. It’s like they dont realize how transparent they are.

It really is this obvious, and they get fantastically upset when you call them out.

Bitcoiners will save Detroit

Buttcoin

Bitcoiners will save Detroit

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Detroit is in a bit of a pickle. They’ve recently declared bankruptcy after decades of population decline due to a collapsed auto manufacturing industry, unchecked suburban sprawl and “white flight“. Many mayors, council members and businesses have tried to turn things around with no success. It’s one of the most complicated issues facing the state and possibly the future of the country and there’s no single cure to rebuilding this failed city short of simply starting over. It involves a complete tear-down of many portions of the city, a condensing of the existing population, eminent domain laws, a massive eviction of long-time holdouts in the outskirts of the city and billions of dollars of relocation and community revitalization programs.

Or, maybe, all it really needs is Bitcoin!

Bitcointalk Member bbit recently discovered that crappy homes are cheap in Detroit! Of course he doesn’t realize that most of these homes are uninhabitable and it will cost more to tear them down then the land is worth, but you can solve all though problems with big dreams and a little bitcoin!

Here’s some choice quotes:

Crowdfund Homes in Detroit?
August 04, 2013, 03:23:41 AM

Was thinking the BTCitcoin community should snatch up some homes in Detroit after reading this article:

http://homes.yahoo.com/photos/yahoo-homes-of-the-week-homes-listed-for-less-than-5-000-slideshow/

“Detroit metro home values are expected to rise 4.3 percent in the next 12 months — the current median home value is $89,600 compared with $161,100 for the U.S. — but more than 400 single-family homes are currently listed for less than $5,000.”

Could use BitcoinStarter to purchase a few with tier rewards being whatever we want to come up with as a community. Anyone think its a good idea??

Read More

pirateat40 screwed, Bitcoin is real money as a result

Buttcoin

pirateat40 screwed, Bitcoin is real money as a result

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In case you’re not following closely, pirateat40 (AKA Trendon Shavers) has been formally charged by the SEC, and a judge has given the case a green light. The filed a “show cause” that seized Shavers’ assets before trial, and this is his real, unedited response to this action:

 

 

Defendant’s preliminary response to show cause

The court does not have jurisdiction because it is not within the securities law.

1) freezing Defendants’ assets;
It’s ridiculous for the court to freeze my assets that are required to pay rent, utilities, food, etc and be able to pay for an attorney. My wife does not work and cares for our two children.

2) directing Defendants to provide verified accountings to the Commission;
The court has no authority to order this because it is not within the jurisdiction and does not show a need for it.

3) authorizing expedited discovery concerning the location and extent of Defendants’assets;
Three days is too short and there is no reason for it based on other orders. This should be revised based and agreed to.

Have we mentioned he is appearing pro se in court? This should be amazing.

In his ruling, judge Amos Mazzant made the mistake of saying “It is clear that Bitcoin can be used as money” and bitcoiners have taken this to mean that the US court system, along with the rest of the world governments, have declared Bitcoin to be a real currency that will soon destroy the US Dollar, Euro, various Pesos, and so on. Some have simplified it to the point that they are just shouting “Bitcoin is MONEY” at no one in particular.

 

Famed Trader Joe Lewis is not investing in your play money

Buttcoin

Famed Trader Joe Lewis is not investing in your play money

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Bitcoiners are feverishly spreading the rumor that Joe Lewis is investing in the Bitcoin ASIC “company,” Avalon, passing a link to this now-rescinded story on the Wall Street Journal. One of the commenters there was quick to put two and two together and find that Bitcoin just doesn’t add up:

Telephone

A literal childe

Even the folks at reddit have managed to determine that the story is false, at least I think they did. Wait, no, they just read this tweet by a man who actually took the time to do a little research:

Despite this, twitter is still full of rabid bitcoiners spreading this crap like wildfire. What’s the opposite of FUD but also a total lie?

I don’t have anything else to add so here’s a photo of some bitcoins where they belong:

buttbucket

Yes that’s the “Daily Miner”

Cards Against Humanity creator kindly tells bitcoiners to please go fuck themselves.

Buttcoin/ Editorial

Cards Against Humanity creator kindly tells bitcoiners to please go fuck themselves.

