May he forever get watery, overpriced drinks.
May he forever get watery, overpriced drinks.
It has recently come to my attention that white power hate powerhouse Stormfront.org is running out of cash†and has resorted to a sad fundraiser in order to support their odious website and terrible forums. What can we do to help them in their continuing quest to preserve their racial “purity” and live in bunkers full of canned food and ammunition?
Loosen up your wallets, True Believers, let’s gather together and tell Don Black†all about Bitcoin! Just imagine, the Currency of the Future
To understand the phenomena surrounding the illustrious Bitcoin, one has to first understand the original cargo cults that sprang up in post-WWII Melanesia and similar Pacific islands. Essentially, Japanese and Allied soldiers were stationed on the island, bringing with them all manner of supplies, from food to clothes to vehicles and more, and shared a bit of these with the native islanders, who, due to a lack of missionaries present in a warzone, weren’t informed of the reason behind this sudden flurry of wealth.
After the war ended and forces withdrew, cults developed on the islands; leaders promised their followers a return of the wealth and benefactors. People imitated the now-gone soldiers in dress and behavior, and constructed elaborate life-size replicas of things such as planes, Jeeps, air traffic control towers, runways, and more. It was believed that these items and mimicking the troops’ drills and behavior would bring back the planes and materiel, and that the various forces who were stationed on the islands were related to either deities or ancestors, and used this power to bring great wealth.
Bitcoin operates in a similar fashion. Take, for example, institutions like the NYSE, NASDAQ, IPOs, and large banks. Buttcoiners see these systems and want their toy
Reddit, bastion of free speech (as long as it’s speech with which they agree,) is now accepting payment for their pointless “Reddit Gold” service through Buttcoin processor Coinbase.
Of course, reddit CEO Yishan Wong has clarified that they don’t really accept buttcoins, but instead rely on another company to convert them into real money that a major company can use and report on tax records.
Inquiries on when reddit will be accepting Monopoly bills, chocolate coins, and replica Confederate dollars have gone unanswered.
Bitcoiners absolutely love their pizza, probably more than Cheetos and Mountain Dew. The first Bitcoin purchase was a pizza (trading Bitcoins for real money for pizza, of course, nobody actually accepts Bitcoin,) and it comes up again and again, along with less appealing food like dried strawberries or frightening beef jerky.
Now you, too, can throw your fake money away for greasy cardboard at the first Bitcoin pizza proxy service. Pay PizzaForCoins.com†a stack of digital Pogs and they’ll convert it to actual money, call your local Domino’s (no good pizza joints allowed,) and order you a pile of cheese and questionable toppings. It will only take an extra twenty or thirty minutes to process the Bitcoin payment and have some random person read and convey your order (maybe even accurately!)
I’m not actually going to try to order a cheap pizza via Buttcoiner, so I’ll just assume there’s no option to tip your driver.
Stated elsewhere, “[t]he site does not disclose if it is intended to be a profit-earning enterprise.” It’s Bitcoin, so it’s nothing but pure 10% profit!
Yesterday Amazon.com announced the “Amazon Coin,” a virtual currency to be used to make in-app purchases and more on their Kindle Fire platform. Bitcoiners, of course, are seething with jealousy, since Amazon is a name that’s actually trusted and isn’t involved with shady black markets that are facing increased attention from police.
One Bitcoiner almost gets it:
So, it’s just like paying with your credit card the way you do now, except more complicated, involves you paying more than what you actually need to buy, forces you to trust someone else to hold on to your money, and gives you coins that you can’t sell back, which are completely useless outside of Amazon. Is it just me, or does this seem like a totally useless idea that misses all the points of having a virtual currency?
They are so close to understanding…
The thread in question is here on MetaFilter, wherein a Bitcoiner posts a link to the Bitcoiner blog inexplicably hosted on Forbes’ website. And we’re sure “FreeToEvolve” would gladly pay to join in the discussion if they accepted his favorite Ron Paul Funbux instead of filthy fiat Dollars.
What horrible things would you be willing to do just to get some free “money?” Let’s find out!