Hey dumbasses, if you’re going to send me a link to some obscure blockchain where no one knows what is going on, leave a workable email (not [email protected]) so I can ask for further clarification.

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  1. Lionhat Security taking claim for Mt. Gox hack and database dump, taunts owners and promises next "black friday". - Buttcoin - The P2P cyrpto-currency for butts.
    June 20, 2011 @ 3:24 am

    […] Contact […]


  2. Cosby BillCosby
    October 6, 2011 @ 12:06 pm

    Looks like the miners are really getting the “fuck you” from buyers…. Hmmm doth i see a pattern resembling bill cosby’s hand?


  3. Cosby BillCosby
    October 6, 2011 @ 12:11 pm

    Has no one noticed the similarity to swarm hash rate/difficulty and a standard deviation?

    Days are numbered indeed. Does this mean bitcoins predicted the battlefield 3 beta?


  4. Buttcoin is a business that knows it's shit. - Buttcoin - The P2P cyrpto-currency for butts.
    March 19, 2012 @ 5:15 pm

    […] Contact […]


  5. chris
    December 20, 2012 @ 5:51 am

    Good website sad its limited to spanking the bitcoin ecosystem(?) only (oh and closed).


  6. Fone Star
    March 20, 2013 @ 3:18 pm

    I’ll give you .0000001 BTC for this site as a historical document for legacy goons and trolls.


    • Nicsho
      January 8, 2014 @ 8:08 pm

      If you’d like, I can have a web crawler capture it and send the file to you.


  7. forkyou
    April 13, 2013 @ 8:59 am

    You HAVE to check out this Bitcoin story:;topicseen


  8. Dickbutt
    September 2, 2013 @ 11:19 am

    Look how these buttcoin sperglors are trying to be all cutesy about it to lure in the normies:



  9. anon
    September 6, 2013 @ 4:42 am


  10. LOL WHAT?
    September 20, 2013 @ 7:31 pm

    Dear Mr. Buttcoin,
    please don’t miss out on this fantastic business plan:

    TL/DR: dude wants 3 or 4 million euros in order to open a buttcoin bank in Cyprus. This is a fucking steal, cause Cypriots will come running when given the chance to deposit their euros in said bank. Why? Because who wouldn’t want to deposit money in a bank with no deposit insurance? Wait, it gets better. Once Mr. Rockefeller Wannabe gets those euros, he’ll promptly convert them to buttcoins using one of the many reliable exchanges out there (don’t worry, there’s no third-party risk here, buttcoiners are honest people)… Once the buttcoin price rises to the stratosphere, he can convert the buttcoins back to euros. Obviously, profit goes to the bank, and the customer gets the same euros initially deposited.

    A dumb man might point out that shit will hit the fan really fast if the buttcoin price decreases… But fear not, cause it’s brilliantly pointed out that when the customers’ euros start rolling in (millions expected), the bank can easily buy all the buttcoins available at the ask on Mt Gox. So the only way is up, man. Don’t be a debbie downer. The “reasonable” scenario described in the business plan predicts a 10% (or was it 15%? can’t remember, something reasonable like that) monthly increase in the buttcoin price. So, as you can imagine, once the bank starts gambling with the customers deposits, there’s no stopping that money train. Dividends galore. And everybody is happy:

    – customer gets to keep his money in a bulletproof bank (yes, the bank will gamble in a ponzy with that money, and even better the customer gets zero upside if the gamble goes well, but anywayzzzz the gamble is a sure thing so who cares),

    – shareholders get sweet sweet dividends (we’re talking millions here, go buy some shares ASAP),

    – and last, but not least, spectators of this trainwreck get to laugh at how dumb this all is.

    There’re 2 options here: either Mr. Banker is a scammer, and plans on running with the “shareholders” funds as soon as he gets the chance… Or he is retarded enough to think that he’d be able to pull off these numerous financial crimes in a EU country without being shutdown in minutes. Sadly, I believe option number 2 is the most likely. Regardless, don’t be sad for him, he’ll still have a few million in real money when it all comes crashing down. It pays to be retarded in the buttcoin world (until it doesn’t).