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Cards Against Humanity is a multiplayer party game created a few years back that bills itself as “A party game for horrible people”. It’s similar to Apples to Apples in gameplay except it’s very crude and you make jokes about 9/11 and dead babies. Bitcoiners are horrible people who won’t stop bugging companies to accept bitcoins and giving them ultimatums like “Accept bitcoin or I wont buy your product” even though it costs real money to process these transactions. Of course, instead of converting bitcoins to USD to buy their products, they insist the businesses do all the work for a currency no one is really using. So some bitcoiner wanted to buy a Cards Against Humanity deck and instead of paying with cash or even downloading the free PDF and making their own, they insisted that the company set up a bitcoin payment processor just for his one order. cards-against-humanity Of course he got all uppity and ran to Reddit to vent where they either called him an idiot or proclaimed the downfall of the world’s currency as usual. Read More

pirateat40 Charged by the SEC

Buttcoin

pirateat40 Charged by the SEC

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Every bitcoiner’s favorite scam artist, the venerable pirateat40, has been formally charged with defrauding people with… a Ponzi scheme! Shocking news, bitcoins being involved with a Ponzi scheme, but here it is, laid out by the evil feds, who are OK this time since they’re punishing the wicked instead of holding down captains of industry.

Washington D.C., July 23, 2013 — The Securities and Exchange Commission today charged a Texas man and his company with defrauding investors in a Ponzi scheme involving Bitcoin, a virtual currency traded on online exchanges for conventional currencies like the U.S. dollar or used to purchase goods or services online.

The SEC alleges that Trendon T. Shavers, who is the founder and operator of Bitcoin Savings and Trust (BTCST), offered and sold Bitcoin-denominated investments through the Internet using the monikers “Pirate” and “pirateat40.” Shavers raised at least 700,000 Bitcoin in BTCST investments, which amounted to more than $4.5 million based on the average price of Bitcoin in 2011 and 2012 when the investments were offered and sold. Today the value of 700,000 Bitcoin exceeds $60 million.

The SEC alleges that Shavers promised investors up to 7 percent weekly interest based on BTCST’s Bitcoin market arbitrage activity, which supposedly included selling to individuals who wished to buy Bitcoin “off the radar” in quick fashion or large quantities. In reality, BTCST was a sham and a Ponzi scheme in which Shavers used Bitcoin from new investors to make purported interest payments and cover investor withdrawals on outstanding BTCST investments. Shavers also diverted investors’ Bitcoin for day trading in his account on a Bitcoin currency exchange, and exchanged investors’ Bitcoin for U.S. dollars to pay his personal expenses.

The SEC issued an investor alert today warning investors about the dangers of potential investment scams involving virtual currencies promoted through the Internet.

“Fraudsters are not beyond the reach of the SEC just because they use Bitcoin or another virtual currency to mislead investors and violate the federal securities laws,” said Andrew M. Calamari, Director of the SEC’s New York Regional Office. “Shavers preyed on investors in an online forum by claiming his investments carried no risk and huge profits for them while his true intentions were rooted in nothing more than personal greed.”

According to the SEC’s complaint filed in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Texas, Shavers sold BTCST investments over the Internet to investors in such states as Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Louisiana, Massachusetts, North Carolina, and Pennsylvania. Shavers posted general solicitations on a website dedicated to Bitcoin discussions, and he misled investors with such false assurances about his investment opportunity as “It’s growing, it’s growing!” and “I have yet to come close to taking a loss on any deal,” and “risk is almost 0.” Contrary to the representations made to investors, BTCST was not in the business of buying and selling Bitcoin at all.

The SEC alleges that Shavers, who lives in McKinney, Texas, paid 507,148 Bitcoin in investor withdrawals and purported interest payments. He transferred at least 150,649 Bitcoin to his personal account at an online Bitcoin currency exchange. Shavers suffered a net loss from his day trading, but realized net proceeds of $164,758 from his sales of 86,202 Bitcoin. Shavers transferred $147,102 from his personal account at the online Bitcoin currency exchange to accounts he controlled at an online payment processor as well as his personal checking account. He used this money to pay his rent, utilities, and car-related expenses as well as for food and retail purchases and gambling.

The SEC’s complaint charges Shavers and BTCST with offering and selling investments in violation of the anti-fraud and registration provisions of the securities laws, specifically Sections 5(a), 5(c) and 17(a) of the Securities Act of 1933, Section 10(b) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934 and Exchange Act Rule 10b-5. The SEC is seeking a court order to freeze the assets of Shavers and BTCST in addition to other relief, including permanent injunctions, disgorgement of ill-gotten gains with prejudgment interest, and financial penalties.

The SEC’s investor alert, prepared by the agency’s Office of Investor Education and Advocacy, recommends that investors be wary of so-called investment opportunities that promise high rates of return with little or no risk, especially when dealing with unregistered, Internet-based investments sold by unlicensed promoters.

“Ponzi scheme operators often claim to have a tie to a new and emerging technology as a lure to potential victims,” said Lori J. Schock, Director of the SEC’s Office of Investor Education and Advocacy. “Investors should understand that regardless of the type of investment, a promise of high returns with little or no risk is a classic warning sign of fraud.”

I hate to say we told you so, but we told you so.

Bitcoin mining difficulty jumps up nearly 20% today

Buttcoin

Bitcoin mining difficulty jumps up nearly 20% today

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In mining news, the difficulty in mining just jumped up(uP UP) 19.5%. I wonder how many miners are going to quietly ignore taking a 20% hit in PURE PROFIT from this.

For context, this means that if some hopeful soul gets his BFL mining rig today, it’ll be churning out bitcoins at less than one-fifteenth the rate they expected when they placed the order a year ago.

Even with the residual higher price of bitcoins following this year’s bubble (currently about nine times higher), they’re still only clearing 60% of the real money that they were hoping for at the end of the day.

And that’s before even factoring in things like the tripled electricity usage. And IF they manage to cash out at all despite all the new regulatory hurdles. And IF they got their hardware today, before anything else in these numbers goes haywire. (And IF it works perfectly.)

Bitcoin! 

Satoshi Dice sold for $12,000,000, forces all shareholders to give up their shares.

Buttcoin

Satoshi Dice sold for $12,000,000, forces all shareholders to give up their shares.

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Satoshi Dice, the quasi-legal Bitcoin gambling website that is nearly destroying the entire Bitcoin protocol by performing a systematic DDoS attack on the blockchain, just sold for a cool $12 million dollars. Founder Erik Vorhees, a bit wheel down at the Bitcoin factory, is going to make out a like a bandit right before the entire site either gets banned from playing the blockchain like it is or crushed by the feds when they realize it’s the single largest source of Bitcoin money laundering.

 

Dear Asset Holders,

I have some very important news to share with you. Some of you will be pleased, and some upset, but I believe this to be a solid, desirable, and fair outcome for those who have put their trust in S.DICE.

SatoshiDice is being sold, in full, to a new company that will take over all ownership, operations, and management. The total sale price is 126,315 BTC, or 0.00126315 BTC per share.

According to the MPEX Agreement, MPEX holders are entitled to receive 0.00126315 BTC per share, alongside other private owners. However, for the good of the MPEX holders and for the sake of the general Bitcoin community, which the site always has intended to support and nurture, SatoshiDice has arranged to pay MPEX holders an additional .00223685 BTC per share bringing the total to 0.0035 BTC per share.

This is a 277% premium over the sale price and a roughly 175% premium over the current market price of S.DICE shares on MPEX. It is also roughly equivalent to the average price of S.DICE shares at IPO (though BTC was $12 back then, and over $90 today).

Note that the MPEX order book for S.DICE was cancelled just prior to this announcement in order to prevent anyone from taking advantage of standing orders.

While I know some S.DICE owners intended to hold for a long time, and will thus be dismayed by the buyout, it is my sincere hope that this compensation level will be amenable. It is substantially higher than the contract mandates, and it is almost 3x higher than all private owners are being paid. It has not been easy to negotiate to this level, but I believe it is the right thing to do.

Further, there will be an additional small amount added to compensate for the previously deducted costs of the new website development, as it did not feel right for S.DICE holders to have paid for development of a site they won’t have a stake in after the buyout.

This letter is being posted roughly 24 hours prior to the payout, at which point MPEX holders will receive .0035 BTC per share plus the small additional amounts mentioned above. MPEX will then de-list the asset and the S.DICE MPEX Agreement will be satisfied. The payout will occur in roughly 20 increments over a period of several hours and will arrive in S.DICE holders’ accounts (in the same manner as dividends). All passthrough operators are responsible for their own assets and customers, obviously.

As per the S.DICE agreement, asset owners do not have voting rights to effect operational changes, nor any rights to negotiate nor block a full buyout of the company. Nevertheless, SatoshiDice has kept the interests of the asset holders in mind throughout this negotiation process, and has intended to treat these holders fairly, above and beyond contractual obligations.

I highly value and respect the trust you have placed in me, and I hope this outcome reciprocates that respect.

Kind regards,
-Erik Voorhees

 

Even though he’s cashing out a made man, in a final “Fuck You” he’s decided to force all this shareholders (yes, people bought shares in this sham) to sell at a price he sees fit. No, you can’t hold long term and no you can’t continue to profit under the new ownership. Too bad, read the fine print.

Of course, it wouldn’t be bitcoin without a little bit scamming in the form of some insider trading

Screen Shot 2013-07-17 at 9.20.54 PM

 

Someone bought a bunch of shares just yesterday before the announcement.

Good luck Satoshi Dice and I hope you fucking burn into the ground.

voorhees_erik_PSOwide

 

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