    Yours truly,
    Dumbfucked Johny


  11. EnronOwesMeLunch
    November 11, 2013 @ 3:49 pm

    Don’t forget to cover bitmit closing its doors. That’s their showcase site. Now all they got left to sell are cup cakes.


  12. chalidore
    November 18, 2013 @ 1:52 pm

    Current MtGox price is $663.70 per bitcoin. I bet you feel stupid. Those you crusade against are becoming wealthy beyond your wildest dreams. Jealous yet?


    • killhamster
      November 18, 2013 @ 1:54 pm

      Try cashing out.


  13. runeks
    November 25, 2013 @ 2:18 pm

    Where’s the original Buttcoin white paper? I can’t find it on the site.


  14. Guest
    January 2, 2014 @ 1:00 am

    This site is hilarious!

    Can we donate using bitcoin?


    • killhamster
      January 2, 2014 @ 1:22 am

      Cosbycoin or nothing


  15. buttman
    January 21, 2014 @ 1:15 pm

    Bitcoin does serve a niche so I’d like to see it stick around. Some use cases:
    1) If you want to buy pot online
    2) If you want to buy porn but don’t want your wife finding out you spent money on porn
    3) Subscribing to torrent sites where the RIAA has pressured other payment providers to stop processing transactions
    4) Donating to sites like wikileaks
    The problem is the libertardians and speculators that got involved with bitcoin. Hopefully they will go away when the bubble bursts and they lose a lot of money.


  16. anomalouS
    January 22, 2014 @ 7:40 am

    Hey, CBC here in Canada has just posted an article about a “bitcoin startup” who has no bank or office but MEETS PEOPLE IN COFFEE SHOPS, just like the horror stories on here. Might want to check it out!

    They’re reporting on it as if this guy has an actual business!


  17. BitcoinForAdollarSoon
    February 12, 2014 @ 9:40 am

    Its been an interesting few days, they’re lashing out in fear and attacking their own, it won’t be long now, here is a recap of what we saw:

    1. MtGox made public that a well known bug which was being ignored by the bitcoin “developers” was being used to steal coins.

    2. Almost instantly the “foundation” and “developers” released statements indicating that only MtGox was effected by and at fault and the remainder of the bitcoin ecosystem would not be impacted.

    3. We saw a flurry of requests for Mark Karpeles to step down from the “foundation”.

    4. Suddenly almost all the bitcoin exchanges stopped allowing withdrawls because in contrast to what the “foundation” stated, bitcoin developers were responsible for this bug and it in fact effected the whole ecosystem.

    It is very clear that this situation was caused by the bitcoin “developers” lack of interest in securing their code. It is also very clear that they attempted to hide this fact and shift blame to an innocent party.


  18. James Edward Lewis
    May 21, 2014 @ 2:36 pm

    I just sent an e-mail with advice for speeding up the site, followed by another e-mail with helpful .htaccess rules for doing so, because the site loads way too slow for me, especially the fonts.


    • James Edward Lewis
      May 22, 2014 @ 2:39 pm

      Oh, I forgot to mention, in that first e-mail, a little optimization to reduce the lag from DNS requests later on in the site load; for every external site, put a tag in the head like this: Also, the History section suffers from some charset mismatch that causes all of your apostrophes and double-quotes to look like three strange characters; I see you’re now sending content as utf-8, and you probably composed it in windows-1252 or something, so you should change everything that looks like ??? to ” or ‘ depending on context.


    • James Edward Lewis
      May 23, 2014 @ 5:23 pm

      Okay, I just saw that all three e-mails I sent from lewisje [AT] alumni [D0T] iu edu got bounced, so I’ll just re-post their contents in Pastebins…

      Buttcoin, please speed up your site:
      some helpful .htaccess rules for speeding up
      some helpful .htaccess rules for securing

      The advice in these Pastebins is general, so it’s good that I posted them anyway.


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